Tories: The desperation continues.

Guido | 25.01.2005 15:21 | Analysis | Anti-racism | London

After grabbing the headlines for a full 45 seconds by stealing immigration policies from the BNP, the tories unveiled 2 new potential vote winners today (pictured below).

1) Wooing the female vote: "Go on give us a kiss, I wont bite, promise..."

2) The youth Vote: "Hello there, would you like to see some puppies?"

Tory insiders have strongly hinted that Mr Howard will be holding a charity jumble sale in his constituancy this weekend to raise money for vampires affected by the tsunami. Meanwhile Boris Johnson has declared his intention to perform at a local strip club in a bid to boost the conservative vote at the next election into double figures. Tony Blair was too busy killing Iraqi civilians and eating their offal to comment.

Guido
e-mail: guidoreports@riseup.net

Comments

Hide the following 6 comments

Controlling immigration is not racist!

25.01.2005 15:45

Immigration control is not racist. It is not about race at all but about space. Britain is a small overcrowded island we simply cannot take any more people!

Micheal

Oops, let something slip there didn't you.

25.01.2005 17:24

"Controlling immigration is not racist" says 'Micheal'. Oh really, in which case how do you explain why no'one is kicking up a fuss about the ammount of Australians or French who are successfully applying to live here?
Trying to win votes by attacking immigrants and asylem seekers? Whose votes? Not racists, no surely not. The word racism wasnt mentioned in the original post, but if the cap fits Micheal.......

Guido

No Borders

26.01.2005 00:08

Earth at night

People in the UK can now go and live anywhere in the EU, and others in the EU can come and live here -- this *hasn't* caused a problem, in fact it's been quite handy for a lot of people... :-)

Tiny EU places, like Réunion

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reunion (Réunion is an island, as well as an overseas département (département d'outre-mer, or DOM) of France, located in the Indian Ocean, east of Madagascar.) or Malta haven't sunk into the sea due to the hoards of chilly north Europeans looking for a place in the sun...

The world *already* has a crazy population distribution, look at this photo:

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap040822.html and especially the full size version:

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/image/0208/earthlights02_dmsp_big.jpg -- border controls have totally *failed* to ensure a sensible distrubtion of people (of course this isn't their aim anyway...).

The *only* thing that makes any sense is a world with No Borders, where people can just live where they like...

Check out the No One Is Illegal Group

http://www.noii.org.uk/ and their manifesto:

http://noii.trick.ca/OurManifesto -- this is one of the best things written about this matter IMHO.

For a world without borders! No immigration controls!

Chris

I see so having electricity entitles you to be counted?

26.01.2005 14:10

Africa is empty!!!

does no one live in Africa?

erm...

hmmm...

DUR!!!

capt wardrobe

Freedom at any cost.. even if it means the Tories

27.01.2005 16:25

What if Howard says he'll scrap this new "house arrest" bill?

Support him then would you?

Because he just might...

Guido's Guide

Stop having babies!

28.01.2005 00:59

We'll be falling into the sea soon! It's a small overcrowded island and we don't have enough space. So keep those legs together ladies and gents zip it up. So says Michael.

Sim1