Heard the one about Jeremy Clarkson?
The Real Context | 04.12.2011 17:01 | Occupy Everywhere | Public sector cuts | Repression | Workers' Movements
General Pinochet's visiting Britain to spend time with his old friend Margaret Thatcher in Dulwich, but he hears some lefties might have secured an extradition warrant for him, so his minders hire a car and they make a weekend of it, hiding-out in a cheap hotel in Manchester, in the hopes that things might quiet down a bit. After a few days of test-cards, the shopping channel, and Pinochet watching his bodyguards polish his boots for him (while he's wearing them), Pinochet gets bored and decides to check out the Embassy Club round the corner on the Rochdale Road. Pinochet walks in, orders some pork scratchings and a Bloody Mary, and strikes up a conversation with the Embassy's owner, the comedian Bernard Manning, who pops in once in a while to see if the day manager's hired any decent crumpet. After a couple of drinks they're getting on famously, reminiscing about the good old days when holidays in Greece and Spain really were fun - in the late 1960s, and when the BBC didn't give a shit about broadcasting racist jokes and showing xenophobic bollocks like The Black and White Minstrel Show, when Pinochet spies a weird-looking slot machine over in the corner. The General fancies a punt, but Manning tells Pinochet the delivery driver was a bit soft and dropped-off the wrong consignment. It's not a fruit machine but some sort of teleportation device left over from some arty Sci-Fi movie, called "The Fly" or something. Anyway, they're so spannered they reckon it's got to be good for a laugh. They squeeze into the machine's teleportation compartment, sit down and tell the bar-staff to close the doors behind and then press the red button. There's a huge bang, a weird buzzing noise, a fucking great bolt of lightning ripples up and down the sides of of the machine, and then "Bing!" - the same sound you get when your pot noodle's microwaved, the door flies open, and out steps...
Put it this way, I don't think even General Pinochet advocated murdering striking public sector workers IN FRONT OF THEIR FAMILIES. Keep up the pressure -
https://stakeholders.ofcom.org.uk/tell-us/specific-programme-epg
https://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints/forms/#anchor
Put it this way, I don't think even General Pinochet advocated murdering striking public sector workers IN FRONT OF THEIR FAMILIES. Keep up the pressure -
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The Real Context
Comments
Hide the following 26 comments
Hands up who thinks Jeremy Clarkson's funny
04.12.2011 17:06
Context
VG
04.12.2011 17:28
Tony
Sense of humour bypass
04.12.2011 17:35
Suddenly, you start believe that he actually DOES want to see strikers shot in front of their families.
Really?!
You actually believe he means what he said?
You really believe that?
I think you need to get out more
dave
Free sketch
04.12.2011 17:38
Drew
Jeremy Clarkson - a God amongst insects
04.12.2011 17:48
Text
A missed comment
04.12.2011 18:21
When asked if any of his friends were on strike, he had a look of utter contempt on his face as he stated "I wouldn't have any public sector worker friends".
I found this far more insulting than his attempted joke.
Dave
Lars von Trier, another gutless scumbag
04.12.2011 18:34
Lars Von Trier's expensively-filmed but vacuous Melancholia has just been awarded the Leni Reifenstahl Award for Best Movie at the European Film Awards in BERLIN (I was only joking about the Leni Reifenstahl bit - incredibly the rest of that statement is true).
Lars Von Trier heroically braved potential protests by Berlin Anti-Fascists and Mossad hit-squads etc, by... sending his wife Bente Froge to pick-up the paperweight on his behalf. What a gent!
Lt Aldo Raine
Mark Thomas
04.12.2011 18:44
Bill
Daily Mail insists Clarkson DID NOT APOLOGISE
04.12.2011 20:25
> New fury as £1m-a-year presenter says 'let foxy woxy eat the gooey parts' of rail suicide victims
> He denies that he apologised for saying strikers 'should be shot'
> BBC insiders are concerned about his state of mind and fear marriage is finally over
Dan
Daily Mail admits Clarkson's an "utter coward"
04.12.2011 20:27
"Clarkson is an arrogant petrolhead who... drives a big car to make up for the smallness of his mind. And other parts of his anatomy. Tribes of Clarksons are to be found in the Home Counties boorishly reinforcing each other’s dull prejudices. They live in a time warp, dressing as if it were still the 70s, idolising the politics of the 80s, while bemused by the 90s when political correctness went so mad that being overtly racist, sexist and homophobic was no longer considered the epitome of charm."
"They consider themselves to be daringly outspoken, though the actual Clarkson is a pillar of the establishment who hangs out with the Prime Minister and that Blur twit Alex James... These are 'the intelligentsia' of Chipping Norton. Remind me never to go there."
"Although I didn’t find his remarks about shooting public sector workers hysterical, I wasn’t incensed by them. Was he literally inciting violence? Or was this daft attention-seeking to flog DVDs? I found myself defending his freedom to say things I don’t like, even though I’m not sure a man who issues super-injunctions is any defender of free speech... Clarkson, who may possibly acknowledge that it was public sector workers who saved the life of his mini-me mate Richard Hammond, was hardly going to come out in support of the strike."
"Those of us who watched the clip could see, as with all 'comedy', that it was a question of taste and context. I like edge. This is not satire, it is cheap and nasty bullying. And in a new attack yesterday, he picked on those who really cannot answer back: people who have taken their own lives. But edginess comes from challenging power, not prostrating oneself before everyday ignorance."
"But I actually find it desperate. First you pick on women, gays, foreigners and anyone different. Now you end up insulting the dead. This is not an act of outspoken bravery but utter cowardice. Is David Cameron still chuckling at his silly mate? This is not comedy. It is highly paid sociopathy – cruel, heartless and pointless."
Dan
We have all been lied to by the BBC
04.12.2011 20:51
Benchmark
so what are you all going to do about it?
04.12.2011 21:16
taylor
Mirror confirms Clarkson did NOT apologise
04.12.2011 21:25
Mark
So what am I going to do about it?
04.12.2011 21:32
Andy Wilman
@Andy Wilman
04.12.2011 22:30
taylor
Context?
05.12.2011 00:24
Can dig Thatcher's heart out an burn it take a picture and put it on the internet..oh yeah can't do that she's still alive
Anarchoneilist
@taylor
05.12.2011 01:16
And speaking of bigoted hacks, Garry Bushell thought he was a big shot when he was a major entertainment correspondent for The Sun, now he's pretending to be "semi-retired", playing occasional pub gigs with his dreary rock band - Bushell can't admit the reason he's not working is because even the right-wing tabloids now regard his views as a liability and as an embarrassment
Andy
I must say I agree with him about the suicides though
05.12.2011 10:06
anon
Lars von Trier isn't a neo-Nazi
05.12.2011 10:37
It seems to stem from the fact that his mother told him on her deathbed that the man he thought was his father (from a Jewish background) wasn't his father. His biological father was actually German, so he had a bit of an identity crisis.
You only have to look at his grovelling apologies to realise it was just a joke that got blown out of proportion.
anon
31,000 complain about Jeremy Clarkson
05.12.2011 14:08
Dinah
Suicides
05.12.2011 14:11
Blue
Ofcom to investigate Clarkson...
20.12.2011 21:14
Dean
New Clarkson racism
02.01.2012 13:17
Complain to -
Complain to -
Laces
Jeremy Clarkson posing with EDL leader Stephen Lennon
10.01.2012 00:42
Phil
Clarkson + EDL
10.01.2012 00:59
Phil
Morality of the BBC
10.12.2012 14:36
Updated