Hi-tech Greenwash Guerrillas struggle to stem tide of greenwash oozing from Shell Chairman's Greenpeace Business Lecture, London, 25.1.05
GGs protest and survive Shell g'wash onslaught
Radical street furniture
G'wash levels already dangerously high even before Shell boss fills screen
The 4th Greenpeace Business Lecture took place on Tuesday 25th January 2005 at the Royal Society of Arts and was delivered by Lord Oxburgh, Chairman of Shell. Greenpeace Business said in advance that ‘The lecture will focus on the future of oil companies in the light of growing evidence on the dangers of climate change.’
Wearing protective radiation suits and wielding top-of-the-range (home-made more like) greenwash detection and clean-up equipment, The Greenwash Guerrillas were on site to declare the event a 'Toxic Greenwash Hazard'. Passers-by and would-be attendees were advised to move away from the building, while those insisting on entry were warned that direct physical contact with the levels of ‘Corporate Social Responsibility’ (CSR) anticipated could cause long-term damage to spiritual health. Not to mention the likelihood of becoming a bit-player in a Shell-choreographed CSR soap opera. Sadly, none took this advice - perhaps the gas masks made it too hard to decipher.
A banner reading ‘TOXIC GREENWASH HAZARD’ (with the ‘A’ of ‘GREENWASH’ an oil derrick pumping out flames and clouds of CO2) was tied to the railings of the very fancy Royal Society of Arts. One operative detected high levels of greenwash below street level. ‘They’re smuggling Oxburgh in through the sewer!’ cried another, a theory which could not be verified at time of writing.
At one point, who should be seen stepping from a black cab but Dr. Robin Bidwell, Chairman of Environmental Resources Management (about whom, see our spoof website of a few years back at www.erm-concerns.com) He expressed no regrets for his company’s complicity in laundering BP’s Baku-Ceyhan pipeline, and wouldn’t be drawn about the number of contracts with BP had been lost since his offices were occupied in 2002/3.
Soon after, the freezing Guerrillas were thrilled to feel the heat of righteous indignation coursing through their veins as a Shell public relations representative emerged onto the steps and began to instigate a little dialogue. ‘Oil companies can save the planet, (if their shareholders will let them)’, he declared, before being wrapped in hazard tape…through which he kept spouting top-drawer corp-speak, swearing on his mother’s SUV that Shell was ‘trying really hard’, and ‘really, really cared’ about the climate. The GG’s were stunned into silence by this bare-faced display – either that or they were smart enough not to be lulled by the prospect of ‘having their say’ at the big mahogany boardroom table of power. (One who was tempted had to be disinfected by a less credulous colleague.)
Rumours that this Shell rep was a plant to create a little frisson of a full and frank exchange of views are a shocking barrel of lies.
Most attendees were drawn from the world of oil companies, renewables companies, big NGOs, media and politics. Almost all accepted a non-toxic leaflet while some stopped to talk through the issues, often implacably opposed to Shell and determined to throw Oxburgh a tough question. One asked if we were Greenpeace picketing Shell, as did an Independent reporter; there’s nothing like a little confusion to get the issues to show up in a clearer light.
As the punters queued to enter the lecture, a few GGs took advantage of their protective clothing to accept a Greenpeace Business offer to come inside and watch the lecture on the live video feed. At first they just checked the room for high but manageable levels of greenwash. But once Oxburgh came on screen, the equipment was under too much pressure, so they beat a swift retreat. This equipment is cutting edge, high-tech prototype stuff on its first outing, and we need it to be in good order for the doubtless large numbers of events which we will have to attend and contribute our unpaid, unsung public service. This is the year of the G8 in the UK after all, so unprecedented levels of climate-related greenwash will be sticking to our shoes all the way to July at least.
For that reason, (nothing at all to do with the biting January wind), we decided to retreat tactically to a nearby hostelry to wash away dangerous internal traces of Shell greenwash that might have evaded our anti-Shell suits earlier on.
MESSAGE FROM THE GREENWASH GUERRILLAS (distributed outside lecture)
Shell vs. planet
WARNING! - you are within choking distance of a serious spillage of ultra-powerful super-sophisticated extra-toxic Shell greenwash. (Greenwash = environmental whitewash.) Tonight, Lord Ron Oxburgh, Shell Chairman, delivers the Greenpeace Business Lecture on ‘People, Climate and Natural Resources’. We trust you have brought your gas mask & sick bag.
In terms of climate chaos, the solution is simple: LPG (Leave Petroleum in the Ground). And in the battle against greenwash, here’s another simple acronym: DBI – Don’t Buy It. If not, then we will see the gradual selling out of all meaningful opposition to industry and government-peddled fossil fuel madness. You can’t put a price on the atmosphere, and market environmentalism will not prevent market-driven catastrophes.
FOUR EXAMPLES FROM OVER A CENTURY OF PLUNDER:
* Growth at all costs? Shell ‘has promised to close the growing gap with rivals such as BP and ExxonMobil by finding new reserves equal to 100 per cent of the oil and gas it pulls from the ground on average for the next four years.’
Action aims to restore reserves, FT, 19.1.05.
* Nigerian destruction: 2005 is the 10th anniversary of the Shell-sanctioned murder of Ken Saro-Wiwa; ‘Shell’s commitment to corporate social responsibility looks shallow in the light of the sustained misery of the people of the Niger Delta.’
Sustained misery - Shell in the Niger Delta; www.christian-aid.org.uk
* Iraqi sell-off: ‘Oil majors, including Shell and BP, are moving closer to establishing a long-term presence in Iraq…it emerged yesterday.’
Shell advert seeks 'our man in Iraq', Gdn 11.8.04.
* Sakhalin sacrificed: ‘Clean up the oil spill, not just your image, campaigners tell Shell’; www.sakhalin.environment.ru/en/sakhalin2/msakhalin.html
With many civil society groups climbing into bed with rapacious, PR-savvy corporations, it’s a relief to know that Greenpeace will never take corporate cash. But Shell has pulled off an invaluable coup in appearing to have tamed the group best known for anti-oil direct action.
Since Big Oil’s triple bottom line is profit, profit & profit, since it is trained to lie to protect that profit, and since it has no place in a sustainable, socially just future, we look forward eagerly to news of Greenpeace and other direct actions on Shell, (not to mention BP, Exxon, SustainAbility et al) in the future. After all, there’s no such thing as a good oil company.
Let The Greenwash Guerrillas know what you think, c/o
Mal Branded or Jude Boynton from London Rising Tide:
london@risingtide.org.uk c/o 62 Fieldgate Street, London E1 1ES
Tel: 07708 794665 londonrisingtide.org.uk See also risingtide.org.uk
Wearing protective radiation suits and wielding top-of-the-range (home-made more like) greenwash detection and clean-up equipment, The Greenwash Guerrillas were on site to declare the event a 'Toxic Greenwash Hazard'. Passers-by and would-be attendees were advised to move away from the building, while those insisting on entry were warned that direct physical contact with the levels of ‘Corporate Social Responsibility’ (CSR) anticipated could cause long-term damage to spiritual health. Not to mention the likelihood of becoming a bit-player in a Shell-choreographed CSR soap opera. Sadly, none took this advice - perhaps the gas masks made it too hard to decipher.
A banner reading ‘TOXIC GREENWASH HAZARD’ (with the ‘A’ of ‘GREENWASH’ an oil derrick pumping out flames and clouds of CO2) was tied to the railings of the very fancy Royal Society of Arts. One operative detected high levels of greenwash below street level. ‘They’re smuggling Oxburgh in through the sewer!’ cried another, a theory which could not be verified at time of writing.
At one point, who should be seen stepping from a black cab but Dr. Robin Bidwell, Chairman of Environmental Resources Management (about whom, see our spoof website of a few years back at www.erm-concerns.com) He expressed no regrets for his company’s complicity in laundering BP’s Baku-Ceyhan pipeline, and wouldn’t be drawn about the number of contracts with BP had been lost since his offices were occupied in 2002/3.
Soon after, the freezing Guerrillas were thrilled to feel the heat of righteous indignation coursing through their veins as a Shell public relations representative emerged onto the steps and began to instigate a little dialogue. ‘Oil companies can save the planet, (if their shareholders will let them)’, he declared, before being wrapped in hazard tape…through which he kept spouting top-drawer corp-speak, swearing on his mother’s SUV that Shell was ‘trying really hard’, and ‘really, really cared’ about the climate. The GG’s were stunned into silence by this bare-faced display – either that or they were smart enough not to be lulled by the prospect of ‘having their say’ at the big mahogany boardroom table of power. (One who was tempted had to be disinfected by a less credulous colleague.)
Rumours that this Shell rep was a plant to create a little frisson of a full and frank exchange of views are a shocking barrel of lies.
Most attendees were drawn from the world of oil companies, renewables companies, big NGOs, media and politics. Almost all accepted a non-toxic leaflet while some stopped to talk through the issues, often implacably opposed to Shell and determined to throw Oxburgh a tough question. One asked if we were Greenpeace picketing Shell, as did an Independent reporter; there’s nothing like a little confusion to get the issues to show up in a clearer light.
As the punters queued to enter the lecture, a few GGs took advantage of their protective clothing to accept a Greenpeace Business offer to come inside and watch the lecture on the live video feed. At first they just checked the room for high but manageable levels of greenwash. But once Oxburgh came on screen, the equipment was under too much pressure, so they beat a swift retreat. This equipment is cutting edge, high-tech prototype stuff on its first outing, and we need it to be in good order for the doubtless large numbers of events which we will have to attend and contribute our unpaid, unsung public service. This is the year of the G8 in the UK after all, so unprecedented levels of climate-related greenwash will be sticking to our shoes all the way to July at least.
For that reason, (nothing at all to do with the biting January wind), we decided to retreat tactically to a nearby hostelry to wash away dangerous internal traces of Shell greenwash that might have evaded our anti-Shell suits earlier on.
MESSAGE FROM THE GREENWASH GUERRILLAS (distributed outside lecture)
Shell vs. planet
WARNING! - you are within choking distance of a serious spillage of ultra-powerful super-sophisticated extra-toxic Shell greenwash. (Greenwash = environmental whitewash.) Tonight, Lord Ron Oxburgh, Shell Chairman, delivers the Greenpeace Business Lecture on ‘People, Climate and Natural Resources’. We trust you have brought your gas mask & sick bag.
In terms of climate chaos, the solution is simple: LPG (Leave Petroleum in the Ground). And in the battle against greenwash, here’s another simple acronym: DBI – Don’t Buy It. If not, then we will see the gradual selling out of all meaningful opposition to industry and government-peddled fossil fuel madness. You can’t put a price on the atmosphere, and market environmentalism will not prevent market-driven catastrophes.
FOUR EXAMPLES FROM OVER A CENTURY OF PLUNDER:
* Growth at all costs? Shell ‘has promised to close the growing gap with rivals such as BP and ExxonMobil by finding new reserves equal to 100 per cent of the oil and gas it pulls from the ground on average for the next four years.’
Action aims to restore reserves, FT, 19.1.05.
* Nigerian destruction: 2005 is the 10th anniversary of the Shell-sanctioned murder of Ken Saro-Wiwa; ‘Shell’s commitment to corporate social responsibility looks shallow in the light of the sustained misery of the people of the Niger Delta.’
Sustained misery - Shell in the Niger Delta; www.christian-aid.org.uk
* Iraqi sell-off: ‘Oil majors, including Shell and BP, are moving closer to establishing a long-term presence in Iraq…it emerged yesterday.’
Shell advert seeks 'our man in Iraq', Gdn 11.8.04.
* Sakhalin sacrificed: ‘Clean up the oil spill, not just your image, campaigners tell Shell’; www.sakhalin.environment.ru/en/sakhalin2/msakhalin.html
With many civil society groups climbing into bed with rapacious, PR-savvy corporations, it’s a relief to know that Greenpeace will never take corporate cash. But Shell has pulled off an invaluable coup in appearing to have tamed the group best known for anti-oil direct action.
Since Big Oil’s triple bottom line is profit, profit & profit, since it is trained to lie to protect that profit, and since it has no place in a sustainable, socially just future, we look forward eagerly to news of Greenpeace and other direct actions on Shell, (not to mention BP, Exxon, SustainAbility et al) in the future. After all, there’s no such thing as a good oil company.
Let The Greenwash Guerrillas know what you think, c/o
Mal Branded or Jude Boynton from London Rising Tide:
london@risingtide.org.uk c/o 62 Fieldgate Street, London E1 1ES Tel: 07708 794665 londonrisingtide.org.uk See also risingtide.org.uk
Comments
Hide the following 8 comments
Leave it in the Ground - Don't Buy It
29.01.2005 18:05
curious
Ah, the old "keep the people inactive by guilt-crippling 'em" ploy...
29.01.2005 22:44
This ingenious system has a way of making us all participants, willing or not. If you are alive, you are part of it. If you are alive and part of it and resist it in whatever ways you can, you have my super secular non-papal 'good on you' Saturday night blessing.
Love,
Jeremiah
PS. Smartarse that I am, I cycled to the action on a bike that was second-hand when I bought it in 1996. I am, however, still a (self-loving) hypocrite
Ronnie's guilt-free twin brother Jeremiah
Homepage:
http://www.donttaketheguilt-trip.co.uk
Ah, the old "keep the people inactive by guilt-crippling 'em" ploy...
30.01.2005 00:27
This ingenious system has a way of making us all participants, willing or not. If you are alive, you are part of it. If you are alive and part of it and resist it in whatever ways you can, you have my super secular non-papal 'good on you' Saturday night blessing.
Love,
Jeremiah
PS. Smartarse that I am, I cycled to the action on a bike that was second-hand when I bought it in 1996. I am, however, still a (self-loving) hypocrite
Ronnie's guilt-free twin brother Jeremiah
Homepage:
http://www.donttaketheguilttrip.co.uk
more photos/video on way?
01.02.2005 13:55
-
Practical Light-Powered Vehicles Invented
20.02.2005 22:53
This is a petition we will be circulating with French translation included, to STOP oli-corp GREENWASH at the BIG "After-Kyoto" International Convention in Montreal this December! RISING TIDE and ALL SERIOUS ZERO-POLLUTION Activists are invited!
- SOLAR LIGHT-POWERED VEES WILL BE PRESENT!!!
- DOWN WITH FUEL-BURNING MOTOR CARS FOREVER!!!!!
The QUEBEC and CANADA ZERO EMISSIONS PETITION:
The people of Quebec realize that we can become the first ZERO-POLLUTION society on Earth.
We Quebecois, Canuks, and all visionaries of world unity living here, are resolved to carry this possibilty into FACT:
To become the first to fully realize "The Intent of Kyoto".
- To this end we demand as prelimary, that the GOVERNMENT of CANADA; and the GOVERNMENT of QUEBEC, DESIST, CEASE FROM and END all environmental funding of companies and corporations having any connection to FUEL and/or FUEL-BURNING VEHICLES including Nuclear FUEL RODS. This policy to become active and operant pertaining to any and all funds received from Kyoto proceedures, and from any and all funds realized subsequent to any and all International environmental agreements that may supercede Kyoto.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Signed: Address: Email:
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
Jan Cleer
e-mail:
Dekzster_D@Hotmail.com
Practical Light-Powered Vehicles Invented
20.02.2005 23:10
The MiniVee winter test no.2
This is a petition we will be circulating with French translation included, to STOP oil-corp GREENWASH at the BIG "After-Kyoto" International Convention in Montreal this December! RISING TIDE and ALL SERIOUS ZERO-POLLUTION Activists are invited!
- SOLAR LIGHT-POWERED VEES WILL BE PRESENT!!!
- DOWN WITH FUEL-BURNING MOTOR CARS FOREVER!!!!!
The QUEBEC and CANADA ZERO EMISSIONS PETITION:
The people of Quebec realize that we can become the first ZERO-POLLUTION society on Earth.
We Quebecois, Canuks, and all visionaries of world unity living here, are resolved to carry this possibilty into FACT:
To become the first to fully realize "The Intent of Kyoto".
- To this end we demand as prelimary, that the GOVERNMENT of CANADA; and the GOVERNMENT of QUEBEC, DESIST, CEASE FROM and END all environmental funding of companies and corporations having any connection to FUEL and/or FUEL-BURNING VEHICLES including Nuclear FUEL RODS. This policy to become active and operant pertaining to any and all funds received from Kyoto proceedures, and from any and all funds realized subsequent to any and all International environmental agreements that may supercede Kyoto.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Signed: Address: Email:
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
Jan Cleer
e-mail:
Dekzster_D@Hotmail.com
the eastern front
22.02.2005 18:08
Gareth
e-mail:
ga_willums@yahoo.com
What the fuck are Greenpeace doing
23.02.2005 10:19
What the fuck are Greenpeace playing at? Will they go the way of so many 'civil society' reformist movements? One has only to plot the trajectory of the repulsive Jonathan Porrit to get a glimpse of one potential future. This one time critic of capitalist depravity has now become the suave prophet of business partnership, happily greenwashing his corporate customers at 'forum for the future', that's when he's not providing PR advice for the reactionary reptile Prince Charles or his war criminal buddy Tony Blair.
When will these arseholes learn, you can't be respectable and honest at the same time. Fuck business, if this planets to have a future were gonna have to dismantle the tyrannical structures of private ownership and domination anyway, and not try and make a living by getting our collective lips round the corporate boner. Let Porrit suck Satans dick for a living, the rest us should get on with the job of resistance.
Dr Strangelove