An urgent plea on behalf of torturers
Kieron Monks | 04.06.2009 17:13 | Anti-militarism | Anti-racism | Terror War
Now that Guantanamo bay faces closure, what will become of the brave men who pulled teeth out for justice? Our organisation aims to have them back in gainful employment, probably in Pakistan.
Who are we?
The Enhanced Interrogation Victim's Network is a UK-registered charity that has supported badly treated interrogators since January 2009 when the Whitehouse began its fanatical human-rights-for-brown-people agenda. Many interrogators have been left redundant and homeless. We have fought tirelessly to re-integrate these people into foreign wars.
We rely on donations from individuals like you to continue our essential work.
What our help provides
• Job opportunities throughout Asia and other regions where interrogation is a necessity
• Vital funding for unemployed and homeless ex-interrogators who have fallen through the cracks
• Free training and tools for all freelance interrogators
Testimony from Orvill Redfax
"The MI5 stationed me in Guantanamo where I worked on more than 100 prisoners over three years. In January my Sergeant called me into his office and said that they would have to let me go. I tried to find work but my skills were not transferrable. It seemed there was no future for me... until I found EIVN. I am now waiting to fly to Pakistan to work for ISI where I will be processing up to ten prisoners a day on a commission basis. Thank you EIVN"
How you can help
Fill in your details on the form below to donate as little as £20 a month. Or you can sign up to volunteer your services as a ‘test dummy' to be used in training by torturers who desperately miss work they love so much. Your contribution can make all the difference.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I ........ solemnly pledge to provide ........ in support of the Enhanced Interrogation Victim's Network.
Tick box if you would like us to come round for a quick chat []
Give us your number:
Give us your address:
There is no reason for you not to give us your personal details... especially if you are Muslim.
The Enhanced Interrogation Victim's Network is a UK-registered charity that has supported badly treated interrogators since January 2009 when the Whitehouse began its fanatical human-rights-for-brown-people agenda. Many interrogators have been left redundant and homeless. We have fought tirelessly to re-integrate these people into foreign wars.
We rely on donations from individuals like you to continue our essential work.
What our help provides
• Job opportunities throughout Asia and other regions where interrogation is a necessity
• Vital funding for unemployed and homeless ex-interrogators who have fallen through the cracks
• Free training and tools for all freelance interrogators
Testimony from Orvill Redfax
"The MI5 stationed me in Guantanamo where I worked on more than 100 prisoners over three years. In January my Sergeant called me into his office and said that they would have to let me go. I tried to find work but my skills were not transferrable. It seemed there was no future for me... until I found EIVN. I am now waiting to fly to Pakistan to work for ISI where I will be processing up to ten prisoners a day on a commission basis. Thank you EIVN"
How you can help
Fill in your details on the form below to donate as little as £20 a month. Or you can sign up to volunteer your services as a ‘test dummy' to be used in training by torturers who desperately miss work they love so much. Your contribution can make all the difference.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I ........ solemnly pledge to provide ........ in support of the Enhanced Interrogation Victim's Network.
Tick box if you would like us to come round for a quick chat []
Give us your number:
Give us your address:
There is no reason for you not to give us your personal details... especially if you are Muslim.
Kieron Monks
e-mail:
kieron@dontpaniconline.com
Homepage:
http://www.dontpaniconline.com
Comments
Hide the following comment
Looking glass satire
05.06.2009 08:46
Your pastiche isn't funny to me, because it muddies important waters. You equate interrogators with abuse, for comedic effect admittedly, but it is a damaging stereotype that can only serve to increase the amount of torture in the world. There were decent, humane and professional interrogators employed by the US who are now unemployed, blacklisted for being decent. Meanwhile, except for eight junior soldiers, not one of the other torturers, politicians, military above the rank of major nor the companies responsible for the torturers has been punished. Quite the reverse. They are rolling in it.
Keiron, either you don't understand the issues and haven't done the research, which I doubt, or you are trying to encapsulate too much information into a too short satrical sketch, which is perfectly understandable. Cramming a complex issue into a cartoon is a high art. Either way, I want you to know that your pastiche is unintentionally ironic, and that that irony is closer to the spirit of your post, and to the truth.
There were good americans in Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib, including good interrogators. They are unemployed now, blacklisted. If your fake fund earns any money then I can tell you who to give it too. Meanwhile, apart from a few sorry flunkies the real perpertators of torure have profitted greatly. The misimpression your article gives is that these people have suffered for their crimes, and they haven't. Yet.
Danny