I overheard 2 men in a shed discussing a plot to smuggle enriched uranium inside Cornish pasties into the UK via the Gower peninsula
I strongly advised that roadblocks be set up on the Severn bridge and people be forced to take a bite out of any pasties they may have to prove they were not terrorists
The bbc refused to make it the main news story and look into Cornish pasty recipies while more or less forgetting about lebanon
The government refused to create a new level of threat above critical even when I suggested they find a word more immediate than imminent to explain it

samizdat