Undeterred by the loss of a special Ops helicopter, which "crash-landed" in enemy territory today, U.S. special forces are waiting their chance to test their mettle against entrenched Taliban forces, dug in north of Kabul. Hundreds of crack U.S. combat troops are ready to deploy in Afghanistan, a Pentagon spokesman revealed today.

These are America's finest and most fearsome elite soldiers, trained in lethal fighting manoeuvres designed to surprise and destroy the most bellicose opponent.

"The enemy is being hunted down abroad and at home," George W.Bush said. "I am very satisfied and the American people should be satisfied with the progress we are making on the ground."

Today's planned deployment was cancelled, however, because the weather wasn't very nice.

"The ones who are presently trying to get in have not yet successfully gotten in," U.S. Navy Rear Adm. John Stufflebeem said.

An emergency shipment of camouflage umbrellas is expected to be delivered sometime in the next week.