Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with
water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because
some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.
With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His
medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought
to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his
employer's medical Plan because some liberal union workers fought their
employers for paid medical insurance now Joe gets it too. He prepares his
morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat
because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat
packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo.
His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount
in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his
right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath.
The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko
liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our
air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to
work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees
because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public
transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy
liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer
doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job
or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or
unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should
lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so
he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the
FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from
unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great
Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market
federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government
would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at
his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is
among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal
fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood
home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by
Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make
rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck
his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe
wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and
conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have
fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our
lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves
just like I have."