Buggered if I know what all the fuss is about. In these days of openly-gay bishops, who gives a toss if the Heir to the Throne bonks a butler or has cunnilingus with a corgi? We already know he wants to be re-incarnated as a tampon.
The Royal Family may not be amused but some of their subjects are! )
Buggered if I know what all the fuss is about. In these days of openly-gay bishops, who gives a toss if the Heir to the Throne bonks a butler or has cunnilingus with a corgi? We already know he wants to be re-incarnated as a tampon.
So what's the big deal?
The joke is on US because we put up with the whole Monarchy show. Surely it has now descended to little more than another long-running Soap which should call it a day like Brookside.
Then again, think of the entertainment value! Then again, switch channels. Royality is a dying brand which no longer deserves our loyalty (not that it ever did.)
Buggered if I know what all the fuss is about. In these days of openly-gay bishops, who gives a toss if the Heir to the Throne bonks a butler or has cunnilingus with a corgi? We already know he wants to be re-incarnated as a tampon.
So what's the big deal?
The joke is on US because we put up with the whole Monarchy show. Surely it has now descended to little more than another long-running Soap which should call it a day like Brookside.
Then again, think of the entertainment value! Then again, switch channels. Royality is a dying brand which no longer deserves our loyalty (not that it ever did.)
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A joke I heard
07.11.2003 22:55
The scandal was that Prince Charles was found committing an indecent act with a horse - but it turned out it was Camilla.
joke
sod the royals
07.11.2003 23:42
don't play leapfrog with a unicorn
/just a shout in the street
ukc
Come on give it a break
08.11.2003 12:29
At the end of the day he is our king in waiting.
If there is anything it is probably due to being abused by his dodgy father or at public school.
ram
Royal Standards
09.11.2003 08:03
I agree, he did get ears like that for nothing...
Harry Hewitt
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PS
09.11.2003 08:14
Harry Hewitt
master
09.11.2003 21:00
answers on a post card to
Queen Elizabeth
flat 4
Buckingham palace
baker
poor poor charles
10.11.2003 01:18
Andrew
What's my boy been up to?
10.11.2003 10:15
Philip
ROYAL WATCH: BEHIND THE LODGE DOOR
10.11.2003 12:59
In my last column, I revealed the problems Canary Wharf Tower had created for the royal family because it is soaking up the ancient earth energies from a ley line they'd been tapping into during their black magick rituals. Since the Queen's plot to have the building blown up in a fake 'IRA' bomb outrage was foiled by the Knights of St Thomas, her eldest son has come up with a new plan for tapping into the earth energies that are an essential ingredient of royal power. Charles is secretly campaigning to have a church built inside the pyramid that caps the top of the tower. The ancient energies generated by the ley line on which the building was constructed are concentrated in this pyramid before being thrown out into space. By holding black masses in the pyramid, the prince believes he will accumulate fantastic powers.
Leading anglican clergy have been enlisted to float the plan for a church at the top of the tower. In a recent public lecture given at the Dockers Club, Richard Chartres - the new Bishop of Stepney - discussed plans to rationalise the use of church properties in the East End. Among other things, he said that churches which are no longer needed should be demolished rather than converted to other uses or left to decay. The Bishop explained that abandoned churches symbolise the increasing secularisation of society. Rather conveniently, a policy of destroying unwanted ecclesiastical properties would enable the royals to make alterations to the flow of earth energies along various ley lines. Chartres also announced a plan to build a church on a barge so that it could be moved around as it was needed. Again, this would make the channelling of ancient energies a more flexible operation. Finally, the Bishop revealed his belief that a church should be built in the pyramid that caps the Canary Wharf Tower!
Until these plans are realised, Prince Charles is temporarily using the library of Sion College as a London venue for occult activities. The college is situated near Blackfriars Bridge, on the corner of Embankment and John Carpenter Street. The premises are shared with the City Livery Club, making it an important centre of ruling class activity. It's unclear whether Geoffrey Brown, president of the college, knows what Charlie gets up to in the library. However, the Rev. Dr Thomas White who founded Sion College is notorious among conspiracy theorists as both a mason and a black magician. Among other indications of lodge activity still evident in the library are three masonic chairs. The seat used by the Prince of Wales bears the name Athelstan, a particularly cruel saxon king who ruled from 925 to 940. The chairs that flank this throne are both inscribed with the number 19, a reference to an occult system of dividing the year into 19 months of 19 days with four days left over for solstice and equinox celebrations.
While Charles caused something of a stir among ordinary masons when he refused to join the United Grand Lodge, he is now the head of an organisation that broke away from the notorious P2 lodge and subsequently set up its own 'Greek rite'. Major ceremonials of this irregular lodge entail young boys being sodomised and disemboweled. These rituals rarely take place in London because disposal of the bodies can be problematic in an urban area. However, such murders are an essential part of the prince's occult programme and generally take place in remote parts of the world. A double regularly replaces Charlie at public events, so that he is free to participate in black magic rituals without arousing any suspicions about his evil exploits among the British population. Parents of boys aged between eight and fourteen should keep them under close supervision in the week leading up to the summer solstice. Failure to do so could result in their abduction and murder as a part of the prince's occult activities.
First published in Underground 2 Summer 1993.
neo
ROYAL WATCH: THE LAST CRUSADE
10.11.2003 13:08
After four hundred odd years in which the Vatican and the British monarchy have attempted to out manoeuvre each other on the geo-political field, each of these combatants is fatally weakened. New powers are emerging who believe that it is their turn to control the destiny of the world. The British commonwealth is falling apart, with republican support swelling in Australia and the Caribbean. If South Africa places itself once again under the dominion of the House of Windsor, this is merely a temporary aberration, an exception that proves the rule.
Meanwhile, the Vatican is losing its grip on power in traditional strongholds such as Ireland. The case of Father Brendan Smyth is just the latest in a long series of paedophile scandals to rock the Irish Church. Naturally, the mainstream media fails to report that the ritual abuse of children forms part of an occult operation designed to restore the glory of the Catholic Church. Nevertheless, without knowing the full background to these botched ritual workings, the Irish masses are revolted by the utter corruption of their religious leaders and as a consequence, the ChurchÕs grip on the state has been severely weakened. The decline of Irish theocracy is evident from the passing of bills that liberalise the law with regard to both homosexuality and abortion, something which the Catholic hierarchy vehemently opposes. Meanwhile, the US government, which has completely broken with its long time mentors in the Royal Family and the City of London, is looking to Eire as a potential military base from where it can do battle with its chief rival in the northern hemisphere, the newly united Germany Ñ hence ClintonÕs rapprochement with Gerry Adams.
Prince Charles is so angry with the US government for refusing orders from his family that he lambasted Americans for the way they speak English at a recent British Council reception. The barmy heir to the throne was widely reported as saying: ÔPeople tend to invent all sorts of nouns and verbs and make words that shouldnÕt be. I think we have to be a bit careful, otherwise the whole thing can get rather a mess.Õ The loony pro-Catholic AcadŽmie Francaise saw the princeÕs intervention as an opportunity to wreck the English language by halting its mutational development, something theyÕve already done for their own tongue, and were quick to get an article published in the Spring issue of The Author, the trade journal for British writers.
In this piece, arch Catholic reactionary Maurice Druon ranted: ÔWhat disturbs and alarms us is the parallel erosion of our two languages. Loose your language and you loose your soul... we would like to make sure that our two languages retained a touch of dignity. The vocabulary and syntax of both our languages are polluted by an idiom derived from English which I call anglo-ricain, Amerenglish. It flows like a dark tide through the audio-visual media... a jumble of abbreviations, quasi-phonetically simplified spellings, slap-dash neologisms, botched etymology, grammar disregarded, vulgarity promoted... It triumphs because it is the language of the dollar... What is to be done... in order to check the rising tide of pollution in the northern hemisphere?Õ
This attempt to entice Charles into the Catholic camp was doomed to failure because his head was already turned elsewhere. Charles has tired of sodomising young boys in his satanic rituals, and heÕs sick to the guts that these magickal workings have failed to bring about a world-wide occult theocracy headed by the House of Windsor. In desperation, the Prince has gone back to the source of Western ritual magick, those Islamic cum Sufi practices that were picked up by the Templars during the twelfth-century crusades and then passed on in a corrupted form to the Freemasons. In particular, Charles has given himself over to Ôimaginal yoga and sacred paedophiliaÕ. In other words, heÕs now utilising the utterly sick Persian practice of contemplating young boys as sex objects, while simultaneously resisting the hormonal urges this creates and instead using the resultant sexual energy for magickal purposes. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, the innocent children rounded up for the PrinceÕs amusement are still murdered to prevent them from exposing his sick perversions.
This is why Charlie told a London conference on BritainÕs place in the world that the country should learn to appreciate Islamic culture and become a Ôbridge builderÕ between Muslims and the West. ÔThis,Õ the Prince went on to say, Ôcould not be done without a willingness on our part to learn from the world of Islam and to balance our innate pragmatism with an acute awareness of the vital importance of the things of the Spirit.Õ This is a last crusade for the monarchy, which wants to return to the source of its magickal powers and thereby renew them. The problem Prince Charles faces is that this source is itself exhausted. While Europe needed the knowledge that seeped into its feudal society from the Arab world to pull itself out of the dark ages, the Middle East long ago ceased to be the home of the most advanced civilisation known to man. The House of WindsorÕs days are numbered, with the Vatican finding itself in the same predicament, the future of our world lies on the Pacific Rim.
First published in Underground 6 Summer 1995.
one o
NEO
Fuckingham Palace Rule #1
10.11.2003 14:51
Chromodynamix
How big is ur dunda?
10.11.2003 18:12
Have you never noticed that i do not resemble you in the slightest "papa"! HarHarHarHar.....
And as i'm currently in the navy, what do u suggets do i give or receive? Does giving make me gay?
Old Willy reckons that grandmama (queenie) shagged a donkey and thats how you came about? so i guess it makes sense that you enjoy doing it "doggy style"
Yours lovingly,
Harry Hewitt (Windsor if you insist)
Bonkingham Palace
W69 Y34H
Prince Willy
Peasants
15.11.2003 00:32
But a large part of you seem to be a bunch of irritated working class peasants! The royal family's life is a ray of sunshine compared to any of yours. Give them a break.
Kaiotti
Kaiotti