http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,3604,950541,00.html

Rod Liddle

Wednesday May 7, 2003
The Guardian

Blair in $16bn bribe scandal!
Shelve the plans for foundation hospitals - the Nibiruans are on
their way. They want to help, of course, but they might turn nasty if
we start doing weird things to the NHS. These Nibiruans - well, you
just can't tell what sort of mood they're in. Let me explain. I am
beholden to reader Bridget Pemberton for passing on some quite
wonderful conspiracy theories, which she found - where else? - on the
web. I thought I'd better share some of them with you.
Check out the Cloak and Dagger website (www.cloakanddagger.ca) for a
complete lack of evidence that George W Bush bunged Tony Blair a
personal bribe of £16bn to support the war in Iraq, "via a financial
entity in the United Arab Emirates". The money went into Tony's
private account, apparently. Hell, I'd have supported the war for
half that. Why does nobody ever try to bribe me? Twenty years a
journalist and not a single cash bung, although the Fruit Trades
Journal once offered me some fruit.
Anyway, Tony also arranged to ship "items" to North Korea "to
facilitate their nuclear capabilities". I'm not sure how this fits
into the rest of the plot, but apparently Hillary Clinton, Royal
Jordanian Airlines, Alan Greenspan and Ronald Reagan are involved
somewhere along the line - and the overall goal is the overthrow of
the American republic. Fair enough, you might think. As Machiavelli
had it, the end does occasionally justify the means.
Obviously, I want very much to believe this conspiracy, but I want
even more to believe the other one on Propagandamatrix - that Blair's
real motive for the war was to protect an "elite" paedophile ring.
(No direct link or even full URL for this. Why not Rod?
 http://www.propagandamatrix.com/ - dh)
I'm not sure how. Nor am I sure, exactly, what an "elite" paedophile
is, or does. By my reckoning, 40% of conspiracy theories have
paedophiles lurking in the bushes somewhere in the background. There
are usually perfidious Jews in the mix, too - aren't there, Tam?
Jews, paedophiles and aliens. And, if you're David Icke, giant
lizards.
Luckily, whatever its real cause or motive, the war in Iraq will be
the last ever to be waged on this planet. We know this because it has
been so decreed by the Lightworkers of the Light Realm in Telos,
which is situated - as I'm sure you are aware; hell, you may even
have been there - in the centre of the earth. "Your Mother Earth's
time for ascension has now come and her wishes will be honoured. From
this time forward she will cleanse herself and will not tolerate any
longer the abuse of Her body and Her precious children."
This is quite exciting, don't you think? To where will earth ascend,
I wonder? Adama of Telos is less forthcoming on this matter, but then
maybe she or he doesn't know either. Because we're all of us,
henceforth, "under the jurisdiction of the Great Central Sun". This
GCS business seems to work a bit like the European court of human
rights, except with better robes.
My general rule of thumb is that one in 100 conspiracy theorie8s are
correct. In which case, please let it be that delivered to us by the
Nibiruan Council. I don't know where Nibirua is, but it's certainly
not of this world: "As we explained in our January update," the
Nibiruans remind us, "you now have a ninth-dimensional grid
surrounding your planet. It is through the templates in this grid
that you can find your way out of the current situation." Guys, I'm
looking, I'm looking.
So thank you, Bridget Pemberton. And thank you, Nibiruan Council