The White House announced today that the long-sought link between Al Qaeda and Iraq's Saddam Hussein has been positively established, silencing critics of the administration's war plans and clearing the way for an attack on Iraq that officials now say could begin as early as Monday. The bombshell announcement comes in the face of mounting opposition to the Bush cabinets's war plans, and only days after the administration revealed classified intelligence indicating the presence of al Qaeda operatives in Kurdish-controlled Northern Iraq. Speaking at a hastily called press briefing in the White House Rose Garden, President Bush announced this latest intelligence windfall, which he termed "The goodest new evidence of my most recent presidentiary that that butcher (indicating Sadaam Hussein) is even more EVIL than me ... uhh ... than we thought."

The president quickly excused himself and turned the podium over to National Security Advisor Carolina Rice as two high-ranking military officers hurried Mr. Bush back inside, reminding him in whispered tones what sounded to this reporter something like "Mr. President, it's time for your daily intelligence implant". While they have been a familiar sight at morning security briefings and other top-level meetings involving the President, the actual role of these officers in the Bush administration remains shrouded in mystery; many have wondered about the Army Medical Corps insignia displayed on their spotless and beribboned uniforms, which seem oddly out of place with the white leather athletic shoes worn by both men. At least one member of the White House Press Corps later commented that the President's feet seemed hardly to be touching the ground as the trio made their way back to the Oval Office. Ms. Rice sidestepped reporters' questions about the identity of the president's escorts, saying she was there to discuss the new evidence against Iraq.

The discovery of Al Qaeda's connection with Saddam Hussein was as unexpected as it is damning for the Iraqi dictator. A high-level Al Qaeda official being held as an enemy combatant at the U.S. base in Guantanamo provided his interrogators with the missing link after recognizing a photograph in a collection of old magazine pages provided to the prisoners for sanitary purposes. Top Al Qaeda lieutenant Salah al Shahidi spotted the key to the Iraq connection and promptly brought it to his interrogator's attention. Mr. Shahidi is said to also be the source for the administration's earlier intelligence regarding Iraq, the most recent of which led to Monday's White House announcement of Iraq's connection with Al Qaeda.

The elusive clue to the Iraq connection was a closeup photograph of a mosquito in a Time Magazine feature article on the spread of West Nile virus in the United States. Mr. Shahidi reportedly told his interrogators he recognized the mosquito from his days at an Al Qaeda training camp outside the Afghan city of Kandahar, and said not only was the insect present when Osama bin Laden visited on several occasions, but that the bug had actually shared quarters with bin Laden and his top advisors. Mr. Shahidi then recalled having seen the same mosquito during one of his visits to Northern Iraq, and claimed he and the mosquito were both present during his previously disclosed meeting with an un-named member of Iraqi intelligence. It was during that meeting, Mr. Shahidi said, that the subject of training in the use of chemical weapons was discussed, although it remains uncomfirmed whether the chemical weapons in question included agents other than mosquito spray.

The pieces of the puzzle all fell into place when CIA analysts in Washington read a recent Newsweek article reporting that the United States had transferred a variety of bio-weapon seed stocks to Iraq. The Newsweek article states that records of the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) show the U.S. transfers to Iraq included West Nile virus, E. Coli, Anthrax, Botulism, and other infectious bacteriological agents suitable for development as bioweapons. The transfers spanned the period 1985-1993 (ending two years after Operation Desert Storm). It was this serendipitous discovery by the CIA in the pages of Newsweek - that Iraq had access to West Nile virus - that tripped the alarm bells for intelligence officials. Following the discovery, crack analysts worked around the clock to quickly connect the dots linking Shahibi's information about the Al Qaeda mosquito with the emergence of West Nile Virus in this country. "The connection couldn't be clearer" said a high-ranking intelligence official on condition of anonymity, "This is the best evidence yet of Saddam's connection with Al Qaeda in an attack on U.S. soil."

National Security Advisor Carolina Rice agreed with that assessment. "We now have all the evidence we need to go after Saddam Hussein," she said. "If this doesn't satisfy the doubters, I don't know what will." Later today at a Republican fundraiser, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said the new evidence against Iraq was conclusive. When asked if he thought this would convince the rest of the world and allow the U.N. the political latitude it needs to adopt the resolution demanded by the Bush administration, Secretary Rumsfeld replied "I don't see how it couldn't. Looks to me like a real no-brainer. Saddam Hussein is ... well, he's just an evil tyrant and a truly despicable person, and he's now been caught with his hand in the mosquito jar. If everyone doesn't see that, they're just stupid and unpatriotic."

Congress immediately took up the issue as key lawmakers called for a full inquiry into the routes used by the mosquitos to enter the United States. From the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue, President Bush echoed the call for a full investigation, but hopes for naming a select committee to examine the issue evaporated when the President announced his refusal to provide any information. Contacted by phone, Director of Homeland Security Tom Ridge said it wasn't yet clear how the Al Qaeda mosquitos entered the country, "but if we discover that they did so without visas or other appropriate documentation, heads will roll."

Attorney General Ashcroft was not available for comment, but a top official in the Justice Department said his office has already begun drafting new legislation to loosen still further the requirement for police to obtain warrants before searching premises. "It will be very important for law enforcement personnel to have free and instant access to any and all premises without having to go to a judge or schedule a hearing before a secret court. This is a situation where the public health and safety outweighs any outdated expectation of privacy" he said. "We can't fool around."

On the other side of the Atlantic, Britain's Tony Blair reacted to the latest evidence with obvious satisfaction. "I was confident the President would come up with something," he said. Mr. Blair indicated he intends to incorporate the latest evidence of the Iraq - Al Qaeda connection in a new revision of his "Dossier", the long-awaited but largely unconvincing document he claims establishes the basis for joint US/UK military action against Iraq. "This new information will certainly make the case for war" he stated, and implied he might also include in the report additional details of his own. He did caution, however, that it would be a mistake to expect the new report to contain corroboration or supporting evidence. "I'm under no obligation to provide that, and I certainly will not compromise intelligence sources. It should be enough for the people of Great Britain that President Bush has corroborated the information I have provided, and it should be enough for the world that I have verified what the President has said."