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Is Brazil the new Ukraine?

Raul Rasenstah | 26.05.2016 11:11 | Globalisation | Other Press | Social Struggles | World

This is too much. While I was off-grid, the imperialist abused my identity, the puppet regime it maintains on this land destroyed my neighbourhood, and a toxic corporation went to lobby my relatives. Alarm! I pulled the emergency plan I had recently enacted upon his recommendation and called Ras Ramsay for consultation. Of course he does not have a network address so I sent him a series of smoke signs, one tiny cloud after another, and yes they were not overlooked, he immediately appeared at my hillside hideout behind the decommissioned abbey turned fish monoculture, and together we ground a huge worm. Here it is.

“I chose the above title because two total refuseniks sharing a fireplace on a remote neck of the Ethiopia-Eritrea border line asking for supreme consultation on identity theft dismantling are unlikely to come up with a focus on South American affairs, and yet it is precisely so as you will soon understand. Here we introduce it from start, just like in the commercial media frenzy over the Portuguese provincial governor who during a holiday visit to Egypt contacted the Presidential Office with the wish to return a golden Pharaoh mask stolen by colonialists, and was declined an appointment with the remark that he could hand it in at the Archaeological Museum. Likewise, the dear reader should not expect an invitation to the two men whose names happen to settle on each other's opposite side of the footpath, but instead the same news update from the grid-ridden world that put their situation into context. For you it suffices to know that the government abusers told my clients' families to emigrate to Papoa while what they really meant is to end up as prisoners on occupation warships off Diego Garcia. I will spare you the gruesome details of the particular case, and indeed you can easily do so on your own, watching it through the glasses of the Sator Report on Modern Galley Operation in Extraterritorial Waters.”

“For contrast, I like to introduce you to a case of successful treatment of identity abuse. We can discuss it in the creative commons as it is entirely filtered through the Feldkopf Kaleidoscope, the evidence depersonalisation methodology Eva-Maria Sator developed in the archaeological field. Everybody has heard of Ann-Harbour-based newspaper journalist Teutonia Wingfield-Hayes after her off-duty clip on Wilk's Law went viral. The supreme method to successfully curb medical errors is to weed out candidates who would make a grave mistake in trying to cover up a disputable mistake. Wilk's Law. She brought this into politics and found that heads of state at Nato meetings would not mention side-effects when they gave advice to each other. Not so much that someone would make a recommendation against better knowledge, although that happens too, but that someone would make a suggestion, others would quietly drop it but fail with the status quo, until someone ignorant of the side-effects was to take it up on short notice, as opposed to telling each other that there were downsides to implementations, discuss pros and cons, and work out proposals from prototype to specific case-to-case scenarios before making decisions.”

“When she lobbied various heads of state in a row at a meeting in a Bavarian skiing resort, she noticed on the sidelines that the rumours of live bunnies being catered in for the pleasure of the Turkish delegation were partly true partly wrong, namely that the caged livestock was in fact being delivered to the British suite, blew the whistle, and the rest you know. Except maybe how the kerosene bottle got into the fire-gutted printery. I like her statement that the day-to-day chatter of so-called “surgical operations” in the press conferences had seduced her to turn the spear and hold the militaries accountable to an award-winning medical standard. Beside the Nursing Nato project, you might also know her stunt appearance in the American Bible Belt suburb where a Trump devotee had an 1:1 replica of the Clinton home built as a tourist attraction to be attached to one of his casinos. The Supreme Court ruled 5:4 that it was an illegal manipulation as it stood and fell with results obtained from an unlawful intrusion exploiting a clinical stay of the couple.”

“After the Nato bunny craze had made her prominent, she was invited to North Korea, which she very soon left with a shock. There is no imagery of her breakdown though, as she reported herself: When the foreign press corps she was part of approached the Natural History Museum for a supreme field guidance, there were huge displays saying – in the English language – NO CAMERA STILL NO PROBLEM – with three different types of cameras depicted inside signal red banning circles. Whenever someone would interrupt the proceedings with a camera, there would be a collective decision whether a still was appropriate and then the cameras were to be bagged again. Of course the first aid medics calmed her colleagues as she was in treatment. But what had happened? When the head of state entered the exhibition hall with his entourage of advisers, he went directly to the multimedia switchboard and pushed a button labelled THREATS. Without advance warning, the surround sound system fired off an esoteric sound-bite on historical aphrodisiacs. The Marshall later apologised saying he had shown the press corps how he was testing his advisers, and some had displayed much more spectacular performances in similar situations in the past than her regrettable moment was worth mentioning.”

“Yet in the eyes of some it appeared to be a stain, and a radio host in the South came up with a propaganda piece tailored on the incident suggesting it showed how she was sexually attracted by the man. When she asked her employer for a change of assignment, they dispatched her to Nigeria where she was captured by Boko Haram militants and sentenced in a Sharia court to suffer alive burial. The measure was being enacted by a special unit of the insurgent militia calling itself the Caesarean Section set up as a replacement hierarchy for conquering the Roman church´s Congregation of Faith. When the area fell to their opponents just a little after the grave was closed, she was taken out and survived. There is no video of the live burial though it was filmed, but the militants had decided to publish it only half a year later when the second half of the clip was filled up with daily stills of plants growing on the grave, and the only copy of the footage was lost in the fighting. You know there are huge audiences of spoiled consumers taking apishness for empathy whose spending power could be mined with telecommercials placed next to such a stark broadcast, and that is their major source of financing.”

“According to the Makepeace Empathy Standard her public profile had reached an empathy quotient of 2060 points promising enormous revenues through collateral context subscription. After all, they had not intended her to survive. She went on covering the experience of a Bangladesh-based monk who had won a bizarre tug-of-war with the national government over the sweat-shop crisis. When he said that he was not mandated to negotiate collective bargains in the name of his community and pointed out that doing so nevertheless would endanger people´s faith in him, he was blatantly suggested to make a bargain with negotiations covered up, and replied upfront that the reason why they might lose faith was precisely that they would be looking for a cover-up where it looks like one, sounds like one and smells like one, so he would not recognise authorities other than as insolvency applicants. In its mindless rage over his bowing to the masses the in fact morally insolvent regime called that native inhabitant an unwelcome guest, and Wingfield-Hayes went to unearth the `Bhang Fraud´, that is the fraud pursued only for pursuing more fraud, which said temple hermit had come to face down with his inexhaustible faith in his community.”

“Latest, Brazilian separatist leader Ernesto Kalbacher, whose militia, the Native Community, seized the Western half of the country after a syndicated cartoonist drew a line on a map in what he meant as a joke, said he had a problem with Wilk's Law too. He pronounced an unlikely invitation, asking TWH to come to Shockotopia, a jungle community grouped around Aum Square and named in respect of the Japanese Shinto preacher who had eternally humbled government agents in a subway train by forcing them to choose between dropping their cover to disrupt a vague appearance of a surprise attack and speculating on hot air, with the agents losing both. Kalbacher said that True Brazil, as he named his provisional state, was facing similar problems with ill-informed students coming from the cities to join the Native Community who put up their tents inside ripe corn fields in harvesting season, because they were not aware that legacy corporate-controlled farmers would rather fake an accident than admit that they were being provided illegal aerial camera feeds with their ´terminal´ seeds. In one case, NC guerillas had to pull a naive student out of its tent after a beer party night just seconds before harvesting machines transformed the equipment into pulp, because the student brought in 'the good stuff' to make friends for starting a rebel career. Nevertheless, swapping motivated against unmotivated people always is a bad idea.”

“Ernesto Kalbacher repeatedly said that – in his view – the leader of old Brazil, a naive neoliberal in a state tie, belonged into the closed realm of a mental health clinic – and he did not emulate the Pharaoh Fallacy, but instead stated Teutonia Wingfield-Hayes was welcome on the basis of the vote note ruling. In the United Nations Vote Note Ruling, an employee meeting decided that when a diplomat opens the office of another diplomat, and it is not locked, if there is a note sheet and a pen lying on the desk, the visitor is mandated to fill in his issue, arguing that a piece of paper alone was not sufficient, but the complete equipment of an election booth was, as with the role of condoms in the rape proceedings targeted upon Wikileaks. A diplomat is generally being expected to be able to express a sovereign will beyond the X political analphabets tend to draw into a checkbox. The Vote Note Ruling has led to a cautious emergence of a culture of unlocked doors, but the body is not yet as different from Nato as many would like it to be. Unlike the name, the technique was already invented a few years earlier by a Finnish development aid negotiator, but the formal adoption argues the door sign ´guest book entry mandatory´ he had used is redundant.”

“Kalbacher said in True Brazil there were many such doors and she appeared as if she was understanding the significance thereof. He was not able to pay salaries to Native Community activists, but argued they were entitled to an equal share of the public wealth such as any inhabitant and that was enough. Kalbacher also likes to elaborate in pep talks that the precise wording of Wilk's Law was to be understood as an unconditional taboo against the employment of anything fitting into an analogy to herbicides as part of the maintenance. To illustrate this, Kalbacher said he would not tear down monuments and statues of the old regime disapproved by the population, but concentrate them in historical theme yards where they are minor nuisances until there are no further arguments against the recycling of the material. Demolition was only feasible spontaneously, like the nurse dropping the thermometer because the cleaning service is better for the patient than any more of the current mood of the surgeon. Democracy, Kalbacher pointed out, was a lot less attractive than it appeared to be on the first glance once stripped of the illusion that it had something other systems did not have, and there is a sound-bite of a speech he gave in front of Al-Anfal Gate calling everyone to show him what it was that democracy had brought that was new, but nobody could.”

“And indeed under the Vote Note Rule it is no longer plausible to erect an election booth in front of his nose and tell him that was it, because he would complain that the alphabet of your system lacked multiple letters. Recently the separatist leader, who is doubling as mayor of Shockotopia, in his regular Wednesday Speech to local crowds called Dr. Abgar. After various factions had demanded a clear position on the mega-leak scandal, asking what to make of the direct and one-sided denial, the answer was that it read like a job application by a rogue official in the surroundings of a large spying agency. The ubiquitous wealth redistribution issue is being drummed up as a dramatic distraction from the dawning insight into everyday destructive forces of capitalism, and the vocable 'we' is being used as if the speaker already had got the job it yearned for. Or perhaps the sordid blurbs of mindless imposters have now reached the stadium of unconscious admission of questionable habits of gazing at victims instead of observing perpetrators.”

“This honk wants you to believe shackled hitmen were dignified whistleblowers. If you want real whistleblowers, go for the plane of which no one knows anything certain despite it dropped out of the stratosphere like a meteorite touching our natural shield. If these people came to a truck crash where the bits and pieces of the blown tire are spread across the rescue path, will they feign cluelessness as well, will they as well spout veiled threats that it could take them months to get their whistles operational? Kalbacher thanked Abgar and said he had a simple and elegant proposal how the Native Community was to handle government agents. Where the word ´neighbour´ is becoming a pejorative, Jesus has left town. Kalbacher said he was to take them to a forest that had suffered under their administration, sort them in the order of their intensity of involvement, and decorate each stump found in it with a skull until missing trees are made good for. Or would you prefer to have roots extracted to make room for mass graves?”

“He argued such proceeding was mandated since Native Community activists in response to their painting of faces on trees marked for cut-down found large swaths of trees sprayed with paint specifically for the purpose to provoke more correctional activity from their side, and when they brought out additional reversible marks in the form of textile stripes to teach the officials the precious value of reversibility, they found them relocated to seedlings that would anyway be rolled over by heavy machinery, proving the official excuse that reversible tagging was too effort-intensive an unsubstantiated allegation. Wingfield-Hayes was invited to independently survey the damage caused by the neoliberalist scourge, and being guaranteed that he would not be pressing any buttons for her, he said, adding that he wanted her to help him offer political asylum to suspended old Brazilian head of state Dilma Roussef without any rumours betting on another Pristine Courtesan case, as what he described as 'my wacky counterpart over there' would certainly come up with.”

“Kalbacher is a two-point-zero no-one who found his craftsmanship training aborted by corporate austerity and consequentially decided to reach for the world record in long term unemployment. But then his campaign slogan ´unconditional base income as in unconditional surrender not unconditional loyalty´ began to attract followers. When he had made that invitation, it was one of Kalbacher's closest aides that took the audience microphone asking whether he thought Brazil was becoming the new Ukraine. Answer: If there was a shooting war there would be refugees. But who would want to? This constellation is a prototype counter-image against identity-theft-based puppet regimes. I remind you the guy is all but off the mark asserting that old Brazil accepting to be whistleblowered with oil leaks by the imperialist is indeed a crazy constellation, because even though one would like to know all that, no one does want this information to become the movable type for putting together a message of ignorance of natural sovereignty. Even if it does not result in a coup it might make the sitting head of state appear like a result of a coup, as only strongmen stand through tsunamis. Turkey confuses some ailing states up to this point, and Greece behaves beer-hall grade naive with respect to sea shock. Be aware, that ignorance could be as deadly as the tent in the corn field harvest. Now let me make a few closing remarks for our broader audience, which I ask the two of you to put ahead of this chapter on the issue of the shooting war question.”

Sunday, May 22nd 2016

Raul Rasenstah


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