When I was a young boy I became aware that there were these people, known to us today as the elite HAVE MORES, and when I first saw them and became aware of their existence on the throne of the world, it broke my heart and crushed my spirit. Their constant scheming was evident to me right from the very start, as was their cruelty to the poor, which was what made all those cruel schemes neccesary. I swore at that young age that I was going to make my life a living sacrifice, and that somehow I would ruin the power of those people and bring jubiliation to the earth when I did so. My first idea is that I would become an international terrorist, and after a long fight which I would win, I would bring down the HAVE MORES, but in a strange twist of fate when I said some prayers for help in bringing down those HAVE MORES, at Banff National Park, some people came down out of heaven to help me, which brings me to where I am today, all these years later, still working on the same project, and much closer to my goal, a hell of a lot closer really, since the time of the downfall of those HAVE MORES has finally, at long long long last, finally it has arrived. Suddenly, out of nowhere it came to pass, the time had come, and I instantly recognized that fact, bringing me the first joy I have had in so long I can't remember when the last time was.
By the way, you HAVE MORES must know the one about the Earth Day Wing on April 22nd, 2001. That was those people who gave me my Earth Day Wing, since no human can work clouds into a wing, and so I asked up into the heavens for that one. Two days later, these same people showed up in one of their disc shaped crafts and were filmed by the cameras on the space shuttle outside the International Space Station. Unfortunately, because I am after the HAVE MORES, and pursuing them and so on, the HAVE MORES won't let anyone see that amazing tape, but come on now, HAVE MORES, you must have at least had a peek yourselves, didn't you, and if you did, which I am sure you did, then that means that at the very least I can talk to you about heavenly things (even if it might be a problem to talk to you about Holy things, as your conduct which clearly indicate).
Now then let me explain religion to you people, because, given how wicked you are, I don't imagine that you know much about true religion, knowing only no religion I would imagine, or even if you did know a religion it would be the religion of a hypocrit and thus no religion at all.
In order to understand true religion you must first dispose of false religion, such as the religion which supported and voted for Bush, which was the religion which also the religion which then voted for you, since you are the real political base of George Bush, the elite HAVE MORES, and not the religious right types, who are easy to please since they don't really ask for much and therefore those weird things they do wind up asking for you don't have a problem giving to them because let's face it, pestering a fag or praying at school won't cost you a dime, thus making this a religion you can live with, and even encourage. And really it was probably you people, the exclusive HAVE MORES who first invented the corruption of Christianity in the first place, in order to save money, because true religion is really expensive, as you will discover. At the moment however you have the backing of false religion, and the votes of false religion, which many people found remarkable, since by voting for you they voted against themselves, which therefore makes false religion something I think you would want to encourage because you do spend a lot of time and energy trying to get people do that very thing, and in religion, throughout history, there has always been this remarkable tool that made that job of yours so easy, allowing you thousands of trouble free years on the throne. Things however are getting so much tougher for you in the modern world, now that false religion is no more, which is why even with the help of the votes of false religion you were still unable to elect Bush, and without false religion people won't vote for you, thus making it neccesary for you people to become increasingly reckless and daring, stealing elections and so on, because time is running out, and maybe you thought, what the hell, it just might work.
But I will behind the discussion of your well thought out and clever plans, which are currently in the process of backfiring in the most incredible manner (I am amazed at how you have lost your touch, given these collosal failures, since you people are usually a little better at what you do, but such are the consequences of the blindness that comes from arrogance and hubris). For you benefit I thought I would take this opportunity to discuss true religion with you, since given the stupity on display at the present time, I will assume that your blind hubris may once again be leading you into formulating plans, which is alright, provided of course that you really know what you are doing this time (which seems unlikely).
In order to understand true religion you must consider the example of the Capone gang, your highly expensive muscle boys, the enforcement arm of your empire, the Pentagon and you will notice how when the Pentagon attacked true religion the Pentagon was eternally destroyed, and will spend eternity in the illustrious company of such outstanding examples of military oppressors as Atilla the Hun or Adolph, since when you planned that O-I-L war and then when you decided to send the Capone boys to meet the Muslims head on in a JIHAD, you forgot that this was a HOLY WAR, easy for you to do, because in spite of all your remarkable cunning, holiness and thus the concept of a HOLY WAR would have been out of your reach, thus explaining your incredible stupidity, now so richly on display, to remain there on display forever and ever and ever till the end of time, by the way, because you can just never bounce back from something like that, no never, not till the end of time. But such are the wages of wickedness, which have been exposed by the weak and the helpless when they faced down the world's most wicked and powerful oppressor, which would be you, the elite HAVE MORES, since an employer must be responsible for the jobs assigned to an employee. Such a disgraceful display of ruthless oppression, Once done, is done, and the folly not to mention the stench are so odious, and thus memorable, that the smell and the flames of the fire and the burning rise forever and ever, AMEN.
Now I have something similar for you elite HAVE MORES, and since you obviously haven't got a clue about true religion, and thus are prone to reckless stupid and arrogant hubris leading to blindness and then eternally lasting humiliation, I thought I would explain what I have for you, using that handy example of the Holy War in Fallujah. Now the Muslims had JIHAD waiting for you in order to defeat you, which they did. I, being a deeply religious person myself, have something similar, which is called a cross. You will notice that I am carrying it around all over the place, and the reason I am carrying my cross is so that if it should be the case that you would like to nail me to that cross, well then you won't have to go far to find a cross since I brought my own, which will prove to be handy for you, should you decide to go out and get mixed up with another JIHAD any time soon. The second reason I am carrying my cross with me everywhere all the time is because I fully expect I am going to need a cross since I am determined to bring you down into the dust, as I mentioned above, and completely destroy your wealth and your power and purge your influence from the earth, and thus I could need a cross at any time, and thus I plan to keep mine with me until I need it, whenever that may be.
Now I don't know everything, and I just learn as I go along, but I strongly suspect that I won't be needing my cross in the immediate future, since you people are going to be damned busy trying to save money all the entire world in the next while that you probably won't be up for any more JIHADs right at the moment, after that last JIHAD, much to your shocked surprise, wound up costing you a vast fortune. However I will still need my cross with me all the time, because even though that JIHAD turned out to be surprisingly expensive for you, and cost you a vast fortune, you have a vast vast fortune, leaving you with still a vast fortune to lose later on, thus meaning I won't be putting my cross into storage or figuring I won't be needing it anymore, unless the day comes and I am still alive and you people are flat broke.
And it might surprise you to know that I am not alone, and that there are people all over the world who support my cause, the cause of making you people flat broke. So many examples come to mind, since my supporters will be found just about everywhere and anywhere, which is something you might not know, since you don't seem to know much about certain types of things, as your disasters indicate. You did seem to think that your Soviet Media Empire would be able to spin doctor and OIL war and terrorism and massacres, and once again you fail to understand the essential decency of human nature, which is why you might have noticed that your media outlets are getting drowned by outraged angered citizens expressing their utter contempt for that massacre.
So then given how you badly overestimated yourself, not knowing holiness after all, being evil yourself, and you thought a massacre was something you spin doctor the way you spin doctor some political law and so on, well I though I would point out to you that I have great support around the world, since I am not the only one who sees you and doesn't like what he saw. For example you could go to the United Nations and you would find some worker there with the problem of say, terrorism, who would say that you must drain the swamp if you want to get rid of mosquitoes. Poverty and sqallor and oppression cause terrorism, as I know myself, since that poverty made me think of terrorism when I was young, as a career choice, so I know how that works. And of course that poverty is caused by you, as is understood, and so therefore that makes you the swamp which must be drained (in particular your wallet).
Now when you aren't losing money because of that Holy War (not being able to stop losing money because that would mean another JIHAD and that first one was expensive enough, and besides you are over stretched at the moment) well when you aren't losing money in the next while you might want to spend some time plotting against me, coming up with some spin doctoring. I don't know what that would be, I am only certain that whatever it is it won't work thus being of no great concern to me. What is of crucial concern to me is the way the economy is sliding towards disaster, the house is sooner or later going to burn down, which both you and I know, but these people don't, because you wouldn't want them to know about that house fire, now would you, because then they might move out and stop paying rent, and if your house is destined to burn to the ground, well then at least you can keep rooms rented until it does and then your tenants burn in the fire, at which time it won't matter anymore, since there won't be any rent to collect.
Now it has always been obvious that your house was going to burn to the ground. This proves that you showed the same shrewd understanding in designing the economic system as you displayed in plunging into that Holy War in Fallujah, which is spinning out of control, and as I said, is going to cost you a fortune. You see mathematically you cannot have an economy that grows forever and ever, thus making you richer and richer, because then economists would have to start using that figure 9 shaped squiggly thing, the infinity symbol, and we only have one planet. As well you cannot wring the last dime out of the economy and not expect it to collapse, because of lack of dimes, because you have them, and it is also real naughty for you to get George to borrow a few trillion on the countries credit card to give to you so that you could get really super duper rich, and then turn around and cut everyone's budgets and programs, and stick them with the bill on top of it all. Now that was stupid, as you will find out when you ambitiously decide to wade into the fight during the populist campaign and then wonder why none of your brilliant plans are working out for you. Because, after all, they were Macheavellian, and thus should have worked, because of their cunning, but funny how they never did.
Some people have the Stockholm syndrome and thus identify with the terrorists who kidnapped them. Myself I would like to organize, organize, organize, and then there might still be a house to live in, while it turns out that only your house burned down in the fire, and not theirs. That is the way this works, and I just mention this in case you were planning to plot some disingenous propaganda, which would have to involve convincing these people that populism is bad, organizing is no good, and that they should stay living with you in your house, even though its going to burn down. I would think that once again I have the easy job while you, being evil, get stuck with the real hard one, such as that real hard job you took on when you tried to make up stories to hide the fact that war in Iraq was all about O-I-L. Similarly trying to convince people to live with you when your house is going to burn down is a tough one as well which makes being a populist easy in comparison, although I can understand why you might want to spread pessimism or despair or something else in the hopes of making it seem less desirable (even though it is already widely popular right now, and people miss populism, and wish they had some, although they know that there is no way you are going to give them any, but I will, making it more likely that I will get somewhere over the long haul, while you will just keep losing money. Such an ambitious project I think you will find beyond your many excellent talents, but the I guess its true what they say, 'Hope springs eternal.'