Burying Lenin, Putin, Yeltsin, Stalin etc. - a Q&A
iosaf .:. ipsiphi | 21.05.2008 21:01 | Anti-militarism | History | World
on the 28th of August, 2005 Georgi Poltavchenko delegate to the central federal district of Russia suggested burying Lenin. That meant putting him in a box, sticking it under ground, and hopefully forgetting about all the mausoleum stuff. Yeltsin had suggested the same thing in July 1999.
As you'd expect the Polotacvhenko suggestion (thought to be supported by Mr Putin) provoked a lot of public debate amongst Russians, former Soviet citizens and naturally the fans, non-fans, and "I never was a fan" types of leninism / centralised state socialism / sovietic tyranny - the world over.
I thought to offer readership a quick “Q&A” on the new Putin Mausoleum scheduled for completion in 2012 in which he and 29 other Russian heads of state will enjoy a burial next to 30,000 other normal citizens in Moscow where the average grave costs 150,000.
For the purpose of clarity I present these “Q&A” in order of difficulty; for those who don’t know who Lenin is to those who don’t know what Arlington is.
Q. First off who was Lenin?
A. easy one that, Lenin was a Kalmyk/Volga germanic / jewish subject of the russian empire born in 1870.
= Ok so he was a russian, they'll pay for his burial.
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Q. Was he a catholic?
A. His maternal grandfather abandoned the jewish faith due to tsarist pogroms making it difficult to sing the psalms and copy the scrolls, and his maternal grandmother abandoned her german lutheran faith to become russian orthodox catholics, and Lenin's mammy baptised him a russian orthodox catholic which is a partner organisation to the catholics.
= Ok so no religious objections to the burial then.
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Q. Where is he now?
A. "answers on a postcard" At present mr Lenin is on permenant display at the "Lenin mausoleum" in Red Square Moscow. His body lies there despite his last wishes that no memorials be created for him. He was lucky, in the 1920s the Russian state bought equipment to cyrogenically suspend him and revive him at some future point. But the "freeze 'em till you need 'em" science was in its early days and they settled for embalmbing fluid instead.
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Q. Has he been at rest?
A. Sticky one that, we do know that the Soviet state took the opportunity of examining his brain tissue and comissioned a german scientist Oskar Vogt (born April 6, 1870 - July 30, 1959) to write a report which published in 1929 claimed that some pyramidal neurons in the third layer of Lenin's cerebral cortex were very large.
Further to that he didn't really do much, oh yes
he oozed goo for a while during the lowest stages of the cold war according to western news sources, but the ruskies insist he's well cared for and gets repainted once a year a dipped in fluid. They've even had a lengthy debate on changing his suit.
But for the most part they're happy they've proved their skills to the world, and since the collapse of soviet communism have been much in demand by mafia bosses.
read about the Mausoleum
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do a virtual tour
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Q. How do I get involved in moving Lenin to another place of rest instead of the new Putin mega-cemetary?
A. easy, write to Mr Poltavchenko
Office of the Presidential Envoy to the Central Federal District,
Staraya pl. 4, R-103132 Moscow, Russia
or call / fax him:-
Tel.: +7 (095) 206-6904
Fax: +7 (095) 206-7273
He's a basketball fan, was Born Feb. 23, 1953 in Baku, Azerbaijan.
He graduated in 1976 from the Leningrad (now St. Petersburg) Institute of Aviation Instrument Manufacturing; and in 1980 graduated from the "Higher Courses" of the KGB where he got the rank of Lieutenant-General. He looks a bit like Boris Johnston accept of course he hasn’t blonde hair, he has a moustache and his lips are altogether more cruel land weasel mean. But unlike most City backers these days, he’s not a Scientologist.
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Arlington the US national war grave:
Q : Is Arlington a very big grave yard?
A : Arlington as the national graveyard of the USA has to be very big even though only people who died in the armed forces or were assassinated whilst holding or running for tippy toppy positions get buried there.
Q: Are they one big display of multi-ethnic diversity and togetherness?
A: Of course they are, afro-Americans used to be buried at the back really far from where the guided tour begins but now you can get buried next to a white person if you died in the cause of Oil, Freedom, Smack or a good News Story next to one.
Q: are all religion and none represented at Arlington?
A: the gravestones carry symbols for all major faith groups and some others. In fact there are now 37 faith and one “non-faith” symbol used. The majority are christian based variations of the cross, Catholics like to see the bloodied body of Jesus hanging there all in pain, whereas Protestants prefer a plain cross to symbolise resurrection. Jews and Muslims of course have the Star of David and Crescent Moon respectively. Mormons and Masonic symbols have long been accepted. The US war veterans department have moved to add a Buddhist wheel, a star with nine points for Baha'i believers and even invented a symbol for atheists which looks somewhat like the Rutherfield diagram of the atom in the last 10 years. How diverse can death get?
Q: But are there Wiccans?
A. Sgt Patrick D. Stewart died September 25th 2005 in Afghanistan while serving the US military in Afghanistan. He was attached to the Nevada national guard and died a good Wiccan pagan when his helicopter crashed. After much ado, his chosen symbol the Pentacle made its first appearance on a US Military grave, but that grave is in Nevada not Arlington. But it was a test case. Some day a Witch of higher rank will die in Iraq (but not Iran please god) and the Pentacle will be carved into Arlington.
Q: Are there any dangerous cult of Scientology symbols in Arlington?
A: People sometimes like to hook up graves to little electronic knickknacks and leave pictures of L Ron Hubbard about the place, but so far no-one has yet convinced the US Veterans association that they really need to consider the cult as a religion.
Links in case you doubt my word -
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iosaf .:. ipsiphi
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