It seems that any group with the words 'Defence League' in their name is composed exclusively of nutters. At least this co-incidence makes it easier to avoid them.

They're all madder than me, and I'm as mad as cheese!

Unfortunately the MDL are being taken seriously by the UAF. The UAF are hosting a march on 6th November against racism and Islamophobia. Perhaps they want to start thinking about anti Semitism.
"Shitter MDL" has hastily changed his name to Mikee MDL but lets face it who wants a leader calling himself "Shitter" in the first place?
The anti Semitism is worrying. The MDL are drawing youth into their movement. Fatima Bint Ali is still at school. The MDL are grooming kids into becoming anti-Semites.

I am the senior commander of the EDL.

I wish to announce that I have married a muslim woman and wish to state that I will, as a result, be converting to Islam with immediate effect.

I realise that this may come as a shock to many of my loyal followers. I also realise that many of my stormtroopers will be bitterly disappointed that I have abandoned them.

But after much reflection in the pub (and several heart-felt pints) I have come to the conclusion that Islam is much better than aimlessly trying to impress my mates by claiming that I am defending England from the non-existant hordes of muslim's that are trying to invade my home country.

The problem is that we have made this up. We hatched the plan one day because we were bored and felt the need to have something to do. The footy season had ended and we were having problems picking up birds.

We made this up because we knew that many of our friends have never gone to school and will believe any old crap that's put in front of them, especially if it involves brown people. On reflection, this was stupid and has made us look a bit of an embarrassment.

My wedding is to take place on December 25th which, as many of you will know, is Christmas day so I expect to follow my wedding with a period of believing that i am the new messiah. For that reason I will be taking to wearing a long white gown, growing my hair long and not shaving my beard. I plan to begin wearing sandals.

So to the divisions of the EDL I offer my heartfelt apologies and my condolences for the fact I have completely wasted your time. I now realise that the 'leftists' are well meaning people who have a job to do and we have only wasted their time. Above all, they don't like Israel, which is completely reasonable and entirely in line with public opinion. This is Israels fault not the 'leftists'.

So to my loyal divisional commanders and SS Fuhrer-Hooliganzen I would like to issue the command to stand down instead of continuing on with our thousand year plan. That probably wasn't going to work anyway and even if it did, I am informed that the petty cash tin won't stretch that far anyway.

Goodbye and farewell my brave Waffen-Bender.



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