I promise £20 to the person who responds to the latest Shirlie McKie news with an even partially relevant post. Honestly, show me a modicum of interest in your response and a bank account /sort code number or else I donate the £20 directly to IM - don't make me do that. People post here for varous reasons but all of you should aspire to true journalism, and an interest in all stories not just your own. 3 or 4 lines will earn you £20, which is more than most mainstream journalists earn for full articles - seven pence per word for most unknown journalists I believe, you do the maths.

I could do it myself, I have a story, but I'm not doing this for you lot anymore, it feels less like flogging a dead horse and more like wanking a dead pig. I'm not rich but I am honest. £20 for the most in depth response on Shirlie McKie. Try it and see.

IM's, I know this reads like non-news, but it really is important and relevant news, I'm just getting too old and bitter to spoon-feed it here any longer. There is a story here, give your newbies a chance to find it. Not having any faith in the younger generations reading ability I've decided to bribe them to investigate for themselves.