LONDON CALLING
THE BULLETIN OF LONDON CLASS WAR
MARCH 2005
PO BOX 467, LONDON E8 3QX
www.londonclasswar.org |  classwaruk@hotmail.com

THE MET ARE ON A SINKING SHIP
New Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair (oh no, not another one!Any relation we wonder?) has only been in office for a month - and already he has caused outrage. Recently he was accused of wasting public money by his decision to spend a hundred and twenty-five thousand pounds publishing an open letter to Londoners advertising himself, and wasting council taxpayers' money. He has also started a campaign against middle class yuppies sniffing cocaine - strange, considering the Met's history in taking coke themselves, busting dealers and re-selling it on the streets. And bizarrely enough he visited Stoke Newington Police Station straight after issuing the statement.

Stokey Police Station saw officers sacked for, and charged with, supplying coke. Blair certainly hasn't done his home work, has he! We don't hold out much hope for the new Met fuckwit! Now, unbelievably, he wants to use a prison ship on the Thames to hold the capital's binge drinkers and yobs. He said: "The prison ship would be an option in the short term. The best bit is that you wouldn't need planning permission. You could just keep moving it around the Thames. But I am not sure I would be able to get away with that." That's the Met's top knob speaking. He also said the long-term answer to the capital's shortage of police cells was to build big complexes of them on industrial estates. Sadly, we are not making this up.

We would like to remind Blair about the on going problems with the overcrowded Victorian prisons that still exist in London. Up to five suicide attempts are occurring per day at Holloway Prison and recently it emerged that one woman tried to hang herself six times in a single night. Earlier this year, the then-governor Ed Willets said that staff members were cutting down three women a day from makeshift nooses. "It's five now," said a member of the current healthcare staff, who spoke on condition of anonymity. "The current situation is dismal and the end of the year is a particularly vulnerable time for women," says Deborah Coles, who assists families of inmates who die in prison, as part of a support group called "Inquest." "We know that prisons cannot keep women safe: it is not just those who are dying, but the high numbers self-harming and attempting suicide every day. The future is looking extremely bleak."
To say that there is a crisis at Holloway Prison would be a great understatement. It is very difficult to imagine conditions that would cause this many suicide attempts. But it is clear that one of the main problems at the prison is that of overcrowding - the female prison population has increased an astronomical 250% in the past decade, from 1,811 in 1994 to the current 4,475 and the Prison Service's own research indicates that overcrowding in prison leads to more suicide attempts.
Wormwood Scrubs is another prison where many inmates attempt - or succeed in committing - suicide. "Far too many people find prison intolerable and are dying as a direct consequence of our love affair with punishment and incarceration" - another statement by an anonymous prison officer.

H.M.P. BRIXTON

With over ten years Brixton has faced problems with racism, beatings and more corruption by the screws and has a terrible past history. Even a black officer who complained about the beating up of a prisoner faced abuse and ostracised for making a stand against the behaviour of staff at the prison. Another issue Ian Blair is forgetting is that our gaols face a struggle to cope with the problem of mental illness behind bars. The crisis has got so severe that the Governor of Brixton Prison says he's breaking the law by keeping some inmates behind bars beyond their release date, so they can't re-offend. Proper treatment is so scarce - all four thousand suitable secure psychiatric beds are already full. Almost unnoticed by the outside world, our prisons have started to fill up with mentally disordered men and women.

WANDSWORTH PRISON 'DETERIORATING'

Conditions at another of Britain's biggest gaols are slowly deteriorating. Black and other ethnic minority prisoners in Wandsworth consistently complained about racism, and overcrowding made conditions worse. An inspection 16 months ago recommended a reduction in prison numbers until the prison was fully staffed - to date this has not happened. The prison "was failing to meet basic standards of decency and activity for most of its 1460 prisoners". With other prisons in England sharing the same, if not worse problems, Blair should be thinking about what he is saying before he spurts his mouth off trying to impress Londoners; and as usual we see the likes of Blair ignoring the real issues... May we suggest that Blair puts the prison hulk currently at Portland in Dorset to good use by placing the Met police aboard and slowly sail it away out to sea.
CLASS WAR AND LONDON CALLING ARE FREE TO PRISONERS

IAN BLAIR FACTFILE
DoB: 19 March 1953 (Pisces)
Education: Wrekin College; Harvard High School, LA; Christ Church, Oxford (MA) - read English.
Family: Married Felicity Jane White in 1980 (one son, one daughter).
Interests: Skiing, tennis, golf, theatre

Ian Blair is probably best known on the anarchist scene as the cop in charge of policing the Newbury bypass protests of the 1990s, for which he was rewarded by promotion to Chief Cuntstable of Sussex in 1998. Not so well known, though, is his support for Brian Paddick, who can now expect his career to resume the fast track it was on several years ago. Blair was also instrumental in the creation of the Community Support Officers - pseudoplod - we see so often on our streets. However, it's unlikely that he will do too much to antagonise the Police Federation, as witness his support for the two officers who killed Harry Stanley when there was the aborsive SO19 firearms officers' 'strike' recently.
Ian Blair, like his namesake Tony, is a fervent Christian, motivated by service, loyalty and god-bothering values - according to his friends. And according to his enemies? Wait and see!

WHOOPS! OUR JAMIE DOES IT AGAIN!
Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver's restaurant Fifteen has been lambasted by Hardin's Food Guide for the third year running.

The 2005 Hardin's London restaurants guide said it was "amateurish" and rated it the worst of 32 surveyed. Food, service and atmosphere were all rated low at the Hoxton restaurant which was supposed to be opened to give disadvantaged young people chef training.

"Just because it's a charity doesn't give them the right to rip people off," said one customer in the guide. The restaurant, where a meal without wine costs around seventy quid a head, with wine at twelve quid a bottle (cheapest) that will be a hundred and sixty quid for a meal for two not including the tip, bangers & mash is on the menu and unbelievably most of the staff who are unemployed are getting paid by the social, what a great turnover for Jamie, Fifteen was also ranked fourth most expensive place to eat in London and eighth in the list for most disappointing cooking.

"I don't think it is a surprise that it hasn't lived up to people's expectations but it is a surprise about how badly it has come out in the survey," guide co-editor Peter Harden said.

CHEAP AS CHIPS

Jamie Oliver who claims that he is losing over a million a quid a year at his Hoxton restaurant has had a taste of his own medicine and he doesn't like it. A fake version of his recipe book has appeared at markets, tons of genuine recipes and colour pictures of his dishes. According to Oliver's publisher Penguin, the fake book - called Return of the Naked Chef - you can pick up the fake book for £9 instead of £14.

The BBC has dropped so called chef Jamie after he refused to stop selling his sole (and soul) to Sainsburys. We think Jamie who probably had a backward upbringing has a strange obsession with Sainsbury's, he just worships the supermarket company. Last issue of London Calling we claimed he was a Sainsbury's whore and if you are about to have your beans on toast with balsamic vinegar don't read on as we have just learned that recently Oliver's mother, father and grandmother
have joined him and his wife Jules in the advertisements. Urgh! Fucking gross.

Next months shocking horror news on Jamie Oliver's NEW rip off restaurant which is two minutes down the road from his.

ANTI-OLYMPIC ACTION
An anti-Olympic demonstration took place on 19 February. About a hundred and fifty people marched from Stratford to Hackney Marshes to protest against the possibility of London getting the 2012 Olympics. Although there was a relatively large police presence, no one got nicked.

One gormless Forward Intelligence Team officer provided some amusement. When it was pointed out to him that his epaulettes were missing a letter (on each shoulder!) he claimed that they had 'run out' of 'C's. More likely there's a thief in his office - or no one likes him and they've fobbed him off with a crap excuse.

Should London get the Olympics, large parts of working class East London will be adversely affected. We strongly encourage all members and supporters to attend any future anti-Olympic activities, so that this threat to our communities can be averted.

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THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
We received the following email concerning the article about the Hackney Empire in February's London Calling:

I just wanted to say that the statements you have made against the Empire are not only wrong but ludicrous. As a regular I am well aware of the programming and it is as diverse as the community surrounding it. The booking fees are a quarter of those at Ocean or through Ticketmaster and actually twelve pound fifty is not a lot to pay for a show that costs a lot to put on. As far as I am aware the Ocean did not go bust because of the
cost of tickets, but because of poor management and the lack of a tube in Hackney: big names would not come to Hackney as they made a loss. Every Friday night for example the Empire runs a talent show with a predominately black audience, followed on a Saturday night by a comedy night with some of the biggest names in the UK performing for just ten pound fifty. Plus the ticket offer is available for all Hackney workers or those who live there and is there to encourage the local community.
It must cost a fortune to run a venue of its size and the arts council are hardly generous, in fact Hackney Council wanted to sell it on some years ago to make way for a car park!
Whilst I agree that theatre must be accessible to all, especially the locals in Hackney, the prices are set to only cover costs, not make a profit and have at no time have I ever felt that it is too expensive or that there are not shows for everyone. Your comments are absurd and ignorant of the venue and the staff who try so hard to make the venue accessible. With people like you putting it down, it is no wonder people stay away. My advice is to call the box office to find out of 2-4-1 offers on shows and
discounts for groups etc as I hear they are running offers on the Friday and sat night shows at the moment. But hey, I am sure they appreciate the attention your article may get them, at least if anyone who reads it calls up they can be put right by the staff there, who I might add are very helpful.

Melanie

London Calling replies:

Firstly, let's take a look at what diverse shows we can see in February so we can see if our claims are wrong and ludicrous. Well, we can sit and listen to ex-Labour minister Mo Mowlan, Anuna, the original voices of Riverdance (tickets costing twelve fifty), the Viennese Strauss Gala (tickets twelve fifty), or The Hackney Proms (tickets a tenner).
So there's three shows we can see if we like listening to opera, and there's us thinking everyone in Hackney listens to Eminem. Very diverse, Melanie.
OK, we can book through Ticketmaster - who actually charge a two fifty booking fee - or from the Empire, who charge a 50p booking fee. Therefore a cost of up to fifteen quid, plus a crapaccino in the bar, puts the cost at seventeen fifty per person. Despite Melanie's protestations, we think it is a lot to pay especially if you are on benefits or a low income, which many Hackney residents are.
(Choice is fine, if you can afford it.)

If you are so concerned about why locals laugh at the shows you put on maybe you should try asking them what they want. Perhaps using local talent and cheaper seats would increase sales instead of trying to attract only middle class bohemians. Also, what the hell is that bar doing there? Throughout Hackney the Empire's bar is well-known as the most expensive in the area, charging West End prices. Is it for the locals? We have no choice but to go to the local Wetherspoon's. There's also free parking for people going to the Empire, and we've seen a lot of customers arrive in a taxi (black cabs!) or use the free parking and leave quicker than they have arrived. Local businesses see nothing of the Empire's customers, who bring nothing into the local community.
This is just another instance of gentrification in Hackney, in which no concern is shown for what the majority of local people in the borough want.

Finally, you mentioned that the Arts Council aren't generous, but they are only one of your eighteen backers though. BP are another, and they've a terrible history of oppressing people in third world countries. Still you can always fall back on your corporate parties and help towards anorexia with your cat walk shows. Very ethical and diverse indeed.

MERCHANDISE
We have a wide selection of badges for sale. Visit the website to view the designs.
For a full merchandise list, please write to the London address.
Remember, on all merchandise orders, please make cheques/POs payable to "LONDON CLASS WAR" only.

DIARY DATES
There are loads of benefit gigs coming up at The Grosvenor pub in Stockwell, during February and March. More details from
 http://www.eroding.org.uk/brixtonscum.htm
Arcola Theatre, 27 Arcola Street, London E8 2DJ T; 020 7503 16 46

Saturday 5 March To mark the 20th anniversary of the end of the miners strike, Doncaster will host a rally and social asking "Where have we been,
where are we now, where are we going?" It starts at 6pm, and the address is: The Old Club, Market Place, Stainforth, Doncaster. www.minersadvice.co.uk

Sunday 6 March 7pm London CW meeting, at a top central London location.

Saturday 19 March Kraankindersstraat 2, Ghent, Belgium. (starting at 10.00am) there will be the 5th edition of the International Alternative Bookfair. The fair offers a forum for non-commercial publishers, bookshops, etc, which are not taken into consideration in normal circuits. There will also be readings, book presentations, performances and film showings.More information can be found on the Internet site:  http://www.aboekenbeurs.be. CLASS WAR ALSO
HAVE A STALL THERE, FOR THE THIRD YEAR RUNNING.

Wednesday to Friday, 6-8 July G8, Gleneagles, Scotland. Events happening across Scotland, more information nearer the time.

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