After grabbing the headlines for a full 45 seconds by stealing immigration policies from the BNP, the tories unveiled 2 new potential vote winners today (pictured below).
1) Wooing the female vote: "Go on give us a kiss, I wont bite, promise..."
2) The youth Vote: "Hello there, would you like to see some puppies?"
Tory insiders have strongly hinted that Mr Howard will be holding a charity jumble sale in his constituancy this weekend to raise money for vampires affected by the tsunami. Meanwhile Boris Johnson has declared his intention to perform at a local strip club in a bid to boost the conservative vote at the next election into double figures. Tony Blair was too busy killing Iraqi civilians and eating their offal to comment.
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