Injunction Papers Served
Angry Anderson | 01.04.2006 21:31 | Animal Liberation | Anti-militarism | Indymedia
The Lobster Marketing Board have served injunction papers for an injunction against the Lobster Liberation Front and Animal Liberation Front. An outrageous witness statement has been signed by a Mr John Shell. The witness statement alleges that if left to their own devices the Animal Liberation Front will destroy the world as we know it. The justification? The film 28 Days Later. Relevant parts of the film have been transcribed as appendices to the witness statements and also included are copies of the films. A quote from the witness statement is as follows:
"In the feature film 28 Days Later, A cell of the Animal Liberation Front (ALF) attempted to liberate a monkey from a primate research laboratory. The consequence of this action was anarchy, chaos, disease and the destruction of the modern way of life as we know it. Although this is a fictional film this film is widely acknowledged as being well researched and accurate in its portrayal of the ALF. What can be deduced from this accurate portrayal of the ALF is that they are anarchist trouble makers who are a danger to humanity and civilised society. This is one of the reasons why we need protection from them."
A leading human rights barrister said they couldn't comment until they have been paid to see the film.
A spokesman for the High Court stated that there were no plans to bring in popcorn for the hearing, he also dismissed rumours that the hearing would be hijacked by corporate interests.
The hearing will take place on Monday at the Warner Bros High Court, London.
The Lobster Marketing Board released a press statement in which their spokesman Reginald Sharpe –Claw stated
“An attack on a lobster pot is an attack on us all. These mindless hooligans need to be stopped. Boil them all alive that’s what I say.” When pressed on the legitimate democratic rights of protestors he went on to say,
“We may have teamed up with The Body Shop. For every five pounds that is spent protestors will be given a voucher. 5 vouchers means they can turn up and protest 100 meters away and 10 vouchers enables them to use a megaphone as well. Anyone who collects 100 vouchers will be allowed to dress as a lobster, storm a board meeting, shout at us through a megaphone and be allowed to escape before the police arrive. What could be fairer then that?”
No lobsters were available for comment.
"In the feature film 28 Days Later, A cell of the Animal Liberation Front (ALF) attempted to liberate a monkey from a primate research laboratory. The consequence of this action was anarchy, chaos, disease and the destruction of the modern way of life as we know it. Although this is a fictional film this film is widely acknowledged as being well researched and accurate in its portrayal of the ALF. What can be deduced from this accurate portrayal of the ALF is that they are anarchist trouble makers who are a danger to humanity and civilised society. This is one of the reasons why we need protection from them."
A leading human rights barrister said they couldn't comment until they have been paid to see the film.
A spokesman for the High Court stated that there were no plans to bring in popcorn for the hearing, he also dismissed rumours that the hearing would be hijacked by corporate interests.
The hearing will take place on Monday at the Warner Bros High Court, London.
The Lobster Marketing Board released a press statement in which their spokesman Reginald Sharpe –Claw stated
“An attack on a lobster pot is an attack on us all. These mindless hooligans need to be stopped. Boil them all alive that’s what I say.” When pressed on the legitimate democratic rights of protestors he went on to say,
“We may have teamed up with The Body Shop. For every five pounds that is spent protestors will be given a voucher. 5 vouchers means they can turn up and protest 100 meters away and 10 vouchers enables them to use a megaphone as well. Anyone who collects 100 vouchers will be allowed to dress as a lobster, storm a board meeting, shout at us through a megaphone and be allowed to escape before the police arrive. What could be fairer then that?”
No lobsters were available for comment.
Angry Anderson
