Adolf Hitler had one testicle. Tommy "The Tit" Robinson has none. When you rip off a hard-man movement you pretend to be part of and yet cower in the shadows, you are nothing than a cowardly pretender. The only hooligan action he has ever got involved in, was yet another appropriation of the culture for his own endgame. Back in 2010, he encouraged a bunch of pissheads from Luton to crawl over parked cars and swagger towards Newport County fans, chanting "EDL till I die", a flaccid half-baked action which, though he personally exchanged no punches whatsoever, he bragged about over and over again on Facebook to make himself appear hard. A three year football ground ban earned for his pathetic piece of street theatre was thus milked dry through merchandising rights, cash registers pinging whilst bank balances soared, all the while, the greedy little fiend keeping his distance from the tax man.

Being of Irish heritage, whilst on remand for breach of bail, parasitic little Tommy Tit thought it would be fun to rip off the serious struggles of Irish Republicans to attempt his very own hunger strike. Not over inhumane imprisonment, or being denied a political voice, but over the flimsy premise that his food might possibly, at a stretch of the imagination, be halal. Tommeh's "hunger strike" lasted an incredible, amazing 24 hours before his poor little belly began to throb, and not having mummy close-by to comfort him, he gave it up and resumed prison grub ASAP. Celebrating his release soon afterwards, all ideology went out of the window as he goosestepped to the nearest Nando's to tuck heartily into a bowl of halal-blessed chicken.

Rather than stand his ground like a man when confronted by Muslim prisoners who took exception of his life in the EDL, Tommeh joined Quilliam before his post-trial imprisonment, selling out any remaining "principles" to save himself from trouble during his incarceration for mortgage fraud, besides lining his pockets with Quilliam cash. Whilst inside, to avoid confrontation, he described Muslims inmates as being "great lads". He remarked, coweringly, "I cannot speak highly enough of the Muslim inmates I'm now living with."

Since joining Pegida, Tommy Tit has turned middle class, sniffing around on the shirt tails of UKIP businessmen and women who struggle to turn a blind eye to allegations of the Tit's drug-dealing. Watch little Tommy Tit snigger with self-satisfaction as he continues to grass up working class plebs to the cops as a ready means of career progression. Loyalty counts for nothing in the far right. Adding the word "unity" to a flier, while his sole intent is to wipe out all rival far right groups, smacks of sheer desperation. Knowing there are moronic mugs out there willing to give the bum a second chance, helps Tommy Tit sleep better at night. Of course he sheds no tears for the dozens of Birmingham EDL rioters who he helped separate from their families for Christmas time a few years ago.

Once Tommeh's undeclared earnings have been shamelessly frittered away on gambling, champagne and white powder, and he needs to reload, it's time to unveil the next scam. Pegida UK is a nice little moneyspinner whilst he is paid to speak at Dresden rallies by gullible Germans who seriously believe his hype. Only a "muggy mushroom" as Kousin Kev Karroll (KKK) would put it, would fall for this guff. Rubbing shoulders with the Czech Prime Minister boosted his ego to oblivion, and nothing short of every nationalist sucking him dry on hands and knees, will now do. Tommy's latest fliers show the egotist from Luton raised upwards to the heavens, towering high above his inconsequential followers as a supreme being. Being an immortal deity, he now has a god-given right to shy away from fighting when trouble breaks out, leaving the risky business to mortally expendable beings who cling religiously to their divine organiser's every word.

It's all gone to Tommeh Tit's head, as the Pegida Power Trip rolls into Brum. Who needs God or Allah when there's forthcoming cheap and tacky Pegida UK hoodies to be purchased at rip-off prices by loyal ex-EDL attendees who will turn up to his rallies, devoutly relishing every moment whilst he points them out one-by-one out to the cops, having them brutalised, arrested and handcuffed, and taken into custody.

NO PASARAN!