Watchers of and Lurkers on Russian newswires will have been chortled to learn that newly appointed Prime Minister of Russia, V. Putin has ordered the building of a mausoleum on the scale of Arlington in Virginia USA for fallen military heroes and future (or past heads of state).
on the 28th of August, 2005 Georgi Poltavchenko delegate to the central federal district of Russia suggested burying Lenin. That meant putting him in a box, sticking it under ground, and hopefully forgetting about all the mausoleum stuff. Yeltsin had suggested the same thing in July 1999.
As you'd expect the Polotacvhenko suggestion (thought to be supported by Mr Putin) provoked a lot of public debate amongst Russians, former Soviet citizens and naturally the fans, non-fans, and "I never was a fan" types of leninism / centralised state socialism / sovietic tyranny - the world over.
I thought to offer readership a quick “Q&A” on the new Putin Mausoleum scheduled for completion in 2012 in which he and 29 other Russian heads of state will enjoy a burial next to 30,000 other normal citizens in Moscow where the average grave costs 150,000.
For the purpose of clarity I present these “Q&A” in order of difficulty; for those who don’t know who Lenin is to those who don’t know what Arlington is.
on the 28th of August, 2005 Georgi Poltavchenko delegate to the central federal district of Russia suggested burying Lenin. That meant putting him in a box, sticking it under ground, and hopefully forgetting about all the mausoleum stuff. Yeltsin had suggested the same thing in July 1999.
As you'd expect the Polotacvhenko suggestion (thought to be supported by Mr Putin) provoked a lot of public debate amongst Russians, former Soviet citizens and naturally the fans, non-fans, and "I never was a fan" types of leninism / centralised state socialism / sovietic tyranny - the world over.
I thought to offer readership a quick “Q&A” on the new Putin Mausoleum scheduled for completion in 2012 in which he and 29 other Russian heads of state will enjoy a burial next to 30,000 other normal citizens in Moscow where the average grave costs 150,000.
For the purpose of clarity I present these “Q&A” in order of difficulty; for those who don’t know who Lenin is to those who don’t know what Arlington is.
Q. First off who was Lenin?
A. easy one that, Lenin was a Kalmyk/Volga germanic / jewish subject of the russian empire born in 1870.
= Ok so he was a russian, they'll pay for his burial.
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Q. Was he a catholic?
A. His maternal grandfather abandoned the jewish faith due to tsarist pogroms making it difficult to sing the psalms and copy the scrolls, and his maternal grandmother abandoned her german lutheran faith to become russian orthodox catholics, and Lenin's mammy baptised him a russian orthodox catholic which is a partner organisation to the catholics.
= Ok so no religious objections to the burial then.
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Q. Where is he now?
A. "answers on a postcard" At present mr Lenin is on permenant display at the "Lenin mausoleum" in Red Square Moscow. His body lies there despite his last wishes that no memorials be created for him. He was lucky, in the 1920s the Russian state bought equipment to cyrogenically suspend him and revive him at some future point. But the "freeze 'em till you need 'em" science was in its early days and they settled for embalmbing fluid instead.
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Q. Has he been at rest?
A. Sticky one that, we do know that the Soviet state took the opportunity of examining his brain tissue and comissioned a german scientist Oskar Vogt (born April 6, 1870 - July 30, 1959) to write a report which published in 1929 claimed that some pyramidal neurons in the third layer of Lenin's cerebral cortex were very large.
Further to that he didn't really do much, oh yes
he oozed goo for a while during the lowest stages of the cold war according to western news sources, but the ruskies insist he's well cared for and gets repainted once a year a dipped in fluid. They've even had a lengthy debate on changing his suit.
But for the most part they're happy they've proved their skills to the world, and since the collapse of soviet communism have been much in demand by mafia bosses.
read about the Mausoleum
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenin%27s_Mausoleum do a virtual tour
http://www.aha.ru/~mausoleu/ _________________________________________
Q. How do I get involved in moving Lenin to another place of rest instead of the new Putin mega-cemetary?
A. easy, write to Mr Poltavchenko
Office of the Presidential Envoy to the Central Federal District,
Staraya pl. 4, R-103132 Moscow, Russia
or call / fax him:-
Tel.: +7 (095) 206-6904
Fax: +7 (095) 206-7273
He's a basketball fan, was Born Feb. 23, 1953 in Baku, Azerbaijan.
He graduated in 1976 from the Leningrad (now St. Petersburg) Institute of Aviation Instrument Manufacturing; and in 1980 graduated from the "Higher Courses" of the KGB where he got the rank of Lieutenant-General. He looks a bit like Boris Johnston accept of course he hasn’t blonde hair, he has a moustache and his lips are altogether more cruel land weasel mean. But unlike most City backers these days, he’s not a Scientologist.
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Arlington the US national war grave:
Q : Is Arlington a very big grave yard?
A : Arlington as the national graveyard of the USA has to be very big even though only people who died in the armed forces or were assassinated whilst holding or running for tippy toppy positions get buried there.
Q: Are they one big display of multi-ethnic diversity and togetherness?
A: Of course they are, afro-Americans used to be buried at the back really far from where the guided tour begins but now you can get buried next to a white person if you died in the cause of Oil, Freedom, Smack or a good News Story next to one.
Q: are all religion and none represented at Arlington?
A: the gravestones carry symbols for all major faith groups and some others. In fact there are now 37 faith and one “non-faith” symbol used. The majority are christian based variations of the cross, Catholics like to see the bloodied body of Jesus hanging there all in pain, whereas Protestants prefer a plain cross to symbolise resurrection. Jews and Muslims of course have the Star of David and Crescent Moon respectively. Mormons and Masonic symbols have long been accepted. The US war veterans department have moved to add a Buddhist wheel, a star with nine points for Baha'i believers and even invented a symbol for atheists which looks somewhat like the Rutherfield diagram of the atom in the last 10 years. How diverse can death get?
Q: But are there Wiccans?
A. Sgt Patrick D. Stewart died September 25th 2005 in Afghanistan while serving the US military in Afghanistan. He was attached to the Nevada national guard and died a good Wiccan pagan when his helicopter crashed. After much ado, his chosen symbol the Pentacle made its first appearance on a US Military grave, but that grave is in Nevada not Arlington. But it was a test case. Some day a Witch of higher rank will die in Iraq (but not Iran please god) and the Pentacle will be carved into Arlington.
Q: Are there any dangerous cult of Scientology symbols in Arlington?
A: People sometimes like to hook up graves to little electronic knickknacks and leave pictures of L Ron Hubbard about the place, but so far no-one has yet convinced the US Veterans association that they really need to consider the cult as a religion.
Links in case you doubt my word -
http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/europe/9907/13/lenin.burial http://www.elperiodico.com/default.asp?idpublicacio_PK=46&idioma=CAS&idnoticia_PK=510961&idseccio_PK=1007&h= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arlington_National_Cemetery 
Comments
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I thought you'd like an illustration.
22.05.2008 14:21
an artist's impression of the new military and top dog graveyard for Moscow 2012
Quite.
Others eschew the pharaonic description and merely say the thing looks "Stalinist". Apparently big solid blocks for war dead are Stalinist. Remember that the next time you stroll pass the Cenotaph.
But nobody, as in no-one as in the Wu Ming has thought to ponder the cost of a decent burial in Moscow. 150,000euros = £103,500. Now as you probably have guessed there are no grants or social assistance programs offered to Moscovites who want a little plot to mourn over. The cost of a burial plot is in fact a reliable though strikingly ironic index of the cost of living worldwide. Most people in Moscow thus don't go through slow butric putrefaction but get ashed instead. Well it could be worse. They could get painted like Lenin or reguarly dug up out of the ground and put on display like the Italian RC saint Padre Pio.
iosaf
let's do a US War Veteran "Agnostic Question Mark? grave marker" campaign
22.05.2008 21:57
US War veterans or their families can choose one of the following list of symbols for their grave at either Arlington or a National armed forces cemetery.
1. Latin Cross - Christian; generic.
2. Wheel of Righteousness - Buddhist.
3. Star of David - Jewish.
Other: Shown on the back of the form are: 4. Presbyterian cross.
5. Russian Orthodox cross.
6. Lutheran cross.
7. Episcopal cross.
8. Flaming chalice: Unitarian Universalist.
9. United Methodist Church cross.
10. Aaronic Order Church.
11. Latter-day Saints: Angel Moroni with horn.
12. Native American Church of America: Teepee with three feathers.
13. Serbian Orthodox: cross.
14. Greek Cross: similar to the Red Cross.
15. Baha'i: 9 pointed star.
16. Atheist: A stylized symbol of an atom with the letter A in the center.
17. Islam: A crescent and star.
18. Hindu symbol.
19. Konko-Kyo faith.
20. Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (now called the Community of Christ): A child between a lion and lamb.
21. Sufism reoriented symbol.
22. Tenrikyo church symbol.
23. Seicho-no-ie symbol.
24. The Church of World Messianity symbol.
25. United Church of Religious Science symbol.
26. Christian Reformed Church: Cross and triangle.
27. United Moravian Church: Lamb carrying flag.
28. Eckankar: Stylized letters "EK"
29: Christian church - generic: A cup.
30: Christian & Missionary Alliance: a cross, chalice, crown and pitcher
31: United Church of Christ: a crown, cross and world symbol
32: Humanism: a stylized image of a human.
33: Presbyterian Church, USA: A flaming cross
34: Ixumo Taishakyo Mission of Hawaii: A hexagon surrounding a symbol
35: Soks Gakkai International - USA: A complex symbol
36: Sikh: The Khanda symbol; three swords and a rink
Listed separately because of copyright restrictions: United Church of Christ.
Christian Science: cross and crown.
Islam: Five pointed star. 4
See?
No L Ron Hubbard. No silly cross which appears in the City of London and no silly symbol which appears in the cult's internal literature.
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But what happens to the agnostics? Surely there are people who die for the cause of US war be it for Oil, Smack, Coke, Fun, a big News Story or "whatever" who are agnostic. They might not want one of the symbols above, and they might not be committed enough to atheism to merit a Rutherfield diagram of the Atom. Why can't they get a ?Question Mark?
" I've no fking idea why I died and no fking idea where I've gone But I don't need blood, oil, smack, coke or opinion poll ratings now."
iosaf = o as if