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Vinegar and Brown Paper

Yakoub Islam | 26.08.2004 22:37 | Analysis | Anti-racism | Free Spaces

How easy is it to breach to Terrorism Act? To test the waters, Yakoub Islam has decided to set up a blog detailing his plans to commit a minor act of terrorism outside Parliament sometimes in the near future. MI5 have already been notified of the blog via their website.

Dear friends

In protest at the 30 000 raids carried out by Britain's security services on Muslim homes, which have resulted in only 100 terrorism charges - some of which are viewed with scepticism by British Muslims - and only THREE Muslims convicted of terrorist related offences, I have decided to become a terrorist.

Muslim Terrorist Blog
 http://stupidmaniac.blogspot.com/
"Yakoub Islam, being of sound mind, hereby proclaims his intention to intimidate a section of the public, for the purpose of advancing an ideological cause, in breach of Part 1 of the Terrorism Act, 2000. To wit, it is his intent to maliciously and wilfully explode a jar of pickle onions outside the Houses of Parliament in London, England, with the intent to spread fear and panic amongst English people who enjoy ploughman's lunches. May the Lord have mercy on his soul."

The above blog will detail the planning and execution of this terrorism attack.

I understand that those who have been victims of terrorism, even indirectly, may be outraged by my intention to recklessly explode a jar of perfectly good pickled onions in a public place. It is, however, not my intention to offend such people, all of whom have my deepest sympathy, nor do I hope to win affection for murderers who pose by the pseudonym terrorist. My single aim is to lampoon the British government for its inexcusably crass policing policies, which have seriously contributed to the demonization of my religious community.

I will of course refrain from spreading vinegar mayhem in the Capital, should David Blunkett choose to bow to my threat and cease ingesting ploughman's lunches at the Home Office forthwith.

Regards

Yakoub Islam
Tasneem Project

Yakoub Islam
- e-mail: yakoub@bayyinat.org.uk
- Homepage: http://stupidmaniac.blogspot.com/

Comments

Hide the following 6 comments

Terrorists Handbook

26.08.2004 23:40


As an additional prop might I suggest a copy of the Terrorists Handbook:

 http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=terrorists+handbook&btnG=Google+Search

One of the people recently arrested, Qaisir Shaffi, was charged with nothing more sinister than having a printout of a web page!!!

nowar


terrorists r us

27.08.2004 00:11

And I'm sure those who habe clicked on the terrorist handbook and anarchist cookbook links from the google link given have left traces both at Google and in the ghost resources of our hard drives
hich will provide useful evidence in the upcoming summary trials as the clampdown extends from the Muslim community

dh


handbook

27.08.2004 12:38

Just a quick point re the handbooks - the terrorist Handbook is a copy from the infamous Anarchist Cookbook. the anarchist Cookbook has nothing to do with anarchism. It was written by an right-wing american chap whose other claim to fame was a biog praising the Saudi royal family. Shades of Emmanuel( Big Brother )Goldstein, perhaps, in 1984.

Perhaps he wanted gullible people to try the innacurate bomb recipes to blow themselves up. Why, only yesterday I managed to blow myself to smithereens whilst preparing a mixture of fertilizer, sugar, and hummus.

MI5 sucks


Financial Advice

04.09.2004 14:12

Why pickled onions, are you Anti-Gherkin?
Are you going to be selective as to where they are purchased from? You wouldnt want your cash being filtered through to the government of oppressive regimes and used for the tyranny of war against innocent civilians.

Maybe buy you should buy them offshore, I hear that pickled onions are cheapest in Kazhakstan at the moment. Please check before you leave, the value of pickled onions may go up as well as down, however their worth in this instance will be unsurpassed by any other jar of pickled onions.

Are the onions doing it for Allah?

Goodluck!

Accidental Terrorist


Good work

06.09.2004 13:35

Its about time someone decided to stand up and allow themselves to be counted. All too often people complain blindly without any sense of their own abilities. To make a difference in this world we have to show we have the knowledge, compassion and wisdom to make this change for the good, and not to moan and groan about the half truths. We are often treated like mushrooms, well I for one have decided not to live in the dark any longer. And as for the shit, I am not taking it any more.

Shane
- Homepage: http://graveymatey.blogspot.com