Heard the one about Jeremy Clarkson?

General Pinochet

Plus Bernard Manning

in a DNA-mixing teleportation machine, produces...

Don't complain Jez

We're "only" joking

General Pinochet's visiting Britain to spend time with his old friend Margaret Thatcher in Dulwich, but he hears some lefties might have secured an extradition warrant for him, so his minders hire a car and they make a weekend of it, hiding-out in a cheap hotel in Manchester, in the hopes that things might quiet down a bit. After a few days of test-cards, the shopping channel, and Pinochet watching his bodyguards polish his boots for him (while he's wearing them), Pinochet gets bored and decides to check out the Embassy Club round the corner on the Rochdale Road. Pinochet walks in, orders some pork scratchings and a Bloody Mary, and strikes up a conversation with the Embassy's owner, the comedian Bernard Manning, who pops in once in a while to see if the day manager's hired any decent crumpet. After a couple of drinks they're getting on famously, reminiscing about the good old days when holidays in Greece and Spain really were fun - in the late 1960s, and when the BBC didn't give a shit about broadcasting racist jokes and showing xenophobic bollocks like The Black and White Minstrel Show, when Pinochet spies a weird-looking slot machine over in the corner. The General fancies a punt, but Manning tells Pinochet the delivery driver was a bit soft and dropped-off the wrong consignment. It's not a fruit machine but some sort of teleportation device left over from some arty Sci-Fi movie, called "The Fly" or something. Anyway, they're so spannered they reckon it's got to be good for a laugh. They squeeze into the machine's teleportation compartment, sit down and tell the bar-staff to close the doors behind and then press the red button. There's a huge bang, a weird buzzing noise, a fucking great bolt of lightning ripples up and down the sides of of the machine, and then "Bing!" - the same sound you get when your pot noodle's microwaved, the door flies open, and out steps...

Put it this way, I don't think even General Pinochet advocated murdering striking public sector workers IN FRONT OF THEIR FAMILIES. Keep up the pressure -

https://stakeholders.ofcom.org.uk/tell-us/specific-programme-epg

https://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints/forms/#anchor

The Real Context

Comments

Hide the following 26 comments

Hands up who thinks Jeremy Clarkson's funny

04.12.2011 17:06

Hands up who thinks Jeremy Clarkson's funny

Context

VG

04.12.2011 17:28

Tony

Sense of humour bypass

04.12.2011 17:35

Jeremy tells a lot of jokes. Its his job.
Suddenly, you start believe that he actually DOES want to see strikers shot in front of their families.

Really?!

You actually believe he means what he said?
You really believe that?

I think you need to get out more

dave

Free sketch

04.12.2011 17:38

Can anyone post-up Mark Thomas's e-mail address?

Drew

Jeremy Clarkson - a God amongst insects

04.12.2011 17:48

Listen "Dave", I'll trade you my sense of humour bypass for your emotional intelligence bypass. I don't believe for a minute that Jeremy Clarkson would ever seriously believe that... no, scrub that... that Jeremy Clarkson would ever find to courage to physically take on public sector workers himself (leading from the rear and all that). What I do believe is that Jeremy Clarkson is so naive, arrogant, cynical and insensitive that he doesn't even care about the offence his "jokes" cause to people who've been victims of this kind of violence, and that he couldn't care less what impact his statements might have on the beliefs and actions of right-wing extremists. So, in response, I post on Indymedia giving Clarkson as good as he got, and then YOU choose to respond, apparently blind to the irony of Clarkson's apologists (like you) not having the sense of "humour" required to take exactly what it was their hero dished out himself! Get a life..........

Text

A missed comment

04.12.2011 18:21

With the focus on JC's 'shooting joke', I think one of the most offensive things he did has been overlooked.

When asked if any of his friends were on strike, he had a look of utter contempt on his face as he stated "I wouldn't have any public sector worker friends".

I found this far more insulting than his attempted joke.

Dave

Lars von Trier, another gutless scumbag

04.12.2011 18:34

Speaking of comedians, speaking of leading from the rear, and speaking of the increasing Nazification of modern European culture, Lars "I am a Nazi" Von Trier was also of course "only joking".

Lars Von Trier's expensively-filmed but vacuous Melancholia has just been awarded the Leni Reifenstahl Award for Best Movie at the European Film Awards in BERLIN (I was only joking about the Leni Reifenstahl bit - incredibly the rest of that statement is true).

Lars Von Trier heroically braved potential protests by Berlin Anti-Fascists and Mossad hit-squads etc, by... sending his wife Bente Froge to pick-up the paperweight on his behalf. What a gent!

Lt Aldo Raine

Mark Thomas

04.12.2011 18:44

Although I'm sure he's on the case :-)

http://www.markthomasinfo.co.uk/section_contact/

Bill

Daily Mail insists Clarkson DID NOT APOLOGISE

04.12.2011 20:25

Daily Mail insists Clarkson DID NOT APOLOGISE and says he's now losing his mind

> New fury as £1m-a-year presenter says 'let foxy woxy eat the gooey parts' of rail suicide victims
> He denies that he apologised for saying strikers 'should be shot'
> BBC insiders are concerned about his state of mind and fear marriage is finally over

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2069679/Jeremy-Clarkson-vulnerable-state-judgment-just-isnt-A-grade-right-now.html

Dan

Daily Mail admits Clarkson's an "utter coward"

04.12.2011 20:27

I wouldn't expect a hard-right newspaper like The Daily Mail to agree with someone like me on this, but when even the Mail is disgusted by Clarkson's cowardice, hypocrisy, and double-standards, it puts some of the trolls who've been defending him into perspective. To quote from The Daily Mail -

"Clarkson is an arrogant petrolhead who... drives a big car to make up for the smallness of his mind. And other parts of his anatomy. Tribes of Clarksons are to be found in the Home Counties boorishly reinforcing each other’s dull prejudices. They live in a time warp, dressing as if it were still the 70s, idolising the politics of the 80s, while bemused by the 90s when political correctness went so mad that being overtly racist, sexist and homophobic was no longer considered the epitome of charm."

"They consider themselves to be daringly outspoken, though the actual Clarkson is a pillar of the establishment who hangs out with the Prime Minister and that Blur twit Alex James... These are 'the intelligentsia' of Chipping Norton. Remind me never to go there."

"Although I didn’t find his remarks about shooting public sector workers hysterical, I wasn’t incensed by them. Was he literally inciting violence? Or was this daft attention-seeking to flog DVDs? I found myself defending his freedom to say things I don’t like, even though I’m not sure a man who issues super-injunctions is any defender of free speech... Clarkson, who may possibly acknowledge that it was public sector workers who saved the life of his mini-me mate Richard Hammond, was hardly going to come out in support of the strike."

"Those of us who watched the clip could see, as with all 'comedy', that it was a question of taste and context. I like edge. This is not satire, it is cheap and nasty bullying. And in a new attack yesterday, he picked on those who really cannot answer back: people who have taken their own lives. But edginess comes from challenging power, not prostrating oneself before everyday ignorance."

"But I actually find it desperate. First you pick on women, gays, foreigners and anyone different. Now you end up insulting the dead. This is not an act of outspoken bravery but utter cowardice. Is David Cameron still chuckling at his silly mate? This is not comedy. It is highly paid sociopathy – cruel, heartless and pointless."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2069632/Jeremy-Clarkson-just-cruel-bully-utter-coward.html

Dan

We have all been lied to by the BBC

04.12.2011 20:51

See above

Benchmark

so what are you all going to do about it?

04.12.2011 21:16

except pat each other on the back about how clever you are?

taylor

Mirror confirms Clarkson did NOT apologise

04.12.2011 21:25

http://www.theweek.co.uk/uk-news/clarkson-row/43262/clarkson-let-foxes-eat-bodies-suicide-victims

Mark

So what am I going to do about it?

04.12.2011 21:32

Keep on campaigning 24/7

Andy Wilman

@Andy Wilman

04.12.2011 22:30

Until you get bored of it and move onto the next thing to campaign about (about 1 week)

taylor

Context?

05.12.2011 00:24

While we choose to ignore this scumbag or get our collective knickers in a twist there was the rather strange comment in the Sunday Times along the lines of "it's OK to subdue/eliminate a wide (but anonymous?) particular group but it's totalitarian (commentator's exact phrasing) to criticise a particular individual for attacking said minority, because the unions, minorities, gays, gippos, homos etc are bully boys too powerful not everyman white van drivers you get the fecking picture"

Can dig Thatcher's heart out an burn it take a picture and put it on the internet..oh yeah can't do that she's still alive

Anarchoneilist

@taylor

05.12.2011 01:16

If you say so me old chum... but what you don't seem to realise is, even if we do prioritise other issues when more important things come up (which happens all the time), controversies like this can spring back to life, without warning, at a moment's notice, sometimes years, even decades, after the initial incident

And speaking of bigoted hacks, Garry Bushell thought he was a big shot when he was a major entertainment correspondent for The Sun, now he's pretending to be "semi-retired", playing occasional pub gigs with his dreary rock band - Bushell can't admit the reason he's not working is because even the right-wing tabloids now regard his views as a liability and as an embarrassment

Andy

I must say I agree with him about the suicides though

05.12.2011 10:06

I know people who jump in front of trains aren't thinking straight and need help (ironically from the public sector workers that Jeremy want to be shot), but it is very selfish to kill yourself in a way that will fuck up other people's lives. e.g. train drivers or emergency services who have to scrape people up off the floor. Not to mention your relatives. You might call it being passive aggressive. If you think life is shit and you want to kill yourself, fair enough, but at least have the decency to minimise the suffering your cause other people.

anon

Lars von Trier isn't a neo-Nazi

05.12.2011 10:37

He likes saying things for shock value and making crass jokes but he isn't a neo-Nazi.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lars_von_Trier

It seems to stem from the fact that his mother told him on her deathbed that the man he thought was his father (from a Jewish background) wasn't his father. His biological father was actually German, so he had a bit of an identity crisis.

You only have to look at his grovelling apologies to realise it was just a joke that got blown out of proportion.

anon

31,000 complain about Jeremy Clarkson

05.12.2011 14:08

Despite saying "I am a Nazi", maybe Lars von Trier isn't actually a Nazi, but, much like Jeremy Clarkson, he is an emotionally retarded, insensitive, socially and politically dangerous fucking idiot. Obviously something to be proud of! As well as not actually being funny. Anyway, the BBC have just confirmed that complaints against Jezza the Homicidal have just topped 31,000 - finally Jeremy Clarkson earns his place in the history books, and he's repeated his denial that he ever apologised for saying we should be shot, which means the BBC are definitely lying -

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2070114/Jeremy-Clarkson-vulnerable-state-judgment-just-isnt-A-grade-right-now.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/dec/05/jeremy-clarkson-one-show-complaints

Dinah

Suicides

05.12.2011 14:11

I think what people were objecting to was Clarkson saying their remains should be eaten by foxes

Blue

Ofcom to investigate Clarkson...

20.12.2011 21:14

... for being a skip-rat

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/tv-radio/ofcom-investigates-jeremy-clarksons-strike-jibe-6279304.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8965858/Jeremy-Clarkson-Ofcom-launches-inquiry-over-Top-Gear-hosts-execute-rant.html

Dean

New Clarkson racism

02.01.2012 13:17

http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2011/12/30/jeremy-clarkson-accused-of-racism-over-india-jibes-on-top-gear-christmas-special-115875-23668351/

Complain to -

https://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints/forms/#anchor

Complain to -

https://stakeholders.ofcom.org.uk/tell-us/specific-programme-epg

Laces

Jeremy Clarkson posing with EDL leader Stephen Lennon

10.01.2012 00:42

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/view/229019/CLARKSON-NEW-RACE-ROW/

Phil

Clarkson + EDL

10.01.2012 00:59

Phil

Morality of the BBC

10.12.2012 14:36

Revisiting this thread after some time, and re-viewing this all from the perspective of late 2012, I've got 2 words to say about the morality of the BBC - Jimmy Savile

Updated