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Fashion outlawed by shopping centres.

Versace | 12.05.2005 11:55 | Repression | London

Yobs skulking in baseball caps and hooded tops deliberately terrorize shopping centres, by shopping for caps and hooded tops.

Old ladies quiver in fear at the increase in gull attacks, the impending heatwave and Muslim neighbours, but a far greater threat to their safety and security is youths lurking in clothes.

No, not pink spiked hair, leather jackets and DM’s up to their knees, with fifty safety pins in their nose, but boys with the audacity to wear baseball caps and hooded sweatshirts.

There have been no reported incidents of anti-social behaviour in stores, but their very presence in society is becoming a major problem. People are afraid to leave the house for fear of lads, coming home from school in terrifying caps, and intimidating hoods.

Let’s stamp out this latest threat, by tagging or detaining everyone between the age of fourteen and seventeen. That’ll teach the little wretches. How dare they scare old ladies with their appearance on the street?

You know it makes sense.

Versace

Comments

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fashion

12.05.2005 12:29

the fashion industry is the apex of consumer culture. it gets flushed first.

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Not a problem

12.05.2005 15:15

Well I guess if groups of young men want to dress up in baseball caps and hooded sweatshirts to show how hard they are the last thing they would want to do is to stand around outside Tescos so I guess this won't be a problem will it ?

Fashion Victim

not the only place

12.05.2005 15:33

Plymouth City Council wanted to implement this policy throughout the city centre a coupla years ago but it all went quiey after a while and I can't rememeber why, maybe it's because brollies would've been next or maybe they realised just how stupid they were being.

ed

Isn't this political INcorrectness gone mad?

12.05.2005 15:57

Yes its the clothes that are the problem. If we'd banned drape coats and Brylcreem in the 1950s the Teddy Boys would have just gone home; if we'd stamped out DMs and Harringtons in the 1970s the skinheads would have settled for cocoa and an early night.

And now people have the audacity to wear the clothes sold to them by shops!!! The swine!

ForFucksSake

Long Live Anti-Social Behaviour!

12.05.2005 17:57

In this shitty corrupt world where the youth have got sod and fuck all to do or get involved in within the filthy capitalist ridden streets that they live within ... these places deserve to be bloody trashed and fucked by the angry dispossesed youth!

Fuck your system and fuck you.

Any comments? Shove em up yer ass!

Censor^me^now!

The latest government initiative to make the world safe

13.05.2005 09:51

Tony Blair said after his election victory that he would listen to the people. Is he deaf? The word he claims to have heard most during the campaign was “respect” but what he failed to perceive was that it was in reference to the lack of it which people have for HIM due to the lies he told to engage the country in an illegal and unwanted war. But Tony has interpreted it entirely differently and says it was referring to yobbery and not his elitist snobbery.

According to the media, anyone who sports a baseball cap and sweatshirt with a hood is guilty of anti-social behaviour or causing fear and insecurity in society. Michael Moore, Prince Harry and Madonna must be included in this category, as it is their preferred mode of casual attire. They are all thugs whose very presence on our streets makes them suspects and fair game for police harassment. Expect record numbers of ASBO’s and arrests.

Unfortunately for Tony, it’s almost summer and we are anticipating a heatwave. Hooded tops will be shed like snakeskin and teenage offenders will not be so easily identified. This latest drive to criminalize all youth will backfire as corporations will see retail sales plummet. Perhaps bare feet and nudity will come into vogue, since wearing expensive trainers automatically makes you a thief. What will be outlawed next, string vests, bare chests, or just existing?

Fanny