You'll never take
me alive, copper

IT’S a fair cop, guv. You’ve got me bang to rights. I’ll come quietly.

Is that how I am supposed to react to the news that the Gay Police Association is trying to get me arrested for “hate crimes”?

They want a formal investigation into my column two weeks ago, headlined “Just A Little Light Spanking, Sarge”.

You may remember I enquired, only partly in jest, why police officers should be required to declare their sexual orientation to ensure that 10 per cent of all recruits are gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Why not foot fetishists, rubber enthusiasts and gerbil fanciers, too?

I also congratulated Inspector Paul Cahill, of the GPA, on his MBE.

But I wondered what it was which marked him out for a gong among hundreds of other dedicated police inspectors, other than his predilection for same-sex sex.

It’s a legitimate question.

But according to Inspector Cahill, that puts me right up there with the Soho nail-bomber. He accuses me of not only stirring up hatred against gay police officers but the gay community as a whole.

The GPA has also reported me to the Commission for Racial Equality — though what’s it’s got to do with race is beyond me.

And Cahill is making threatening noises about getting my Sky TV show “reconsidered”, whatever that means.

No doubt emboldened by Robert Kilroy-Silk’s scalp, the Thought Police have got me in their sights next.

Fortunately, there are still a few people at Scotland Yard with a sense of perspective and proportion and I’m told that there are no plans, as yet, to start a criminal investigation against me.

Shame, really. Free The Wapping One has a nice ring to it.

But that’s not the point. It’s disturbing that a man who can’t distinguish between someone gently taking the mickey in a newspaper column and a nutter planting a nail bomb in a crowded central London pub has risen to the rank of inspector, let alone been honoured by Her Maj.

It’s outrageous that there even exists a Gay Police Association, or a Black Police Association, for that matter.

The Met has spent years trying to stamp out traditional Freemasonry in the ranks, only to find it replaced with a new freemasonry based on sexual preference and race.

Try starting a White Police Association or a Sadomasochists’ Police Association and see how far you get.

No one should be discriminated against on the grounds of sex or race.

But the GPA and BPA have become vehicles for careerists, malcontents and chancers. They exist not simply to combat discrimination but to garner favours, advancement and special treatment.

And to exploit a culture of victimhood for hard cash in the shape of compensation payouts.

I predicted at the time that my observations would inevitably be met with cries of “homophobia” — a ludicrous term of abuse aimed at anyone who has the audacity to disagree with any aspect of homosexual behaviour. I didn’t anticipate such a sense of humour failure that someone in the police force would try to have my collar felt.

For the record — not that I’m sure Inspector Cahill cares — in this column I have argued in favour of gay marriage contracts; equal treatment for gay partners in areas such as housing, health, employment and pensions; and defended the rights of gay men to nail each other to coffee tables behind closed doors, if that’s how they get their rocks off.


Fair cop ... article in Sun


I’ve had no end of gay activists on my Sky TV show. Only last week I found myself agreeing with the homosexual peer Waheed Ali that in certain circ**stances I could see the case for allowing gay couples to adopt children, rather than condemn them to a dreadful life of abuse in council care homes.

But because I poked fun at gay cops in pursuit of a serious point, I am condemned as no better than a mass murderer and threatened with prosecution.

There is a much bigger picture here, though. This is all symptomatic of a broader, concerted assault on our freedoms.

The Gay Police Association is part of a wider coalition determined to force a ruthless Left-wing world view on the rest of us and suppress all dissent.

The Guardian is currently trying to drum up an action against the Editor of The Sun for advising Sarah Payne’s killer Roy Whiting to take a leaf out of the Dr Shipman song book and top himself in prison. Even the Home Secretary quipped that he’d fancied opening a bottle when he heard of Shipman’s suicide. Does The Guardian want David Blunkett prosecuted, too?

A pensioner found himself in the dock for holding up a poster protesting about homosexuality and immorality. For his trouble, he was assaulted by militant gay demonstrators. But the Old Bill chose to arrest him, not those who attacked him, and last week his conviction was upheld by senior judges.

I’ve written before about the case of the prison officer sacked for cracking a joke about Osama bin Laden.

How the hell did we get to the point where telling a gag about the world’s most wanted terrorist can be deemed offensive to anyone?

Kilroy gets sacked by the BBC for something he wrote about Arabs in a Sunday newspaper. Yet BBC arts commentator Tom Paulin gets to keep his gig at the Beeb even though he called for Jews to be shot.

That’s OK, because anti-Semitism is a core part of the new Fascist Left orthodoxy. So how could anyone possibly take offence at the notion that Jewish settlers deserve to be murdered?

Tory sex scandals are “sleaze”. But Labour legovers are always a private matter or a “personal tragedy” and we should all mind our own business.

When gay Labour MP Chris Bryant disported himself on the Internet recently dressed only in his Y-fronts, we were told he had a perfect right to do so and anyone who raised an eyebrow was a raging “homophobe”.

Similarly, if anyone expresses concern about the level of illegal immigration threatening the very fabric of our nation they are howled down as “racist”.

Oppose further European integration, as four out of five British people now do, and you will find yourself vilified as a “xenophobe” or “Little
Englander”.

Now it’s gone beyond abuse. The Fascist Left are trying to use the law to punish anyone who challenges them and have dreamed up a whole raft of “hate crimes” to enforce their pernicious doctrine.

There are some bad bastards out there, hell-bent on controlling every aspect of our lives, from what we eat and drink, to what we say and think.

They are intolerant, hectoring and bullying. And they must be stopped. We must not be cowed.

You’ll never take me alive, copper.