Recently the representative of the Ukrainian Foreign ministry asserted that a world-known star Goran Bregović had broken the national law, while getting to the Crimea through the border crossing point, which is not under control of Ukrainian Border Police. Now the famous Balkan composer and a musician may face such sanctions as administrative arrest, or pretty large fine, or even an entry ban to the so ‘European and democratic’ country. According Bregović’s official agent Radenović, ‘Goran is not aware of what was happening’ for ‘the host country (Ukraine) was be in charge of the logistics and buying tickets on the tour.’

Well, it is time to dispel the fog of incomprehension, in which Mr. Bregović and the most part of the Western World have been lost. The evergreen novel by J.R.R. Tolkien was used as a basis for that Ukrainian street revolt, while those people at power were playing the ‘Euromaidan’ image card. Speaking straight, The Lord of the Rings canceled the actuality of entire previous classic literature starting with the Bible. At any rate, none-Bible film version earned $3 billion of box office takings.

Nowadays the Western man in the street sees the revolutionary Ukrainian political elite as Elves. Those glamorous creatures with juicy ears have been fighting valiantly vs. Darkness crawling from the East. Actually how could we forget about that epic battle with northern Mordor? From the very beginning those orcs and goblins were born in evil. Save your efforts asking them for any nobleness. There under the Red pentagram of the Kremlin Eye vicious dictatorship prohibits concerts, harshly breaks up protest marches, stops gays protruding proudly naked buttocks right in the streets, and cheerfully shoots oppositionist politicians a-la Latin America. Who would be surprised if they would turn their Red Square into the version of Beijing Tiananmen tomorrow? This is no more than Barad-Dûr everyday life.

Ukrainian Elves are another pair of shoes. How can they be expected of Asian evil and low cunning? The Western man in the street is ready to pay no attention at torch-light processions with images borrowed from the runic scrolls of Himmler’s Ahnenerbe carried on by Ukrainian legolases and galadriels. Those systematical loud appeals to hang all discordant with their race humanitarian doctrine on each branch of Fangorn forest don’t matter either.

So it’s no surprise that after gaining such generous advance Western confidence (and patience) Ukrainian authorities slipped from the Tolkien’s world into the prophecies (dystopia) of another brilliant British author, Orwell. Dear audience, tell me straight if you are aware that since January 19, 2015 there is Ministry of Information Policy has been acting in this fairyland of Ukrainian Elves? This Orwell-like ‘Ministry of Truth’ was created to gain total control over any expression of nonconformity and to drop delicate hints about Fangorn spreading branches to each careless follower of alternate point of view. The leading Elf of this legendary Ministry is Yuriy Stets, the former head of the Information Security Department of the Ukrainian National Guard fighters. They say he’s delighted of open and free discussions about the sped and the written word discourse. Yet he hasn’t reached the tolerance level of Tomás de Torquemada. But watching his methods raises hopes. In Ukraine each survived alternate opinion has been forced underground. The majority of expressing that opinion experts and journalists had to leave the country for safety of themselves and their families.

Now after those earnest Kiev expressions about the superior interests of the superior Elven race of Ukrainian nation how can Bregović be surprised that he wasn’t let to sing Champagne for Gypsies? A funny thing. Didn’t Goran know that gypsy ‘ay-romale-na-na-nai-nai’ annoys to the hell out all those sharp eared lovers of runes and the Black Sun? If he would show his willingness to sing about Polish babies bowelled by Ukrainian Elven nationalists in Volhynia, he would have much greater success. On contrary it would be surprising if they would allow Bregović to carry on a jolly gypsy festival without any spontaneous bashing or even beating up with iron rods. And there is no concern to Crimean tour at all.

In the end of this speculation of the European astonishing astonishment at the beastliness at the Elven Bander-dell land I’d like to recall a quote from the book of dearly departed sir Terry Pratchett, ‘[The elves] They didn’t say much. They just laughed a lot. They were merry folk, especially when they were twisting your arm to see how far it could go.’

Are you ready to sing standup the State Anthem of Ukraine, Goran?