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Fashion outlawed by shopping centres.

Versace | 12.05.2005 11:55 | Repression | London

Yobs skulking in baseball caps and hooded tops deliberately terrorize shopping centres, by shopping for caps and hooded tops.

Old ladies quiver in fear at the increase in gull attacks, the impending heatwave and Muslim neighbours, but a far greater threat to their safety and security is youths lurking in clothes.

No, not pink spiked hair, leather jackets and DM’s up to their knees, with fifty safety pins in their nose, but boys with the audacity to wear baseball caps and hooded sweatshirts.

There have been no reported incidents of anti-social behaviour in stores, but their very presence in society is becoming a major problem. People are afraid to leave the house for fear of lads, coming home from school in terrifying caps, and intimidating hoods.

Let’s stamp out this latest threat, by tagging or detaining everyone between the age of fourteen and seventeen. That’ll teach the little wretches. How dare they scare old ladies with their appearance on the street?

You know it makes sense.

Versace

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