Emperor Bush, on the phone: Pontius Blair, this is your Emperor speaking.

Pontius Blair: Heil Bush! The all-great!

Emperor Bush: Pontius Blair, we need to stage a peace meeting so I can give you your new war orders. Any idea where we can meet for maximum feel-good publicity and minimum fuss from the slaves?

Pontius Blair: All-great Bush, my kingdom still holds in captivity a colony of slaves, willing to declare obedience to your empire, it’s called Ireland, we can meet there, near the slave city of Belfast.

Emperor Bush: Ireland? Didn’t they try to prevent my death planes from using my airport at Shannon?

Pontius Blair: Only a few hundred ever showed up Emperor, but their great slave-leader Ahern has always bowed before your image, of majesty. He promises to kiss your nuclear ring, and more, if you allow him the privilege.

Emperor Bush: But aren’t there other slave leaders in Ireland who oppose me?

Pontius Blair: Only to gain blind support from their followers. The slave leader Adams will come like a dog when we beckon, and explain to his followers it is a noble action, and they, being Irish and used to slavery, will believe him and obey. Believe me Emperor, we have governed them directly and indirectly for hundreds of years. They have a slave mentality which extends deep into their subconscious. A few will carry signs and demonstrate publicly against your majesty, but the rest of them will praise you as slaves always praise their masters. They’ve felt the whip enough to know that resistance is futile.

Emperor Bush: Ok Pontius, see you next week. I have pockets full of cluster bombs and depleted uranium to give you to use against the brown slaves in the east who claim our oil. I’m sure you will not hesitate to use these marvellous weapons.

Pontius Blair: Of course not Emperor, we do as we are told. Heil Bush!