Reindeer Kidnapped, Snowman held
Santa | 01.01.2012 22:39 | Animal Liberation | Other Press | South Coast | World
The Reindeer Liberation Front (RLF), after many failed attempts to make peaceful negotiations for the safe return of Mr Reindeer, can confirm that Mr Snowman is willingly helping (in return for free healthcare) with the enquiries relating to this awful crime.
22:22 GMT December 31st 2011, No 70 - Out enjoying a fab evening of posh bombs with friends Mr Reindeer was kidnapped. Witnesses described his pitiful cries as he was dragged away. He is believed to be held at a location near the Zoo. The RLF will stop at nothing in order to recover Mr Reindeer and have therefore allocated every available resource to ensure his safe recovery. The RLF has had no alternative but to take Mr Snowman hostage. The action was Swift and Necessary and occurred at 19:47 GMT January 1st 2012. The action was carried out by the RLF's highly skilled SQUAT team.
Mr Snowman was not harmed whatsoever during rigorous interrogation. During an interview with Mr Snowman, it has come to the RLF's attention, the appalling maltreatment inflicted upon Mr snowman by his previous owners at the Zoo including first degree burns to both elbows and knees. We are concerned that a similar fate may await Mr Reindeer.......
Mr Snowman was not harmed whatsoever during rigorous interrogation. During an interview with Mr Snowman, it has come to the RLF's attention, the appalling maltreatment inflicted upon Mr snowman by his previous owners at the Zoo including first degree burns to both elbows and knees. We are concerned that a similar fate may await Mr Reindeer.......
Santa
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