Smiling, laughter and merriment will be strictly banned at Pegida UK's solemn Forth Reich marches, as is all alcohol and unauthorised flags and signs. Growler will be "taking on ISIS" by imposing her very own brand of Sharia Law. From the first moment gullible EDLers turn up on a "Goweriga March", they will be subject to intense scrutiny, and anyone so much as breathing a word of discontent as to Lel's motives, will be pointed out to stewards and police, from which they will be unceremoniously frogmarched to the nearest cell. As will be anyone making fun of the poisonous pensioner's control-freakery.

Penned into Ms Gower's plans for global supremacy, EDL converts will be forced to worship only one god, the hallowed deity that is Tommeh. Talk of Yaxo's Dresden salary and merchandising rights will be viewed as blasphemy, and offenders will be named and shamed on the Pegida UK Facebook page, and employers will be contacted. Grassing is in both Tommy and Gower's blood, and long will it flow freely and thickly, as Pegida ensure all march attendees are humble, devoted and blinkered to what is going on behind the scenes.

Since passing on damning info about errant EDL members to antifascist orgs in order to wreck her former beloved EDL (for financial gain), including screenshots and Facebook account logins, sabotaging the remnants of the EDL's social media into oblivion, Tommy's organ grinder has been busily cranking up her next tune - and Tommy will dance dutifully as pound signs materialise before their greedy faux-nationalist eyes. Having sold his soul to the Quilliam Foundation for cash, he and puppeteer Gower are gearing up to get their grubby paws on Pegida UK's mechanising rights, as pacified former footie hooligans are being sobered up, and radicalised into walking, talking ATM machines.

#growler #gowergida #helengowerorgangrinder #policegrasses #lols