Lock up your rightwing teens, mummies and daddies of metropolitan England, as the EDL Nonce Division take to the coaches to stalk the organisation's latest members.

Giving Goole party member Martyn Gilleard, and the BNP's former "youth leader" Mark Collett a run for their money, the family-friendly far right organisation are preying on racist teenagers brought up to hate people with different religions and skin-colours, so extreme rightwing parents are advised to keep their young fuhrers safely at home whenever the EDL are organising a pogrom.

Not all EDL kiddiefiddlers will be wearing tell-tale t-shirts, although some can be found making up the sex offenders register. Unlike bona-fide youth clubs, after-school clubs and scout gatherings, despite all claims of "working with the police", and allegations of "police grassing", EDL organisers are guaranteed to be non-CRB checked, meaning it is impossible to tell strightarmed Hitler-worshippers and child abusers apart, meaning a potential nightmare for the average Skrewdriver-infatuated EDL parent, persuading their kids to learn the ropes of fascist street-fighting.

Once underage EDL Youth are goosestepping freely down high streets swigging cans of Carling lager and special brew like true neo-nazis, nobody will be keeping an eye on them as they shout hate slogans at Asian passers-by. EDL Nonce Division members scattered throughout a march, young racists cannot even be sure that even the most macho swastika-tattooed "British Freedom Fighter" (Pinkham, Wigan Mike etc), isn't involved with the EDL for one reason, and one reason alone.

Fascist parents are also advised to delete EDL Facebook friends, as you just don't know the difference between a genuine EDL national socialist and a pervert wannabe. Indeed, kids are not even guaranteed to be safe from being touched-up when mingling freely with the EDL's leadership, as perverts like Richard Price (pictured) are openly defended following the EDL's "Noncegate trial".

While the assembled racists, fascists and hardcore neo-nazis of the so-called "Defence Leagues" are strutting through multicultural areas, protesting against Halal meat by pulling out their "pork sticks" to urinate on facets of British heritage including historic castles and Christian cathedrals, the EDL's Nonce Division will be stood their fantasising at young passers-by while peeing against the wall, chanting "Allah Is A Paedo".

Check the following links to discover the lowdown on EDL child abuse:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhZqBxy4tRg

EDL Members boast about child abuse (including armed forces members, MOD if you're watching!)

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TO6y_sDyYo

Seik Heil and Sleep Tight, EDL Parents!