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New: ASYLUM

Jack | 22.04.2002 15:50

This story removed due to racism policy and factually incorrect.

Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of ASYLUM!

Today's programme features another chance to take part in our competitions hijack an airliner and win a Housing commision flat.

We've already given away hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of dream homes courtesy of our sponsor, the Australian taxpayer.

And don't forget, we're now the fastest-growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid Australian passport. You only need one word of English: ASYLUM!

Prizes include all-expensive paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at $500.00 a week.. No applications ever refused, reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:
ASYLUM!

Only this week 40 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown goat class from Kabul to our international gateway at Sydney, where local law
enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury $200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.

They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Australia. Our most popular destinations include the South Australian wine valleys, the wonderful west coast and the remarkable beauty of the Pacific Ocean.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. It won't cost a penny.

So play today. It could change your life forever.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil Tigers, Bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas.

COME ON DOWN

Don't go to Germany or France. Go straight to Australia. And you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth.

Roll up; roll up my friends, for the game that never ends. Everone's a winner. When you play: ASYLUM!

Jack

Comments

Display the following 3 comments

  1. Silly, silly little man — Spike Militant
  2. Nazi scum fuck off — Joe m
  3. New Readers — Digger