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pic 14
01.05.2006 20:57
esteban
Advice for Tourists and Potential Migrants from the Anarchist Travel Centre
02.05.2006 00:35
Want to check out those quaint English people? Fancy a new life in 'blighty'? Want to drink cups of tea by day, play football with your hands (rugby) by evening, and drink over-priced corporate piss (beer), and throw up all over the street in between fighting and shouting nonsese by night?
Then the answer for you is England. This country revels in preaching freedom and tolerance to the world, yet innovates in rolling out a blanket police state (now fortunately being copied world-wide) that all visitors - particularly those that are "illegal" (black or asian) - will enjoy. These visitors, known popularly as 'scroungers', get to be fully looked after by trained Group 4 detention centre officers who revel in strange practices as part of a holiday package called Detention. You may not be allowed to stay, but you will certainly get to enjoy a real Englishman's welcome!
If you fail to get the lucky prize (such as if you are from the EU or aryan looking), then don't worry, you will still be able to savour the technological delights of one-third of all the worlds CCTV cameras being pointed at your face with facial recognition software almost every second of your waking day, an ID card scheme that will hilariously entitle you to everything English people are currently already entitled to without one, a curious political system that allows less that 1% of the population to vote directly for Tony Blair yet land him the top job for 10 years ("democracy"), and brainwashed neighbours and work colleagues who will be able to demonstrate a slavish desire to spend money, consume, and laugh at people they've never met in countries they've never even heard of!
You see, the English are a funny bunch and many of them even believe that a war against an enemy that doesn't even exist will actually not last forever! Here at the ATC we say let the victory celebrations begin now and send congratulatory statements, by post-card, to Rev. Blair, Parish of Westminster (10 Downing Street, London, SW1). Or why not upgrade your tour, and actually move there? The time has never been better to change your country of residence.
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Krop
Contact info?
02.05.2006 21:48
Donnacha
e-mail:
donnacha.delong@tiscali.co.uk