Surrey Tax Centre
9755 King George Highway
Surrey BC V3T 5E1
Dear N Nothing,
A letter you wrote seems to be confusing me. It is addressed to a person of whom I am not. I am known to others as Dallas Houston and I am a man that was created by God Almighty and not to be identified as DALLAS F HOUSTON a creation of the state as found in vital statistics. So in regards to your letter I assume you would like a response for the state created person DALLAS F HOUSTON.
Well, I have a dilemma with that as then I could be held liable for answering to a matter that belongs to the state of which I have no part. I would suggest that you should really address this matter to the vital statistics office of the state. In their vault is where DALLAS F HOUSTON resides. With that being said I doubt that DALLAS F HOUSTON a name on a piece of paper could walk, talk or fart let alone answer your letter. You see N Nothing if you would like me to respond for the person created by the state I need some assurances first, as I am sure you should understand. If you don't understand that is your problem as ignorance is no excuse and that would belong to you.
I will honor your request providing you accept my terms and conditions for accepting your offer to contract with me, the man, Dallas Houston. You will have to provide me written assurance of indemnification that in the event I, the man, am damaged by any assessment for the person named DALLAS F HOUSTON that I would have access to an insurance policy of, say, about 10,000,000.00 dollars. This should cover any liability for committing fraud by responding on behalf of the name DALLAS F HOUSTON created and owned by the state. Also, since I don’t have permission to use a copyrighted act such as the income tax act I could be held liable for copyright infringement, so you once again would have to indemnify me for any liability in this matter. This would have to be in the form of an insurance policy that states it will cover me to at least a hundred million dollars as I would not wish to be under insured. I am sure you understand what I am saying as if you were in my position you to would want to be cautious also.
Now I have another matter to bring to your attention. I just recently moved to another area in Gods kingdom and I did not bring anything with me except what I needed. I do not have what it is that you requested me to provide. Since your department lost it, don’t you think that’s your problem and you shouldn't expect that I should solve your problems for your department’s incompetence. After all I don’t work for you and I most certainly have never knowingly worked for the person DALLAS F HOUSTON and I see no reason why I should now, do you?
But if you insist that I should honor your request I would consider doing that for you. So here are my terms and conditions for the time that I will spend doing this thing that you would like me to do. I charge 10,000.00 dollars of value, in gold maple leaf form per minute as the gold is substance and so is my time. Once it is given it cannot ever be replaced. My time belongs to my creator God Almighty and that gold will be used to feed the hungry as that is what my Lord has commissioned of me. Also since I am the gold of the creator, my blue ink signature has an unlimited value once given and I would have to have 10,000,000.00 dollars in value of gold for it as it is priceless. This is a one time offer as it is usually quite a bit more.
You can reply to me if you accept my terms and conditions for contracting with you in the next 30 days. If I fail to receive your response I will accept that you have refused and then this matter will be concluded.
May God bless you abundantly, your brother in creation.
Toe print
Dallas Houston