Continuing the Jubilee celebrations marking the fact that the Monarch still isn't dead, the Queen will be coming to Nottingham on Wednesday June 13th. She will be joined by Prince Philip (the racist one) and William and Kate (the two who got married). Lucky us.

When  Nottingham City Council set its budget in April, they claimed that, as a result of cuts by central government, they could no longer keep open Marlstones Elderly Person's Home in Bulwell and the Willows Centre in Beechdale. However, with Our Glorious Ruler coming to town, no expense has been spared. It turns out the only pensioner the council cares about isn't even a city resident.

Anybody passing through Market Square recently will have seen the Council House covered in imposing red banners (in a presumably unintentional homage to totalitarian regimes across the world). Council staff have also been at work repointing some of the stonework.

However, the efforts in the city centre pale alongside the days of work which have been going on at Vernon Park in Old Basford where the assorted royals will unveil a plaque. Trees have been trimmed, the grass mown repeatedly, new turf laid, gates replaced, paths swept and new signs put up. With work continuing through Sunday, this is presumably being done on overtime, but is certainly going to limit the workforce available for Nottingham's other parks.

The park is currently closed for two hole day ahead of the visit (it is closed from today and reopens at some point on Wednesday) as marquees are erected, crowd control barriers set-up and a small fun fair prepared.

Not content with taking over our park, the organisers of the even are also closing all the surrounding roads. With the event taking place on Wednesday (13th), local residents were finally informed of what was happening on Friday (8th) when letters from the police and council were distributed.

These revealed that Athorpe Grove, Barlock Road, Blankey Street, Francis Grove, Landsdowne Road, Norburn crescent, Queensberry Street, Roseberry Street, Rydal Grove, Tewkesbury Drive, Vernon Avenue, Vernon Park Drive, Vernon Road and Waterford Street were all being closed from midday Tuesday 12th June. Not only will residents not be able to access those streets, they will also have to remove their cars.

While some (generally the more well-off) will have driveways, many of the houses in the area don't. In practice, this means that anybody who works 'normal' hours will have to find somewhere where to put their car from Tuesday morning (when they go to work) to Wednesday evening (when they return). You might think the council aware of how much disruption this will cause would suggest an alternative, but instead they have just threatened people with a Parking Charge Notice (PCN) if they fail to comply.

Yellow letters in stark bold type were left on people's cars today to hammer home the point.

The letter from the police confirmed in addition that a "thorough search of certain areas in and around the park" would be taking place. As part of this it will, apparently, "be necessary to search the read garden" of people's houses. No power for such a search is mentioned, it is just assumed that residents as loyal subjects will comply unquestioningly.

This of course, is the wider significance of this trip and the Jubilee as a whole, an opportunity to remind people about their correct and proper role in society. This is why the Monarchy needs to be abolished. If we could manage it before Wednesday, that'd be grand.