Skip to content or view screen version

Putin Shoots Down South Korean Cellphone Giant

Ras Ramsay | 12.10.2015 12:49 | Fracking | Globalisation | Technology | World


The Russian government has declined a major business application by a Seoul-based electronics corporation. A Kremlin spokesman said on state television a plan to open duty-free shops along the Russian borders to allow neighbouring customers to benefit from exchange rate shake-ups was not feasible to foster sustainable investment. The plan had been developed on a background of increased economic instability resulting from intensified trade sanctions. The speaker also declined permits for two projected deep-water drilling sites in the Arctic Sea.

“It´s Bringing Pyramid Schemes To Egypt again. The game is always the same” said a Moscow-based human rights worker. “The post-Stalinist bureaucracy that has flourished so enormously under the current leadership is incapable to decline a nonsensical idea for technical reasons once it paints itself as patriotic. Duty-free shops are a bottleneck logistical concept approbated for ferries and airlines but unsuitable for our multi-dimensional borderlines. Yet Vladimir Vodkaglass at his shabby office desk in suburbia is too fearful to say so without asking his big brother riding the tiger.”

Putin had largely been expected to buy into the plan, as lobbyists suggested the investment could be an influential ally in easing economic sanctions if the value of the Russian currency were to plummet and take consumer prices down as well. But the Kremlin said there were technical reasons as well. The newest generation of so-called smart devices is hardware-configured to put its electromagnetic footprint into frequency bands once owned by Russian scientific exploration programs, and trade admission inside Russia has therefore been put on hold. The frequency bands in question were used by the Soviet space campaign emitting terrestrial and satellite signals out of the solar system from 1957 onward and subsequently remained reserved for response screening since the Yeltsin era.

An internationalist observer in Washington remarked via email:”Goebbels said of Roosevelt that D-Day was a gesture of weakness since he could not get Churchill to do the dirty job for him. But a few months later he was dead, and the forensic details are in our history books. It is criminally stupid to repeat that mistake, all the more so if you have King Stroke watching you closer than his own chronic abscesses, and your voter base eroded by the blowback of your climate failure quicker than the native crayon in Merkel´s home constituency. What diplomats see in this is Ivy Kid Choking On Its Own Alphabet Soup.”

The 1.111.111$ treaty would also have included the disputed border with Eastern Ukraine where separatists have voted themselves away from the Kiev junta. In the proposal it had been suggested that duty-free shops equipped with consumer electronics, body products, wine and outlet stuff were to open to the public in population centres within the disputed area. Collaterally to the announcement, major Western news agencies received phone calls to their trade affairs desks from their network providers asking them to abstain from reporting. The Seoul-based giant argued inappropriate publicity would endanger a comprehensive enhancement of the proposal announced by a corporate spokesperson for next week.

Again the voice from Washington: “Very likely Putin is retaliating for the false flag incident in Ankara. Since disinformation targeting the Russian advance did not work, and at his recent Jakarta visit the just introduced sanction czar was hit by a luxury shoe thrown from a business audience, the intelligence community went to orchestrate something they would like to blame upon Daesh to get the public to lose focus once again. But there are those bomb traces from Bangkok to Turkey, and you can bet the farm that the folks surprising some grumpy guy with a defunct gun in a train are exactly the same who dropped it in front of his house twenty-four hours ago. This time however the covert team diving into the event failed to fetch any medals.”

Ras Ramsay