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The Taking of the Stone of Destiny - a screenplay

Michael Dickinson | 16.09.2014 00:46

The story of Scottish nationalist Ian Hamilton's audacious recapture of the Stone of Scone from England in 1950.



"THE STONE OF DESTINY"



FADE IN:

EXT. THE ROYAL MILE IN EDINBURGH - DAY
It’s 1936. People are walking in the street, on their way to and from work, shopping, going into and coming out of public houses.

A middle-aged woman in a sandwich board is walking slowly up the street towards us.

The words on the sandwich board read:

"ENGLAND DISGORGES SOME OF THE LOOT, BUT WHERE IS THE STONE OF DESTINY?"

Curious people turn as they pass. Some smile and give her the thumbs up sign - others frown and shake their heads.

PASSER BY
(explaining to his friend)
That’s Wendy Wood. She’s on the warpath again.

A man with a camera approaches.

REPORTER
Can I have a word, Miss Wood? I’m from The Bulletin.

Wendy stops.

REPORTER (CONTD)
By ‘the loot’ you’ll be meaning the mediaeval Treasury records the English have finally deigned to return to Scotland?

WENDY WOOD
Aye. After our historians politely groveled to them hats in hand. But they’re in no hurry to send back the Stone. God knows how long it’ll be before we see that again. They promised to return it when they took it in 1296 and we’re still waiting!

REPORTER
Let me take your picture. I don’t expect a smile.

He crouches with his camera.

WENDY WOOD
Make sure you get it all in. I’ll not give up hope of seeing the Stone back on Scottish soil. Maybe some brave soul will get up a raiding party one fine day and return it to its rightful home.

REPORTER
You never know, Wendy. You never know.

He takes the picture.


EXT. A SUBURBAN STREET IN PAISLEY - DAY
A newspaper boy on his bicycle dismounts in front of a semi-detached house, walks up the path to the door and stuffs a couple of newspapers through the letterbox.

INT. THE HALLWAY OF THE HAMILTON HOUSEHOLD - DAY
The papers land on the mat, and on the front page of ‘The Bulletin' we see the black and white picture of Wendy Wood and her sandwich board.

INT. THE KITCHEN OF THE HAMILTON HOUSEHOLD – DAY
MRS. HAMILTON, dressed in an apron, is busy making a gooseberry pie. She lines the pie dish with pastry, puts in the gooseberries and sprinkles them with sugar, then spreads flour on the table to prepare rolling dough for the cover.

IAN HAMILTON, a nine year old schoolboy, comes in from the living room with 'The Bulletin' in his hand.

IAN
Mum, what’s the Stone of Destiny?

MRS HAMILTON
(glancing at the picture)
Ah, Wendy Wood! What a woman! Scotland could do with more like her.


She begins rolling the dough out flat and thin. She continues preparing the pie as she talks.

MRS HAMILTON (CONTD)
"Unless the fates shall faithless prove,
And prophets voice be vain,
Where’er this sacred Stone is found,
The Scottish race shall reign."

IAN
Huh? Did you say ‘sacred’?


Ian flops into a comfortable old armchair with the paper in his hand and listens to his mother.

MRS HAMILTON
That’s right. You know the story of Jacob in the Bible, when he had the dream of the angels ascending and descending their heavenly ladder?

Ian nods.



MRS HAMILTON (CONTD)
Well, the Stone is supposed to be Jacob’s pillow - the one he rested his head on when he had the dream.


EXT. A WILDERNESS - NIGHT
In Ian’s imagination we see him dressed in a long robe lying with his head on a large stone.

Hearing singing, he opens his eyes and looks up.

Boys and girls dressed as angels, with haloes and wings are climbing up and down a ladder singing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing!"

INT. THE KITCHEN OF THE HAMILTON HOUSEHOLD - DAY
MRS HAMILTON (CONTD)
The ancient Scottish peoples carried it with them when they migrated westward across Europe. The Celtic race thought so much of the Stone that they carried it with them as a symbol of their nationality wherever they went.


EXT. A BARREN HEATHLAND - DAY
Ian is part of a straggling group of boys and girls trudging over a bleak landscape. He is one of the boys carrying the stone, which has greatly increased in size.

INT. THE KITCHEN OF THE HAMILTON HOUSEHOLD - DAY
MRS HAMILTON (CONTD)
It stayed in Ireland for many years and then they brought it to Argyll, long before the time of St Columba. After that every King of Scotland was crowned sitting on it.
"And there have been among us one hundred and ten kings, and not one foreign born among them."

EXT. A CLEARING - DAY
Ian sits on the stone, even bigger than before, surrounded by boys and girls.

A crown is placed on his head.

Ian stands, and the crowd kneels.

CROWD
Hail to the King! Hail to the King!


INT. THE KITCHEN OF THE HAMILTON HOUSEHOLD - DAY
IAN
But why is the Stone in London and not here among the Scots?

MRS HAMILTON

Och, you ken the Wars of Independence you’re always fighting with your toy swords - you and your brother arguing about who’s to be Bruce and who’s to be Wallace? It was during that time that the English king Edward invaded in 1296 and carried it south.


EXT. A BATTLEGROUND - DAY
Boys are fighting with wooden swords.

IAN
I’m Wallace!

BROTHER

No! I’m Wallace! You’re Bruce!

A boy dressed in a crown, wearing a British flag as a cloak sneaks off carrying the Stone - much smaller again.


INT. THE KITCHEN OF THE HAMILTON HOUSEHOLD - DAY
MRS HAMILTON
After the battles were over, and we’d driven them out and made everything secure, the English promised to return the Stone, but they never kept their word.

IAN
Och, that’s not fair! You can’t break a promise! A promise is sacred! They did a terrible thing!

MRS HAMILTON
It is a terrible thing to break a promise. But perhaps they’ve simply left it unfulfilled. They could still make things right by handing it back.

IAN
D’you think they might have forgotten? Six hundred years is a long time.

MRS HAMILTON
There’ll always be people like Wendy Wood to remind them, Ian.

Ian looks at the picture in the paper again.

IAN
Aye.

His gaze wanders up to a framed motto on the wall - "LEARN TO ASPIRE" - 'Benjamin Disraeli.’


IAN (CONTD)
You're right. There will.

INT. THE FOYER OF GLASGOW UNIVERSITY THEATRE - 1950 - NIGHT
We read a poster on a board outside the entrance to the auditorium:

GLASGOW UNIVERSITY DRAMA CLUB PRESENTS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE’S ‘MACBETH’.


INT. THE AUDITORIUM OF THE THEATRE - NIGHT
The theatre is packed with students watching the play, which is coming to the end.

We see the actors on the stage in the final scene.

Soldiers surround Malcolm.

MACDUFF
(brandishing the head of Macbeth)
The time is free:
I see thee compass’d with thy kingdom’s pearl,
That speak my salutation in their minds;
Whose voices I desire aloud with mine:
Hail, King of Scotland!

ALL
Hail, King of Scotland!

As Malcolm speaks his lines we take a look at the students in the audience, pausing briefly on some of the faces we will get to know in the story. They all know each other, but are not sitting together.

We see IAN, now aged 25; KAY MATHIESON, BILL CRAIG, GAVIN VERNON and ALAN STUART.

MALCOLM
We shall not spend a large expense of time
Before we reckon with your several loves,
And make us even with you. My thanes and kinsmen,
Henceforth be earls, the first that ever Scotland
In such an honor named. What’s more to do,
Which would be planted newly with the time,
As calling home our exiled friends abroad
That fled the snares of watchful tyranny,
Producing forth the cruel ministers
Of this dead butcher and his fiend-like queen,
Who, as ‘tis thought, by self and violent hands
Took off her life; this, and what needful else
That calls upon us, by the grace of Grace
We will perform in measure, time and place:
So thanks to all at once and each to one,
Whom we invite to see us crowned at Scone!

BILL
(shoutıng out)
You’d better get there quick then, before the Sassenachs pinch the Stone!

The audience reacts in different ways, turning round to see who shouted. Some frown, but most laugh and cheer good-naturedly. Bill is president of the Union and a very popular fellow. He smiles and shrugs to those around him.

Ian stares at him intently with a serious expression.

The actors are a little non-plussed at the interruption, but Bill begins the applause. He rises, and the audience follows suit, giving the performers a standing ovation. They bow gratefully.


INT. THE STUDENT'S UNION BAR - NIGHT
The play over, most of the audience are now at the bar. The staff is trying to cope with the sudden crowd. Ian is among the scrimmage, struggling to order a drink.

GAVIN
(from behind)
Ian! Ian!

Ian turns round.

GAVIN (CONTD)
Are you being served?

IAN
Nearly.

GAVIN
(passing him a half-crown)
Get us a pint, will you? I’ll try and find us a seat.

Amongst the bottles of drink on the shelves behind the bar Ian’s focus is pulled to the label on a bottle of STONE’S GINGER WINE.

Obsessed with the idea of the Stone, he picks up isolated snippets of conversation going on around him.

DRINKER
Stone the crows!

DRINKER 2
He was stoned out of his head!

DRINKER 3
Lend us a quid. I’m stoney broke.

DRINKER
So I said "People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones."

DRINKER
I want to lose at least a stone. I’ll start after Christmas.

BARMAN
Yes, Ian? What’ll it be?


INT. A TABLE IN THE BAR - NIGHT
Gavin is sitting with a couple of other students. Ian approaches with two pints of beer. He gives one to Gavin and sits down.

GAVIN
That’s the man!

He swigs thirstily.

GAVIN (CONTD)
That Bill Craig takes some beating! Bawling out like that at the end of the play! No one else could have got away with it. Being President of the Union certainly carries its perks.

STUDENT 1
But don’t you think his comment made the whole play more relevant? I mean, there’s Malcolm off to be ritually crowned King of Scotland seated on the Stone of Destiny at Scone - but then they get there and - whoops! Sorry folks, the coronation’s off! The Stone’s gone missing!

STUDENT 2
It was there then. The English didn’t "borrow" it until two centuries later.

STUDENT 1
Whatever. They’ve still got it out on loan after six centuries. If it was a library book they’d have a hell of a fine to face!


STUDENT 2
It’s our Stone. And now the English kings and queens put their arses on it when they get crowned. Copycats! Haven’t they got any original ideas of their own?

GAVIN
What about sending a band of Blue Bonnets over the Border to get it back again?

STUDENT 1
We’d need a charismatic leader to organize that. Someone with charm, ability, commanding presence, and a wicked sense of humour. And that’s no-one at this table - no offence meant.

He looks across the room to another table and the others follow his gaze.

Bill Craig sits among a group of friends, the center of attention.

They listen attentively to an anecdote he is telling and all burst into uproarious laughter at the conclusion.

GAVIN
You’re quiet tonight, Ian. Have you got a date for the Daft Friday Dance yet?

IAN
I was thinking of asking Kay Mathieson.

GAVIN
You’re leaving it a bit late, aren’t you? Look, there she is. Why don’t you ask her now?

We see Kay at a table across the room talking with a group of other girls.

IAN
She’s with friends. It can wait.

GAVIN
(shouting across the room)
Hey, Kay? Do you fancy going to the Daft Friday Dance with Ian Hamilton?

KAY
(calling back)
Is he asking?

Gavin looks enquiringly at Ian.

IAN
I'm asking.

KAY
I'm accepting.


GAVIN
There you go. Simple as that. Faint heart never won fair lady, Ian.

Ian glares at Gavin and shakes his head.

EXT. IN THE STREET OUTSIDE THE BAR - NIGHT
People are leaving the pub. Groups stand around talking outside, taking their leave of each other. Bill Craig is surrounded by a group of eager listeners.

Ian watches him from the steps as he wraps his scarf around his neck and pulls on his gloves.

A Tory loud-speaker van appears and crawls slowly down the street blaring out its message from the megaphones on the roof.

LOUDSPEAKER
Vote Conservative! For a brighter, happier future! Scotland needs a Conservative Government! You know it makes sense! It was good enough for your grandparents and it’s good enough for you! We’re the Sharing Party! Scottish Ministers in Westminster ruling the country from the heart of the United Kingdom! You can trust the Conservatives! We’re on your side! Relax and rely on the Conservatives! We’re British and we’re proud of it! And so we should be!

As the van crawls slowly past the bar, Bill Craig pulls out a penknife from his coat pocket, opens it with a wink at his friends and walking beside the van, reaches up to the loudspeaker and cuts the wire. The loudspeaker is silenced.

Bill raises his hands like a victorious boxer and the onlookers cheer. Then he turns and walks quickly away with his group of laughing friends.

Ian watches them go.

The van stops and the driver gets out. He checks the loudspeaker and discovers the cut wire. He looks impotently after the disappearing vandals.


EXT. A STREET NEAR GLASGOW UNIVERSITY - DAY
Ian is on his way home from classes. He spots Bill Craig in conversation with a group of friends in the street. He approaches them and stands there until they notice his presence. Bill stops speaking.

IAN
Bill. Could I have a word?

BILL
Why, of course! It’s Ian Hamilton, isn’t it? A future Daniel coming for judgment! The law courts of Scotland depend on the likes of this man!

IAN
Alone?


BILL
Serious?
(to others) Friends, Glaswegians and countrymen - take back your ears! For mine are to be bent on matters of grave import! See you all tonight at the Rectoral Committee. Don’t be late. Till then - farewell! Parting is such sweet sorrow!

The friends laughingly disperse. Bill puts his arm round Ian’s shoulder and they walk along together.

BILL (CONTD)
Ian, we can’t go on meeting like this. People are beginning to talk.

IAN
I want you to come with me down to England and take back the Stone of Destiny. I visited Westminster Abbey in London last year and sized things up. It wouldn’t be such a difficult task.

BILL
(laughıng)
Why, Ian Hamilton! My evil genius! Here am I on the threshold of my political career, and you come along to tempt me away from my path to success! Get thee behind me Satan! You’re a fool! It’s a hare-brained scheme and impossible, to say nothing of being illegal.

IAN
You weren’t worried about the illegality of matters last night when you cut the voicebox of that Conservative Party van. And there are other sweet yon-side-of-the-law activities you’re not exactly innocent of.


BILL
(grinning)
And what are you going to do with it when you get it back to Scotland?

IAN
I haven’t thought that far. That’s for the people of Scotland to decide. But it will at least show whether or not they’re worth fighting for. If they don’t support us, then Scotland’s as dead as Queen Anne!

They’ve walked as far as Sauchiehall Street. Bill stops and thinks for a long time.

BILL
(suddenly)
All right. I’ll come.

Ian is rapturous. He puts his arm around Bill and they continue walking along the street, heads together.

IAN
It’ll shake the world! To raid the heart of London! To bring back the age old symbol of our country! A big stone gone and only an empty chair! Five pounds worth of stone - two thousand years of history! Scotland will wake again!

BILL
You’re a silly Romantic. But I’ll come!

They go into a pub.


INT. IN THE BAR - NIGHT
Ian and Bill sit at a table with pints, discussing plans.

BILL
The police will inevitably catch up with us. They’re bound to. We’re both well-known members of the Covenant movement, and that’s where their first suspicions will lead them.

IAN
I’m not afraid of seeing the inside of an English jail-room. It’ll be worth it if it means getting the chance to show the English Government that there’s a limit to their domination of Scotland. We’re young and we’re bold and we’re going to earn a place in the history books!

BILL
Spoken like a Scot! Now, we’ll need funding. How much have you reckoned on the cost of the enterprise?

IAN
I think fifty quid would be enough. It’s a lot, isn’t it?

BILL
It is a lot. But I know just the man to help us. He’s not over rich, but he has great standing, and he’d beggar himself if it would prosper Scotland. Leave it to me and I’ll arrange a meeting for you. Maybe tomorrow.

IAN
Who...?

BILL
Wait and see.

He winks and raises his glass. They drink.


INT. THE MITCHELL LIBRARY - DAY
Ian sits at a table surrounded by piles of books dealing with Westminster Abbey and the Stone of Destiny. Several are open showing photographs and diagrams.

Ian is laboriously copying a map of the floor plan of the interior of Westminster Abbey from the West door to the Battle of Britain monument.

A fellow student approaches from behind and playfully covers Ian’s eyes, but then drops his hands in horror, astounded at Ian’s choice of reading matter.

STUDENT 1
What the hell is that?

IAN
Oh, er... I’m preparing for a lecture I have to deliver to a church youth club. It’s about Ecclesiastical architecture.

STUDENT 1
Ugh! Poor blighter. Rather you than me.

The student walks away. Ian watches him go and breathes a sigh of relief.


INT. A CORRIDOR IN THE UNIVERSITY - DAY
Ian is walking along with a pile of books from the library. Bill Craig breaks away from some people he is talking to and approaches Ian.

BILL
I’ve arranged the meeting. This is the man you’re to see.

He hands Ian a piece of paper. Ian looks at it.

IAN
(slightly shocked)
But this is...!

BILL
I know. I told you he was important. Don’t worry. He won’t bite. He’s interested. Five o’clock at his office. Good luck.

Bill returns to his friends. Ian looks at the paper again, takes a deep breath and carries on walking.


INT. IN THE WAITING ROOM OUTSIDE AN OFFICE - DAY
Ian sits anxiously looking through some maps and plans he has brought with him. A secretary sits behind a desk typing a letter. The phone on her desk rings and she answers it. She looks at Ian and smiles.

SECRETARY
He’ll see you now.

She gets up and opens the office door. Ian rises and goes in.


INT. JOHN MACCORMICK'S OFFICE - DAY
John MacCormick is sitting at his desk. He nods at Ian as he enters. Ian stands and stares at him.

IAN
Mr. MacCormick. May I just first of all say that I admire your poetry very much, and in fact ‘Edinbane’ is my favourite poem and I know it by heart. We have met before on several occasions, but you wouldn’t remember me. I imagine I’m just another lad to you. All I can say is - I’m in deadly earnest about this project. If you reject me I’ll be hurt, and if you laugh at my idea I’ll be scarred for a lifetime.

JOHN MACKORMICK
You appreciate the dangers and you know that you probably will go to jail?

IAN
I appreciate the dangers.

John rises and offers Ian his hand. They shake. John indicates a seat and Ian sits. They smoke.

JOHN MACKORMICK
You know, I was once in your position back in the Thirties - involved in a plot to recover the Stone. We had it all worked out and then one of our confederates ruined everything by giving details of the scheme to the Press. What an idiot! Secrecy is sacrosanct.

IAN
I couldn’t agree more.
(pause)
Did Bill tell you how much we needed?
(pause)
If you don’t give us the money, I’ll have to go to someone less reliable.

JOHN MACKORMICK
(laughing)
I’ll give you everything within reason! Now, let’s iron out the initial problems. What are they?

IAN
We should find out how much the Stone weighs. I haven’t been able to find that out from any the books I’ve read.

JOHN MACKORMICK
Councillor Gray’s the man to learn that from. He knows more about stone than any man in Scotland.

He picks up the phone and dials.

JOHN MACKORMICK (CONTD)
Bertie? It’s John. I’ve got that lad I mentioned, Ian Hamilton, here. Could you arrange a visit for him at your mason’s yard in Lambhill tomorrow to have a look at - "you know what"? You could? That’s great. He’ll be at your office at 10 tomorrow morning.

He puts down the phone and smiles at Ian.

JOHN MACKORMICK (CONTD)
You’re a lucky man, Ian. You’ve got friends in all the right places.


INT. BERTIE GRAY'S CAR - DAY
COUNCILLOR BERTIE GRAY is behind the wheel of his car and Ian is beside him. They are driving through the streets of Glasgow to the mason’s yard.

BERTIE GRAY
Now remember, Ian, when we get there, you’re a prospective purchaser of the latest in tombstones. And I’m your prospective salesman.

IAN
But you ken what my real game is, don’t you, Councillor Gray? I don’t know how much John Mackormick has told you. Och, I can hardly believe I’m sitting next to a member of Glasgow Town Council!

BERTIE GRAY
Call me Bertie. We’re fellow-Covenanters, Ian. John’s given me an inkling of your plan, and I can’t tell you how much it’s stirred my blood! If I were only thirty years younger, I’d be volunteering the strength of my body rather than my intellect.

IAN
I’m overwhelmed by the support. But I’m still a bit puzzled about what we’re going to see...

BERTIE GRAY
Hush now. We’ve arrived.

The car pulls into the entranceway of GRAY’S MASON’S YARD in Lambhill.


EXT. THE MASON'S YARD - DAY
Ian and Bertie are walking around the grassy courtyard pretending to inspect and admire tombstones. A foreman watches them solicitously from a distance, then turns and walks into the gatehouse.

Seeing the foreman gone, Bertie jerks his head in the direction of a distant corner of the garden and Ian heads that way, followed by Bertie.


EXT. A CORNER OF THE MASON'S YARD - DAY
BERTIE GRAY
There you have it. The Stone of Destiny!

He points with his walking stick, while watching out for onlookers. Ian looks down at the place indicated, and sees a large shaped stone lying in the long grass.

IAN
(amazed)
The Stone?! But it’s in London!

BERTIE GRAY
This is an exact replica of the one in Westminster Abbey. It was fashioned back in the Twenties. The plan was to take the original and replace it with this one, but the plot never came off.

IAN
It looks heavy.

BERTIE GRAY
It weighs four hundredweight.

IAN
It’s going to take some lifting.

BERTIE GRAY
And over here we have some of our more up-to-date tombstones. If you’d care to take a look?

Ian looks up and sees an apprentice bearing a hammer approaching, and realizes that Bertie wishes to avert suspicion.

IAN
Aye. Well, you’ve certainly opened my eyes today, Mr. Gray. I realize now that my burden cannot be borne alone. It needs to be shared by others.

BERTIE GRAY
I’m sure we can come to an arrangement.


INT. BILL CRAIG'S FLAT - NIGHT
Ian, Bill, John and Bertie are in the middle of a meeting, planning the capture of the Stone. Glasses of drink are in evidence, and ashtrays full of cigarette butts. The air is blue with smoke.

BERTIE GRAY
Okay. So my idea of the Stone in the bath-chair is out. I didn’t think it was that bad.

BILL
It wasn’t bad, Bertie. It would have been fine coming in and out of the Abbey itself. But it would have been no good when it came to the wooden steps up to the Confessor’s Chapel. Too narrow, up and down.

JOHN MACKORMICK
And there would have been witnesses galore. No - Ian’s right. It can’t be a daylight raid. It’s got to be at night. That’s essential. And by the smallest team possible. Are we agreed?

All the others make noises of agreement and assent.

JOHN MACKORMICK (CONTD)
(laughıng)
Well that’s a relief! We’ll raise a glass to that!

They laugh and toast.

IAN
So, let’s go through it again and make sure we’re all of the same mind.

BILL
Right you are. Towards closing time, one of us will conceal himself in the Abbey...

IAN
That’s me.

BILL
Agreed, evil genius! And when the watchman has finished his rounds, about 2 am, you’ll screw off the lock to the door leading from Margaret Chapel to the Abbey grounds, where the others will be waiting.

IAN
Or if that doesn’t work, force the padlock from the door in Poet’s Corner.

JOHN MACKORMICK
That’s right. Then you remove the Stone from the Chair, lash it to an iron bar, and carry it outside to the inconspicuous waiting car.

BERTIE GRAY
You drive to a quiet side street and transfer the Stone to a larger, faster car which will carry it off to Dartmoor and hide it somewhere there.


JOHN MACKORMICK
Meanwhile the little car races towards Wales.

BILL
Why? What was the reason for that again?

BERTIE GRAY
Because if it was seen outside the Abbey it’d be recognized and stopped by the police, and the driver will say that the Stone has been handed over to Welsh Nationalists. That’ll put them on a false scent and make it easier when we return to fetch it later from Dartmoor.

JOHN MACKORMICK
It’s a good plan. There are bound to be hitches, but it’s a solid blueprint to work from.

IAN
It is. Now, let’s fix the date for the enterprise. I think Christmas is the only possible time.

BILL
Don’t you think that’s rushing things a bit?

IAN
Christmas or New Year’s Day.

BILL
Impossible. I’m President of the Union, and I’ve got a diary full of engagements to fulfill over the Christmas and New Year period. Also, the student body is preparing to celebrate the fifth centenary of the founding of the University on the seventh of January. The plan will keep. We can do it any time.


JOHN MACKORMICK
Aye. We can bide for a while.

IAN
No! We want to strike now while we’re hot with the idea! Forget your engagements! What could be more important than this? We’ll be giving Scotland the most fantastic Christmas present - or a Hogmannay to hoot over!

BILL
Sorry, Ian. There’s no way I can get out of my commitments. Wait a few weeks.

IAN
I’m not hearing this!

He glares at Bill, then turns to support from John and Bertie. They shrug and avoid his eyes.

IAN (CONTD)
(bıtterly)
I’ll go by myself!

He storms out and slams the door.

INT. THE UNIVERSITY BAR - NIGHT
It’s December 15th, the night of the University’s Daft Friday Dance, celebrating the end of Martinmas Term.

Students in fancy dress are in jovial mood, drinking and talking in groups or couples. We hear music from the dancing that is going on in the main hall.

Ian and Kay sit together at a table. Ian is moody and unsociable. He hasn’t spoken for ten minutes. Kay is looking around at the costumes of the students. Suddenly Ian looks at Kay out of the corner of his eye. He has an idea.

IAN
What’ll you do for Christmas, Kay?

KAY
I’m going home.

IAN
I’m going to London to bring back the Stone of Destiny.

KAY
(laughing)
I thought you had a hard head. You’ve only had one drink.

IAN
I mean it.

He looks at Kay. Her smile fades.

KAY
So did Wendy Wood, and Compton MacKenzie and John MacCormick and Bertie Gray! Every Nationalist worth his salt has planned to get the Stone. Why do you think it’s never been done before?

IAN
I don’t know. I can’t understand why it’s never been done, but I’ve been to London and I’m certain that we can do it. Would you like to come?

KAY
What can I do?

IAN
You can drive.

KAY
If we fail, we’ll get shot out of the movement.

IAN
That would be the least of our worries.

Kay stands and holds out her hand. Ian takes it.

KAY
Let’s dance on it.

They go to join the dancing.

INT. A TELEPHONE KIOSK - DAY
Ian is making a call. He puts coins into the slot.

IAN
Hello, John? I’m just phoning to tell you that I’ve found a new friend to take on holiday with me. I’m taking HER for coffee. That’s right - HER. Could you meet us? Four o’clock at Miss Rombach’s restaurant in Waterloo Street.

He puts down the phone.

EXT. WATERLOO STREET - DAY
Ian is hurrying. He looks at a clock and sees that he is ten minutes late for the appointment. He arrives at Miss Rombach’s restaurant and goes in.


INT. MISS ROMBACH'S RESTAURANT - DAY
John and Kay are sitting at a table together talking. Ian approaches.

IAN
Sorry I’m late. I see you found each other. I know you’re no strangers.

He sits down.

JOHN MACKORMICK
Kay has been telling me that she wants to go for the Stone with you, Ian.

IAN
I know. I think it’s a very good idea.

JOHN MACKORMICK
(looking at Kay)
It could have its advantages.

KAY
What do you think?

JOHN MACKORMICK
Well, you know, Kay, you’ll lose your job as a teacher if you're caught.

KAY
I know.

JOHN MACKORMICK
And it’s scarcely a task for a girl. Even the minor hardships of a trip to London by road at this time of year are something you should consider.

KAY
I would be going home anyway. And there are no trains to Inverasdale.

The waitress arrives with coffee and serves them. She leaves.

KAY (CONTD)
Will I get expelled from the Covenant movement if I go?

JOHN MACKORMICK
(laughing)
Whatever happens, they will not do that!

KAY
I’ll go.


EXT. THE STREET OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT - DAY
Ian, Kay and John are standing on the pavement saying goodbye.

JOHN MACKORMICK
For twenty years in the Scottish movement I’ve made it a rule never to ask anyone to do anything I wouldn’t do myself. I can’t help you any more with this, but if between now and Christmas you want to back out, don’t be frightened to come and tell me.

They laugh and part.


INT. A CORRIDOR OF GLASGOW UNIVERSITY - DAY
Ian is standing outside a lecture hall.

The lecture over, the class of engineering students come out. Gavin Vernon is one of them.

Ian approaches him.

IAN
Hello, Gavin. What are you doing for Christmas?

They walk along together talking. Before they’ve got very far Gavin stops and turns to Ian.

GAVIN
(shouting)
WHAT?!!

Students turn their heads at the shout as they come and go to classes.

Ian puts his arm round Gavin’s shoulder and they continue walking, Ian still talking.

Gavin stops again and jumps up and down, laughing. He shakes Ian’s hand vigorously and dances off, punching the air.

Ian retraces his steps, smiling broadly. They have a third confederate.


INT. IAN'S LODGINGS - NIGHT
Ian is standing in front of the mirror stowing his ‘burglar tool kit’ about his person.

Into various pockets of his jacket he puts a file, some wire, a hacksaw and a wrench. Then he hangs a sling containing a 24 inch long jemmy over his shoulder, placing the end in his trouser pocket.

He puts on an overcoat and buttons it up.

He turns and examines his appearance in the mirror. He walks around.

IAN
(to his reflection)
Suspicious, officer? Who, me?

He smiles and bends forward. The jemmy slips from the sling and falls with a clatter to the floor. Ian looks at it.

IAN
Now where on earth did that come from?




INT. BERTIE GRAY'S OFFICE - DAY
Bertie is at his desk. His secretary opens the door and shows Ian in.

BERTIE GRAY
I’m glad you’ve come to see me, Ian. I was going to send for you myself. I’m greatly disturbed by the news I hear from John MacCormick that you’ve enlisted the help of a lassie in the venture - Kay Mathieson.

IAN
Och, she wasn’t press-ganged, Bertie! And you know Kay. She’s a stalwart member of the self-government movement. And she’s a cool head on her.

BERTIE GRAY
Aye, Kaye’s one in a million, I admit. And she’d be a canny foil to the other member I hear you’ve recruited, Gavin Vernon. Are you sure he’s quite reliable?

IAN
Gavin is strong. He can drive. And he’s a hundred percent committed. But I won’t beat about the bush, Bertie. Gavin has hired a car to take us to London and I’ve arranged to hire a bigger one to take the Stone from there to Dartmoor. And then there was the tool kit I had to assemble. The money that John gave us is almost gone, and I’m embarrassed to approach him again.

BERTIE GRAY
Say no more, Ian.

He opens a drawer in his desk and takes some money from a metal box.

BERTIE GRAY (CONTD)
Here’s thirty pounds. Will that do?

IAN
That’s a lot. We could manage on less.

BERTIE GRAY
Take it. And why not take me too? I know I’m no spring chicken, but I’ve still got a lot of strength in me. Particularly for a venture like this.

IAN
I would, Bertie. And I bet you’d perform admirably. But as Vice-Chairman of the Covenant you should never be connected to an illegal act. The reputation of the movement must remain untarnished.

BERTIE GRAY
You’ve a wise head on your young shoulders.

The door opens and Bill Craig comes in.

BILL
Ian. Congratulations! I hear things are shaping up nicely. When are you setting off?

IAN
On the twenty second.

BILL
Ian, are we still friends? I hope you understand that it was impossible for me to come with you at this time, and that I’m with you all the way. If you’d only been prepared to wait a month...

IAN
(taking his hand)
Of course we’re friends, Bill, and I understand about your commitments. I’m sorry I was so rude that night. But I’m being guided by a sort of Muse. And she says Christmas is the time.

BILL
If there’s anything I can still do?

IAN
There is. I can use you to report our progress. Don’t be surprised if you get a phone call from an author friend called Ian Johnstone, down in London for the launching of his latest novel. He’ll be phoning to tell you whether the book is a success or a failure.

BILL
Let’s hope it’s a bestseller, Mr. Johnstone!

BERTIE GRAY
Amen!

They shake hands warmly.


INT. IAN'S LODGINGS - NIGHT
Kay, Gavin and Ian are having their final council meeting at Ian’s place.

It’s a small room with a bed, an armchair, a table and chair. Maps and diagrams are open on the available space.

Ian is giving the others a test.

IAN
Kay - which is the only door in the Abbey not made of oak?

KAY
The Poet’s Corner door. It’s made of pine.

IAN
Correct! Gavin - how many steps are there from the Confessor’s Chapel to the nave?

GAVIN
Six.

IAN
That’s right! Kay - how many doors from the Abbey open towards the Houses of Parliament?

KAY
Two.

IAN
Bravo! You both pass with flying colours! Award yourselves a night of uninterrupted sleep in a good warm bed. You’ll not see the like for some time from tomorrow.

Kay and Gavin go to the door.

GAVIN
Ian, do you not think we could do with the help of at least one more?

IAN
I did at first. But I think we’ll manage all right. The Three Musketeers did okay, didn’t they?

KAY
Actually, there were four of them.

GAVIN
Maybe you’re thinking of the Three Stooges.

IAN
Goodnight.

Kay and Gavin leave. Ian closes the door and looks a little worried.

INT. A CORRIDOR IN GAVIN'S LODGINGS - DAY
Ian is banging on the door to Gavin’s room. Eventually the door is opened by a tousle-haired Gavin in pajamas.

IAN
(angry)
What are you doing? We were supposed to meet for breakfast at eight! It’s ten past nine already!

INT. GAVIN'S FLAT - DAY
Ian follows Gavin into the room and closes the door.

Gavin heads into the bathroom from where he conducts the conversation with Ian as he washes and brushes his teeth.

GAVIN
I’m sorry. I didn’t put the alarm on. Maybe I was making up for the sleep I’ll be missing.

IAN
I’m amazed that you could sleep at all. I hardly slept a wink.

GAVIN
Och, there’s no rush. We’re picking up the car at midday, and we’re not setting off till tonight.

IAN
I guess you’re right. I’m just wound up with excitement.

GAVIN
Can we still have breakfast? I’m starving!


EXT. A GARAGE IN PITT STREET - DAY
Ian and Gavin, accompanied by the salesman, are standing staring at the car they have come to collect - an 8 horse-power Ford, at least 12 years old.

SALESMAN
Don’t be misled by appearances, gents. This little baby delivers the goods. She’s been with us for several years, and we’ve never had an unsatisfied customer to date.

IAN
It’s all we could afford... Gavin, you’re to be driver-in-chief. Take it for a spin and get used to it. I’ll go home and get my tool kit and meet you at three outside your place.

Gavin gets into the car and after a little trouble starting, drives away jerkily. Ian turns to the salesman, who smiles and nods encouragingly.

A bang from the exhaust brings Ian’s worried gaze back to the departing Ford.


EXT. THE STREET OUTSIDE GAVIN'S LODGINGS - DAY
As Ian walks up the street he sees Gavin is standing next to the car with a tall blond young man - ALAN STUART.

Ian raises his eyebrows. He is angry that Gavin has brought a friend to see him off.

GAVIN
Ian, this is Alan. Alan Stuart. Ian Hamilton.

ALAN
Pleased to meet you.

Ian scowls. Alan blushes. Gavin nudges him.

ALAN (CONTD)
(pleading)
I want to come with you.

IAN
I’m sorry.

ALAN
(hurt)
It’s all right. And the best of luck anyway.

GAVIN
(whispering to Ian)
He could bring a car.

ALAN
(eagerly)
I could indeed.

IAN
All right. You’re on.

ALAN
Oh, thanks very much, Ian! You won’t regret it! I’ll just be a while to arrange my things and see about the car.

He rushes off, but after about twenty yards he dashes back.

ALAN (CONTD)
Do you want an Armstrong or a Ford Anglia?

IAN
Would an Anglia carry four hundred weight?

ALAN
Och yes. It would carry Nelson’s Column - pigeons and all!


EXT. THROUGH GLASGOW CROSSING LONDON ROAD - NIGHT
Ian is driving the Anglia. Alan is seated by his side.

They are following the Ford, which Gavin is driving, partnered by Kay.


INT. IN THE ANGLIA - NIGHT
IAN
The planning part is over. All that remains now is to put it into action. And make no doubt about it, Alan, we intend to match intention with success.


ALAN
I can’t believe how lucky I am to be part of this!


INT. IN THE FORD - NIGHT
Gavin and Kay are both bundled up in heavy coats. Gavin is driving.

Kay wipes the inside of the windscreen.

KAY
It’s that cold, our breath’s freezing on the glass.

GAVIN
The roads will be iced on the higher stretches.


EXT. OUTSIDE A CAFE AT GRETNA GREEN - NIGHT
The friends come out of a café and stop for a minute.

IAN
Right. That’s our last meal in Scotland. Our next will be breakfast, probably somewhere in Nottinghamshire.

GAVIN
Exotic English food!

IAN
Keep strictly to the half hour shifts on the driving. Don’t go feeling sorry for your partner and letting them sleep on, or you may regret it by nodding off at the wheel. See you in England!

They get back into the cars.


EXT. SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE PENRITH - NIGHT
Snow is falling. The cars slip and slide on the wet ice.

The Ford stops and Kay gets out. Alan stops the Anglia and joins her.

Kay scrapes ice from the windshield with her fingernails.

KAY
This the third time we’ve had to stop and scrape this ice away. The wipers can’t cope with it.

Ian gets out with a bottle.

IAN
Remember that gill of rum we bought in Glasgow? Let’s rub it on the glass, and the spirit will stop it from freezing up.

They rub the rum on the windscreens.


INT. IN BOTH CARS - NIGHT
We flash from car to car showing each of the team at the wheel at different times.

Sometimes they are sleeping in the back.

Sometimes they talk while the other drives.

Sometimes they light a cigarette and pass it to the driver.


EXT. BEYOND THE PENNINES - NIGHT
They come across a car which has slid off the road into a ditch.

They stop and help the driver to push the car back onto the road.


EXT. FURTHER ALONG THE ROAD - NIGHT
The Ford has come off the road.

The driver who they helped earlier stops and gets out to help them.


INT. THE GENT'S TOILET OF A ROADSIDE CAFE IN NOTTINGHAMSHIRE - DAY
Gavin is splashing his face with cold water. Ian is cleaning his teeth. Alan is combing his hair. All look very tired.

ALAN
Ten and six for egg and sausage! It’s highway robbery!

IAN
It was all right, though. We needed it.


EXT. OUTSIDE THE ROADSIDE CAFE - DAY
The sun is just coming up.

The boys slap their legs and stamp their feet while they wait for Kay.

She comes out of the ladies.

IAN
Who are the four finest people in all this shining dawn?

ALL
We are.

IAN
That’s right!

They get back into the cars.


EXT. THE SUBURBS OF LONDON - DAY
It’s afternoon and the cars are driving through the suburbs, heading for the centre of London.




INT. THE FORD - DAY
ALAN
So this is London.

KAY
(driving)
I notice the streets aren’t paved with gold.

INT. A STREET NEAR WHITEHALL - DAY
Kay and Gavin park the Ford, get out, and open the doors of the Anglia to join Ian and Alan inside.

IAN
What do you think of London, Kay?

KAY
If it were mine I’d swap it all for five acres in Inverasdale.

The others laugh.


INT. IN THE ANGLIA - DAY
They are driving along Whitehall headed for the Abbey.

IAN
(pointing)
There’s Scotland Yard.

ALAN
It’s called that because that’s where William Wallace was tortured to death.

GAVIN
Let’s hope we don’t meet the same fate there tonight.

They look grimly out of the window as they pass.

EXT. OUTSIDE WESTMINSTER ABBEY - DAY
Our friends look up at the towering Abbey.

Tourists and worshippers are going in and coming out.

IAN
We’ll split into two groups and meet later at Lyon’s Corner House in Trafalgar Square. Kay, you’re with Alan. Gavin with me. We can’t afford to arouse suspicion. Alan, do you not think your duffle coat will look out of place in a church?

ALAN
Och no. Many well-dressed men wear them in England.

GAVIN
What about me? Will I pass muster?

IAN
Gavin, don’t ask. You’re the sort of person who makes nuns cross themselves when they pass you in the street!

They laugh and head into the Abbey.


INT. INSIDE WESTMINSTER ABBEY - DAY
A general view of the interior. We watch Gavin and Ian, and Kay and Alan in their separate pairs looking around the Abbey.

Gavin and Ian pay admission to the Confessor’s Chapel and walk up the six wooden stairs.

They stare at the Coronation Chair and the Stone of Destiny in the special aperture under it.

GAVIN
(whispering)
It looks massive.

IAN
Thank God we brought Alan along.

As they are leaving the Abbey, Ian and Gavin pass the tomb of Edward 1.

IAN
That’s Edward the First’s tomb. He’s the one who stole the Stone from the Abbey of Scone.

GAVIN
Hey Mister! Can we have our Stone back?

It is getting dark as they leave.


INT. LYON'S CORNER HOUSE IN THE STRAND - DAY
Ian, Kay, Alan and Gavin sit around a table in the café.

They have finished a meal and are drinking coffee.

A war-council is in progress.

IAN
So the burning question is - should we act tonight or wait until tomorrow?

GAVIN
There are pros and cons for both. Let’s look at the cons against tonight first.

ALAN
We’re tired. We haven’t had a full night’s sleep. And if things go to plan, there’ll be at least two more sleepless nights after the operation.

KAY
I’m not keen on staying overlong in London. And it’s way expensive! The money’s going fast.

IAN
Tomorrow has two advantages. It’s both Sunday and Christmas Eve. The pubs will be open later and the police will be more occupied with drunks.

GAVIN
Well, today’s Saturday, and I’ve seen plenty of drunks already. I don’t see any harm in having a bash tonight.

ALAN
I’m keen.

KAY
Why not?

IAN
All right. Tonight it is.

They join hands across the table, conspiratorially.

IAN (CONTD)
Alan - you and Kay take the Anglia and find the route west from London to Dartmoor - that’s where you’ll be headed early tomorrow morning. Meet Gavin tonight at Trafalgar Square tube station at seven and be outside the Abbey at two o’clock tomorrow morning. Boot open and waiting!

KAY
Au revoir.

ALAN
A bientot.

Alan and Kay get up and leave casually. Ian and Gavin finish their coffee.


INT. THE PARKED FORD - DAY
Gavin sits at the wheel.

Ian is stowing his tool kit about his body in the car - the file, the saw, the screwdriver, the wrench, the hooded torch, the length of wire and a tin of Vaseline (for the saw).

He is embarrassed, feeling passers by are watching him.

He has to step outside to put the jemmy in the sling.

He puts on the coat to cover it all and gets back into the car.

GAVIN
When’s the baby due? Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?

Ian laughs too much (from nerves and excitement) as they drive away.


INT. THE WEST DOOR OF WESTMINSTER ABBEY - DAY
The sound of BIG BEN STRIKING 5.15.

Ian and Gavin are about to enter the Abbey.

IAN
Cheerio.

GAVIN
Good luck.

They go in.


INT. THE ABBEY - DAY
Ian walks slowly up the north transept, pausing to read inscriptions, followed at a distance by Gavin.

A guide is in conversation with a woman. They ignore Ian.

At the top of the north transept there is a low rail which separates the extreme end of the transept where we can see a cleaner’s trolley.

Gavin walks slowly past and checks that there is no one in sight. He turns and nods to Ian.

Ian steps over the rail and walks quickly to the trolley. He crawls under it, covers his face with his coat, and lies perfectly still.


INT. THE ABBEY - NIGHT
We hear BIG BEN STRIKING 6.15.

Ian uncovers his face and looks out.

The Abbey is empty and the lights are out.

He creeps out from his hiding place.

Ian takes off his shoes and begins to creep towards St Paul’s Chapel, but stops suddenly.

We hear THE JANGLING OF KEYS and see the sweep of light from a torch approaching. Someone is coming!

Ian hides behind a statue.

THE JANGLING OF KEYS STOPS. The light of the torch shines in Ian’s face.

WATCHMAN
What the devil are you doing here?

IAN
(pathetically)
I’ve been shut in.

WATCHMAN
Why didn’t you shout then?

IAN
( on the edge of tears )
I thought I’d get a row.

WATCHMAN
This will never do.
He shines the torch on the shoes in Ian’s hand.

IAN
I was frightened someone would hear me. And come and catch me.

WATCHMAN
Well, put them on. You’re lucky I didn’t hit you over the head. I’m patrolling about here all night, you know.

As he stoops to put on his shoes the jemmy slips from its sling. Ian just manages to stop it from clanging on the floor by pressing his arm against it.

He puts on his shoes.

The watchman escorts Ian to the door, where they stop.

WATCHMAN (CONTD)
What’s your name?

IAN
John Alison.

WATCHMAN
Your address?

IAN
Care of Fee, 49 Arlington Street, N14.

The watchman writes down the details.

WATCHMAN
Have you any money?

IAN
A pound.

WATCHMAN
You’re sure you weren’t sheltering in the Abbey because you had nowhere else to go?

IAN
No.

The watchman opens the door.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE ABBEY - NIGHT
The watchman leads Ian down the steps.

WATCHMAN
Merry Christmas.

Ian walks quickly away.

On the other side of Parliament Square he turns and looks back. The watchman is still watching.

Ian waves and continues on his way. The watchman goes back inside and closes the door.


EXT. THE ENBANKMENT - NIGHT
Walking along the Embankment, Ian comes across the parked Ford. He looks around for Gavin, but doesn’t see him.

He lights a cigarette, leans against the car and waits.

Gavin comes strolling along, hands in sheepskin gloves, cigarette in mouth.

He stops dead when he sees Ian and the cigarette drops from his mouth.

GAVIN
(picking up cigarette)
How did you get here?

IAN
(sourly)
I walked.

Gavin opens the car and gets in. He opens the door for Ian.

IAN
(getting in)
I got caught.


INT. THE FORD - NIGHT
They are driving past Scotland Yard. Gavin jerks his thumb at it as they pass.

GAVIN
You can thank your lucky stars you’re not in Scotland... Yard!


EXT. OUTSIDE TRAFALGAR SQUARE TUBE STATION - NIGHT
Gavin is waiting for the others at the entrance to the tube station.

Ian is standing at a distance, moodily watching the crowd around the Christmas tree.

Alan and Kay arrive. We see Gavin talking to them and pointing at Ian.

Ian goes over and joins them.

IAN
Let’s go and eat our Christmas dinners. And then I’m calling a war council in the Anglia.

They head across the road towards Lyon’s Corner House Café.

INT. IN THE ANGLIA - NIGHT
Kay and Gavin are in the back of the car, Ian and Alan in the front.

ALAN
But if there are watchmen prowling about all night...

IAN
I didn’t see any others, and I doubt if the man does his rounds more than once every two hours. I was just unlucky to have come out of hiding at the wrong time. But if there is a whole pack of them we might just as well forget it and set off home now.

GAVIN
Shall we try the same plan tomorrow night?

IAN
It’s too dangerous. We can’t go home without another try. But not a coarse, blundering one like tonight. Apart from the shame another failure would bring upon us and our country, we’re wasting money, and the man who gave it can ill afford it.

KAY
There are still more nights and more chances.

ALAN
We might break in from the outside.

IAN
Or we might try a cheeky attempt in the daylight.

ALAN
Bruce watched his spider seven times. Let’s go along to the Abbey and look for spiders!

They all laugh.

Gavin starts the engine and they head back to the Abbey.


EXT. A STREET NEAR THE ALBERT HALL - DAY
It is very cold.

Looking through the frosted windows of the cars, we see Kay and Alan in the Anglia snuggled under a traveling rug.

Gavin and Ian in the Ford are sharing an old coat. Gavin tugs it away from Ian. Ian tugs it back and wakes up blearily.

He looks at his watch. It shows six o’clock.

IAN
(nudging Gavin)
Wake up Gavin. It’s time for breakfast.

Gavin stirs.

Ian gets out and walks to the other car. He bangs on the window.

The others slowly waken.

Ian mimes eating. They nod, yawn and stretch.


INT. AN EARLY MORNING CAFE - DAY
Gavin and Ian are in heavy overcoats, stubble on their faces. Alan is in his duffle coat. Kay is in a scarf and polo-neck, slacks and gloves. They are all cold, stiff and twisted from the ordeal of sleeping overnight in the cars. They are drinking tea and eating greasy sausages.

IAN
So what did we learn from last night?



GAVIN
That it’s not an easy matter to sleep overnight in a car with the temperature at ten degrees below zero?

KAY
We saved at least three pounds by not staying in a hotel.

ALAN
That a lot of English drunks are out celebrating the birth of Christ. Trying to throw themselves under our wheels!

IAN
But wasn’t our main lesson about solidarity? No matter how cold and uncomfortable we are - we represent the Scottish people - and our aim is just!

KAY
Aye, Ian, you’re right. Just keep reminding us now and again.

IAN
In compensation for your missed beds - after breakfast, there’s a reward!

They bite into their sausage sandwiches and look glumly at Ian.


INT. THE CORRIDOR OF A PUBLIC BATH HOUSE IN WATERLOO - DAY
Ian, Gavin, Alan and Kay are wallowing in hot bathtubs in separate cubicles.

The air is filled with steam. Gavin is singing a ballad.

ALAN
(calling out )
Ian, you’re a genius! After this we’ll feel reborn!

KAY
Aye! This is smashing!

AN ATTENDANT appears and bangs on the doors of their cubicles.

ATTENDANT
I’ll ‘ave you know this is not an ‘otel! Nearly a bloomin’ hour you’ve been in there now!

GAVIN
(calling out)
Och, the insolence of office! You canna get away from it!


INT. IN THE ANGLIA IN A STREET OFF KNIGHTSBRIDGE - DAY
Our friends are having another war council.

ALAN
A night time attempt is the best bet. We’ll force our way in from the outside.

GAVIN
I’m with you there old chap.

IAN
But we should at least consider a day time raid. That was the plan they had twenty years ago.

KAY
Aye. Dreamed up by Compton MacKenzie and Councillor Grey in the days of their youth.

IAN
The idea was to create a diversion in the nave while a party of men attacked the Stone and carried it out the back door of the Margaret Chapel.

GAVIN
A party of men we’re not!

IAN
It still won’t do any harm to investigate the possibility. Kay, you stay in the Anglia. If there’s a chance to seize the Stone, we’ll dump it in the Ford and transfer it to you as quick as we can.

KAY
All right.

IAN
Are you okay?

KAY
I’m fine. Good luck to you all.

Gavin, Alan and Ian get out of the car and leave Kay.


INT. WESTMINSTER ABBEY - DAY
The Abbey is full of Christmas worshippers.

Ian, Gavin and Alan wander around hopelessly.

A choir sings Christmas Carols.


INT. THE ANGLIA - DAY
Kay is sitting in the car. The others arrive and get in.

GAVIN
There’s absolutely no chance of a daytime raid.

ALAN
I didn’t think there was.

IAN
So it’s to be tonight. We’ve just got to work out the loophole of the Abbey guard.

KAY
You’ve been three hours.

IAN
Sorry, Kay. You must be perishing sitting here. Let’s go and get some fuel into us.

Ian starts the car and they drive away.


INT. A RESTAURANT - NIGHT
As they enter the restaurant Kay takes Ian’s arm and draws him aside.

Gavin and Alan go ahead and sit down at a table.

Kay is white-faced and shivering.

IAN
What’s the trouble, Kay?

KAY
Of all the things, I’ve got the flu. I’ve been feeling ill all day, and I’m running a temperature now.

IAN
Oh no!

KAY
Do you think that if we don’t decide to do anything tonight, I could sleep in a hotel?

IAN
It might be better to get you home.

KAY
No, I won’t hear of it.

They walk to the table.

KAY (CONTD)
Don’t tell Gavin and Alan. There’s no use upsetting them.

They sit down.

INT. LATER IN THE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
They have finished their meal, and are drinking coffee.

IAN
I don’t know about you two, but I’m determined that Kay should have at least a few hours in a hotel bed. She’s exhausted, poor soul!

GAVIN
Aye, so she should. Women need their beauty sleep.

ALAN
She deserves a good rest.

IAN
I’ll find her a place and see you later in that pub over the road.

GAVIN
A jolly good place to meet!


EXT. A STREET IN ST. PANCRAS - NIGHT
The car is crawling slowly through the seedy street.

There are several dingy hotels with vacancy signs in their windows.


INT. IN THE ANGLIA - NIGHT
KAY
There. That one will do.

She points to one of the hotels.

IAN
Ah, no, Kay! It’s a miserable little doss-house!

KAY
It’ll be cheap. And I’m not looking for luxury.

INT. IN THE HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT
Ian and Kay are at the reception desk in the grubby vestibule of the hotel.

Kay finishes writing her name in the hotel register.

THE RECEPTIONIST checks it, then hands her a room key.

RECEPTIONIST
‘Ere you are, Miss Warren. Room number twelve. Just up the stairs.

IAN
Goodnight then, Victoria. Sleep well.

He starts to go. Kay stops him.

KAY
Wait, Robert!
(to the receptionist)
Do you have a card?

The receptionist hands Kay a card and she gives it to Ian.

KAY (CONTD)
If there’s to be any excitement whatever tonight, I want to be in on it. Promise you’ll phone me?

IAN
(looking at number on card)
I promise.

KAY
Swear.

IAN
(smiling)
I swear. Goodnight sister!

He kisses her on the cheek and leaves.


INT. A PUB NEAR TRAFALGAR SQUARE - NIGHT
The pub is noisy and crowded with revellers.

Ian, Gavin and Alan sit at a table making plans. They speak closely, but are confident that they are not being overheard.

IAN
So we’re definitely going to break in from the outside. Now let’s go over all the facts again that we’re sure of.

ALAN
The Poet’s Corner door is the one to go for. It’s the most secluded one and made of pine.

GAVIN
There’s at least one night watchman inside, and according to what he told you, he keeps up a patrol all night, so he’d be bound to come across us, even if he didn’t hear us forcing the door.

IAN
But can you really believe that an unsupervised watchman pads continuously around in there? He’d have to be a religious maniac, and he seemed a nice human sort of person to me.

ALAN
He probably just does a patrol at regular intervals.

IAN
Maybe about once every two hours.

GAVIN
Maybe is a risky word.

IAN
Exactly. What we need is more definite information. Drink up, and let’s go and get it.

They drain their pints.




EXT. OUTSIDE THE DEAN'S YARD OF WESTMINSTER ABBEY - NIGHT
Big Ben is striking ten as the car pulls up near the Dean’s Yard and Alan and Gavin get out, leaving Ian in the car.

They walk into the yard, looking and talking like tourists.

They turn into the Cloisters.


EXT. THE CLOISTERS OF WESTMINSTER ABBEY - NIGHT
An elderly divine, ARCHDEACON MARRIOT appears from a doorway and approaches Gavin and Alan.

ARCHDEACON MARRIOT
Rather late to be in here.

ALAN
It is indeed. But we are very interested in the building. We’re wondering if it’s dry rot that makes the surface of the stone peel like that.

ARCHDEACON MARRIOT
Yes. It’s age.

He seizes Alan’s arm and takes him aside.

ARCHDEACON MARRIOT (CONTD)
But there can be a charm in decrepitude that I’m sure you’re aware of.

The bearded NIGHT WATCHMAN suddenly appears in the northwest corner of the Cloisters.

ARCHDEACON MARRIOT (CONTD)
I thought you went off at ten o’clock?

WATCHMAN
(respectfully)
Eleven o’clock, sir.

ARCHDEACON MARRIOT
Oh yes. Then Dandy or Hyslop comes on...
(to Alan)
But tell me - how much do you know about buttresses? Or the perpendicular style?...

Gripping Alan’s arm tighter in his grasp, he maneuvers him away until they are alone together.

ARCHDEACON MARRIOT (CONTD)
And what part of Scotland are you from?

ALAN
Er! Eh! Forgandenny...

ARCHDEACON MARRIOT
Forgandenny! I know it very well! I once had a living near there. Do you know Eammond McTavish and James Stewart?

ALAN
Ah! It’s such a long time since I’ve been home! I left when I was only a wee bairn! Thank you so much Reverend for your hospitality, and goodnight!

He shakes the old man’s hand and goes to join Gavin, who is waiting for him.

They walk away together.


INT. IN THE ANGLIA - NIGHT
ALAN
That’s right. There’s only one watchman.

GAVIN
And he gets relieved at eleven.

IAN
So let’s say he doesn’t patrol more that once every two hours. He’ll likely talk for a while with the retiring one, so his first round will probably be about quarter past eleven. Then quarter past one and quarter past three.


GAVIN
There’s the chance that the new one will have had a few in the pub.

ALAN
But anyway, the watchman’s office is in the Cloisters, and that’s too far away for him to hear us at the Poet’s Corner door, or even near the Stone.

IAN
Bravo, lads! You’ve done well. Let’s recase the joint.

They get out of the car.

EXT. A STREET OUTSIDE OLD PALACE YARD - NIGHT
Revelers and merrymakers are abroad, singing and talking loudly.

Gavin, Ian and Alan respond to Christmas greetings, but they are checking out their potential assault on the Abbey.

They are looking at a couple of gates.

One is open and leads directly into Old Palace Yard.

The other, ten yards from the Abbey, is locked and bolted. Gas lamps throw light onto the gate, and it’s in full view of the road.

They look at each other, shake their heads and walk on.


EXT. A LITTLE FURTHER AWAY - NIGHT
A wooden hoarding with a padlocked door further up the lane, fences off a little space used by masons as a yard for repairs next to the Abbey wall and Margaret Chapel.

Pubs are closing. There is much insobriety in the streets.

Our friends look at each other, nod and walk on.


EXT. AT THE WOODEN HOARDING - NIGHT
BIG BEN STRIKES TWO.

A few people are still singing in the streets, but not as many as before.

Ian is leaning against the hoarding feigning drunkenness. A couple approach. Ian has a coughing fit.

Gavin and Alan, who are about to attack the padlocked door with the jemmy, hear his signal and flatten themselves into the shadow of the hoarding.

The couple pass.

IAN
(singing)
"Oh you take the high road and I’ll take the low road..."

Alan and Gavin respond to this signal and resume work on the padlock.

The hasp comes away with a creak.

ALAN
(loud whisper)
Yes!

Ian creeps up the lane to join them.


EXT. THE MASON'S YARD - NIGHT
Ian, Gavin and Alan enter furtively.

There are tools lying around and a row of low sheds.

Straight ahead is a little stone stair leading to the back door of the Margaret Chapel.

Ian creeps up the stair, crouching below the balustrades, the door visible from the road. It is oak and studded with iron.

After a feeble attempt with the jemmy he crawls back down.

By the light of Ian’s hooded torch they creep through the sheds.

On both sides are workbenches, loaded with stone and drawings.

At the end is a locked door which they open easily with the jemmy.

They step out, and round a corner in a patch of light, completely accessible, within a few yards from them, is a brown wooden door.

IAN
(whispering in awe)
The door to Poet’s Corner!

They stare in wide eyed delight.


INT. KAY'S BEDROOM IN THE BALMORAL HOTEL - NIGHT
Kay is in bed asleep, but she has left her bedroom door ajar.

The telephone rings at the reception desk downstairs.

No one answers it.


INT. IN THE FORD - NIGHT
Alan is at the wheel.

Gavin is in the Anglia behind.

IAN
(getting in)
No reply. The jemmy will come in handy on the hotel door if they’re holding her hostage.

They drive off.


INT. OUTSIDE THE BALMORAL HOTEL - NIGHT
Ian is hammering on the hotel door.

A basement window opens and a head looks out.

HOTEL MANAGER
What do you want?

IAN
I want Miss Warren.

HOTEL MANAGER
It’s three o’bloody clock in the morning!

IAN
I know. I’m terribly sorry. But I’ve just had word that our father’s ill, and we’ve got to leave for Scotland right away.

HOTEL MANAGER
All right. All right. I’ll go and get her.

He slams the window. Ian goes back to the car.
INT. KAY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Kay is sitting up in bed, listening.

She hears the manager pick up the phone downstairs.

HOTEL MANAGER
(filtered)
Police? Yes, it’s the Balmoral ‘otel in St Pancras. I think you’d better send a man round ‘ere immediately. I can’t explain now. Just do it!

Kay gets up and gets dressed in a hurry.

INT. IN THE FORD OUTSIDE THE HOTEL - NIGHT
Alan and Ian are sitting in the car waiting.

They watch a man come along the road. He knocks on the door and is immediately admitted.
ALAN
Well! That man got in easily enough!

IAN
My knock can’t have had the right accent.

ALAN
What sort of hotel allows gentlemen callers at this sort of time?

IAN
Aye, you’re right. It’s maybe not the type of place for a lady!


INT. KAY'S BEDROOM IN THE BALMORAL HOTEL - NIGHT
Kay, dressed now is listening at her door to the conversation downstairs.

HOTEL MANAGER
(filtered)
That’s right officer. Said something about their dyin’ father. I wouldn’t ‘ave bothered you, but I find it very suspicious, them coming knockin’ at this time of the night. I’ve got the feelin’ that they’ve been up to no good. I think they stashed the moll in the ‘otel while they went and committed a crime.


INT. IN THE FORD - NIGHT
Ian and Alan are laughing, uneasily at the end of a joke.

Through the windshield they see the hotel door open and the stranger comes out and approaches the car.

He leans against the window and flashes a Metropolitan Police Warrant Card under Ian’s nose.

DETECTIVE
I’m a detective. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?

IAN
Of course not. Is there anything wrong?

DETECTIVE
Only routine. Can I see your driving licence?

Ian hands it over. The detective takes down the address.

IAN
What’s the trouble?

DETECTIVE
You realize that this is Christmas Eve, and thousands of people are in the West End with no transport to take them home?

IAN
I dare say. But I’m not lending them my car.

DETECTIVE
As it is, several hundred cars have already been stolen. What IS the number of YOUR car?

IAN
I don’t know. I hired it.

DETECTIVE
What’s the name of the garage you hired it from?

IAN
I really can’t remember.

The detective turns and gives a short blast on his whistle, and waves to someone up the road.

A large police car appears and draws up in front of them.

IAN
(indignant)
I’ve read all the rule books - Dicey and Bageshot, even Blackstone and the Road Traffic Acts. Not one of them says that the citizen must know the number of the car he’s driving.

Kay comes out of the hotel and approaches the car.

KAY
(to Ian)
It’s not Dad, brother? Is he worse?

IAN
I’m afraid so, Victoria.

Kay puts her hands over her face.

IAN (CONTD)
Look here, officer, there’s a man sitting round the corner in a Ford Anglia car who can prove everything I’m saying. He’s got the car hire receipt. Go and see him.

DETECTIVE
All right. But your friend comes with me.

Alan gets out and goes with the detective. Kay gets in beside Ian.

The driver of the police car eyes Ian distastefully, and then turns away.

Ian slips out the jemmy from his pocket and slides it under the seat.

The detective comes back chatting in a friendly manner with Gavin with the car hire receipt in his hand.

DETECTIVE
(to Ian)
Mr. Vernon has corroborated your story, sir. But may I point out that the receipt for the car is in his name, and being uninsured, you have no right to be driving. But on the whole I’m satisfied that nothing criminal is afoot.

The detective compares the receipt with the number of the car and writes in his little black book.

IAN
I hope you’re satisfied, constable. You nearly made a terrible mistake.

DETECTIVE
I’m very sorry, sir. But you must understand that there are many dishonest people about, and one has to do one’s duty. Where are you going now?

IAN
To Scotland of course, as quickly as possible! But how on earth to go about it?

DETECTIVE
I think you’ll find the Edgeware Road the quickest route north. Let me direct you. From here what you need to do is first of all turn left and follow the signs to Euston Road. After that head towards Camden Town and look for the turn off to Chalk Farm...

The detective leans into the window and give a plethora of details. Ian nods, pretending to take it all in.

They drive away in the direction indicated. The policemen wave.


INT. IN THE FORD LATER - NIGHT
Ian is driving, Kay at his side.

The Anglia with Gavin and Alan is following.
IAN
I tell you, Kay, it could all be a complicated trap. They might know about us. They’re following, laughing, just waiting for the right moment to pounce.

KAY
(laughing)
Och, don’t be daft, Ian! What a ridiculous idea! I think we’ve come far enough north now. We ought to be getting back to the Abbey.

IAN
Aye, well, we can’t be too careful.

He turns in the direction of the city.

IAN (CONTD)
So, how do you feel about it, Kay? Are you fit to go on?

KAY
You bet.

IAN
It’s a long time until dawn, and it’ll be a long day after that.

KAY
(snarling)
I’m ready for anything.

EXT. THE WEST END - NIGHT
There is very little traffic and very few people in the streets as the cars head for Whitehall.

A police car passes, heading in the opposite direction.

INT. A CAR PARK ALONG MILLBANK, NEAR THE ABBEY - NIGHT
BIG BEN IS STRIKING 4 O'CLOCK, as Ian and Kay get out of the Ford.

Ian puts the jemmy under his coat, locks the door and puts the keys in his pocket.

They join the others in the Anglia.

INT. IN THE ANGLIA - NIGHT
Ian takes out the jemmy and slips it under the front seat.

GAVIN
Four o’clock. The watchman will have finished his rounds.


IAN
We’d best use the Anglia for the whole job. They don’t know it, and even if it’s spotted outside the Abbey, it’s a common enough brand to slip through. That detective got my name and address and the number of my car, so I’ll act as the decoy and set out for Wales while you head south for Dartmoor with the Stone.

ALAN
We’re really going to do it!

KAY
Let’s go!

Alan starts the car.


EXT. OLD PALACE YARD NEXT TO THE ABBEY - NIGHT
Alan drives the Anglia up the lane, switching off the lights halfway. He turns it round skillfully in the restricted space.

Ian, Gavin and Alan get out and Kay gets into the driver’s seat.

Instead of going the long way round the lads vault the railings and cross to the door, lit by the lamp-post.

Gavin pushes at the door with his shoulder.

GAVIN
(hissing)
The jemmy!

IAN
(to Alan)
The jemmy!

ALAN
What? I thought you had it.

Sheepishly, Ian returns to the railings and signals to Kay in the car.

IAN
(whispering )
The jemmy!

Kay gets the jemmy and passes it through the railings to Ian.

He returns to the others and hands it to Gavin. With the sharp end he chews away enough wood to get leeway to force the blade between the two sections of the door.

All three of them put their weight on the end of the jemmy, and the door gives with a series of load creaks.

Ian is able to put his hand through a space and can feel the hasp on the inside, which has become loose.


INT. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR - NIGHT
We see Ian’s hand testing the hasp of the lock and then withdrawing.

On one side of the door we see a bolt mating with the stone on the floor. Renewed pressure from the outside forces it out of its niche.

We see the end of the jemmy appear near the padlock and hasp again.


EXT. OUTSIDE THE DOOR - NIGHT
Again, all three put their weight behind the jemmy and wrench mightily.

With a crash, the door flies open.

EXT. IN THE ANGLIA - NIGHT
Kay, hearing the crash of the opening door, closes her eyes and shudders.

INT. THE ABBEY - NIGHT
The boys sweep in. Ian pulls the doors closed behind them.

There is a faint light at the west end of the nave but the rest is in darkness. Ian has his torch.

They hurry silently down the transept. The gate in the metal grille is open. They creep through, round and up into the Confessor’s Chapel. Ian’s torchlight catches the green marble tomb of Edward the First.

Alan and Gavin lift aside the rail which keeps the public away from the throne. The Stone, breast-high, is under the Coronation Chair.

They prise at the bar of wood which holds it in. It is dry and old, and cracks and splinters. The Stone is very closely fitted and is difficult to maneuver.

Ian goes behind and pushes. It moves a little, but not enough. Chains on the side are catching on the carved sides of the chair.

They call a halt to their impatient fever. Alan holds the torch, Gavin prises the sides with the jemmy and Ian pushes from behind.

The Stone slides forward.

The plaque reading ‘CORONATION STONE AND CHAIR’ falls from the chair. Ian catches it mid-air and thrusts it in his coat pocket.

GAVIN
Now!

Ian pushes from behind.

The Stone slides out, and Gavin and Alan have it between them.

Ian rushes forward to help. They stagger with it for a yard, and then put it down.

It is too heavy.

ALAN
A coat.

IAN
Mine’s the strongest.

He slips the jemmy out of his pocket, struggles out of his coat and lays it on the ground.

Together they heave up the Stone and put it on the coat.

Ian seizes one of the iron rings imbedded in the Stone and pulls strongly.

It comes too easily.

IAN (CONTD)
Stop!

He shines the torch on the Stone and discovers that he has pulled a whole corner off, a gigantic cube - about a quarter of the whole.

ALAN
(shocked)
Oh my God!

Ian picks up the small part, staggers to the door to the Sacrarium and shoulders it open.

He runs with his burden towards the Poet’s Corner door.


EXT. THE MASON'S YARD - NIGHT
Ian emerges from the Abbey and shoulders his way through the doors of the huts they had forced earlier.


EXT. IN THE LANE - NIGHT
Kay has seen him coming and brought the car halfway down the lane. She has opened the door.

Ian emerges from the yard and rolls the piece of Stone onto the back seat.

IAN
We’ve broke it. Get back into cover.

Kay backs up the car while Ian runs back into the Abbey.


INT. IN THE ABBEY - NIGHT
Alan and Gavin are halfway down the altar steps with the Stone.

Ian joins them, and with the occasional gasp and grunt they swing it down step by step in the coat.

At the foot of the steps they drag it across the nave.

As they turn into the transept there is a crunching sound.

They stop to investigate. The plaque has fallen out of the coat pocket and the sound was caused by the weight of the stone passing over it. Alan swiftly pockets it.

They continue dragging their burden to the Poet’s Corner door, where they stop for a breather.

ALAN
One more pull. We’re not going to be beaten now.

Ian pushes open the door and steps out.


EXT. OUTSIDE THE POET'S CORNER DOOR - NIGHT
Ian hears the car start up.

It moves forward to a place clearly visible from the road.

IAN
(to himself)
Oh no! She’s far too early!

He runs through the sheds to tell Kay to get back under cover.


EXT. OUTSIDE THE DOOR TO THE HOARDING - NIGHT
The car is parked outside the hoarding gate.

Ian opens the car door.

IAN
Get the car back. We’re not ready yet.

KAY
A policeman has seen me. He’s coming across the road.


INT. IN THE ANGLIA - NIGHT
Ian gets in the car and silently closes the door.

He switches on the side lights, wipes the Abbey dust from his hands on Kay’s jacket.

He puts one hand over the back of the seat and covers the fragment of Stone with Alan’s spare coat.

Then he embraces Kay, burying his face in her neck.

A POLICEMAN approaches.

He stops and bangs on the window.

Ian comes out of the embrace and winds down the window.

POLICEMAN
What’s going on here?

IAN
It’s Christmas Eve, you know, officer.

POLICEMAN
Christmas Eve be damned. It’s five o’clock on Christmas morning!

KAY
Ochone! Is it that time already?

POLICEMAN
You’re on private property here. And why did you move forward when you saw me coming?

IAN
(humbly)
I know. I knew we shouldn’t be here. We put on the lights to show you that we were quite willing to move on.

KAY
But where can we go? The streets are far too busy.

POLICEMAN
You should be off home.

IAN
We’re on holiday from Scotland. We arrived too late to get a bed, so we’ve been touring around instead looking at the lights and we ended up here to pass the night away.

Ian and Kay are holding hands affectionately.
The policeman takes off his hat and lays it on the roof. He lights a cigarette.

POLICEMAN
There’s a car park just along the road.


EXT. IN THE MASON'S YARD - NIGHT
Alan and Gavin are lugging the Stone through the sheds. They dump it down for a rest.

GAVIN
Where’s that bastard, Ian? Sitting talking to Kay while we do all the work!

ALAN
Aye, we need all the help we can!
They begin to drag the Stone. It makes A SCRAPING SOUND.


INT. IN THE ANGLIA - NIGHT
Kay and Ian are aware of THE SCRAPING NOISE behind the hoarding.

KAY
(loudly and jovially)
And if we’re not comfortable in the car park, I suppose we can always rely on you to run us in and give us a bed in the cells?

POLICEMAN
No, no. There’s not a policeman in London would arrest you tonight. None of us want to appear in court on Boxing Day to give evidence against you.

KAY
It’s a good night for crime!

They laugh loudly, trying to warn the others.

There is A MUFFLED THUD from behind the hoarding.

The policeman stops speaking, alert and listening.

Kay and Ian sit rigidly tense.

POLICEMAN
(laughing)
That was the old watchman falling down the stairs!

Ian and Kay again laugh loud and long.


EXT. THE MASON'S YARD - NIGHT
Gavin and Alan are near the hoarding door. They can hear IAN AND KAY’S LAUGHTER.

GAVIN
They must have gone off their heads with the strain.


EXT. AT THE ANGLIA - NIGHT
POLICEMAN
I wish it was six o’clock. Then I’d be off duty.

Behind him, the door of the hoarding slowly opens.

Gavin’s head and shoulders appear. He sees the policeman and freezes.

He edges slowly back in and closes the door.

The policeman puts out his cigarette and puts his helmet back on.

POLICEMAN (CONTD)
You’d better be going now.

IAN
We had!

KAY
Will you show us the way?

POLICEMAN
Oh, you can’t miss the car park. Just keep going up the road and it’s on your left.

KAY
Merry Christmas, officer!

She starts the engine and drives off down the lane.

The policeman watches them go.


INT. IN THE ANGLIA - NIGHT
Kay is driving along the road towards the car park.

IAN
This is the marked car now. He didn’t ask to see a licence or any form of identification, but as soon as the hue and cry is raised they’ll be looking for an Anglia to match this description, and the driver will be arrested. It’s a lot on your head, Kay, but you’re the one who’s going to have to get off alone as quickly as possible, with at least part of the Stone. It’s enough to prove our point.

KAY
I’ll head for Birmingham. I have a friend there whom I’m sure will help us.

IAN
Meanwhile, I’ll get back to the others and see if we can get the rest before the night watchman does his rounds and finds it missing.

They pull into the car park.

IAN (CONTD)
I’ll just have time to lead you to the road to Victoria before I take the car back to the Abbey.

He gets out of the Anglia.


EXT. THE CAR PARK IN MILLBANK - NIGHT
Ian feels through his pockets, jacket and trousers, for the keys to the other car, but can’t find them.

IAN
Damn! The keys are in my coat that we used for a sledge in the Abbey!

He takes Alan’s old coat and puts it on, then lifts the bit of Stone from the back seat and puts it in the boot of the car. He gets in the car beside Kay and they drive away.

Just as they are driving away, Alan and Gavin arrive.

They run after the departing Anglia, but they are too late.

GAVIN
We’ll use the Ford. The keys are in Ian’s coat pocket.

Alan searches the pockets.

ALAN
They’re not here. He must have them on him.

A police car suddenly races by with its siren going in the direction of the Abbey.

GAVIN
Oh God! The game’s up! What do we do now?

ALAN
Get as far away from here as possible!

He drops Ian’s coat behind the car.

They start walking.


EXT. A STREET NEAR VICTORIA - NIGHT
Ian gets out of the car and closes the door. He leans in the window.

IAN
(pointing)
Go that way. You’re on your own now.

Someone walking past eyes them curiously. Ian kisses Kay on the cheek.

IAN (CONTD)
It’s been a lovely party, darling!

Kay’s eyes flash appreciation at the irony, and she drives off.

Ian stands and watches for a moment, then he turns and runs.


EXT. SOME TRAFFIC LIGHTS NEAR VICTORIA - NIGHT
Kay halts the Anglia as the lights turn red.

EXT. A STREET LEADING TO THE ABBEY - NIGHT
Ian is running, but then slows down, realizing that he is making himself conspicuous.

He glances at his wristwatch to check the time - and discovers that his watch is missing!

EXT. THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS NEAR VICTORIA - NIGHT
The lights turn green.

As Kay pulls away the boot flies open and the piece of Stone falls onto the road.

Kay stops the car and gets out.

She lifts the heavy stone back in, closes the boot firmly, gets back in the car and drives away.

EXT. APPROACHING THE ABBEY - NIGHT
Ian lowers his head as he passes a policeman in the street.

EXT. THE LANE OUTSIDE THE MASON'S YARD - NIGHT
Ian looks around.

Seeing no one in sight he walks into the lane and passes through the door into the Mason’s yard.
EXT. THE MASON'S YARD - NIGHT
Ian stands looking down.

The Stone is at his feet.

He looks around.

IAN
(calling in a whisper)
Alan! Gavin!

There is no reply.


EXT. THE POET'S CORNER DOOR - NIGHT
Ian eases open the door and goes in.


INT. THE ABBEY - NIGHT
The faint light still shines at the end of the nave.

Ian gives a quiet whistle. There is no response.


EXT. OLD PALACE YARD NEXT TO THE ABBEY - NIGHT
As Ian emerges from the lane an early riser passes him.

EARLY RISER
Merry Christmas!

IAN
Aye! Indeed! A Merry Christmas to you!
He breaks into a trot back to the car park.


EXT. THE CAR PARK IN MILLBANK - NIGHT
The Ford is still there, but no people.

Ian sits on a wing of the car looking desolate and lights a cigarette.

We go into his melancholy eyes and see snatches of his thoughts...

INT. THE ABBEY - NIGHT
The plaque reading ‘CORONATION STONE AND CHAIR’ falls from the chair.

Ian catches it mid-air and thrusts it in his coat pocket.

He slips the jemmy out of his pocket, struggles out of his coat and lays it on the ground.

Together they heave up the Stone and put it on the coat.

As they turn into the transept there is a crunching sound.

They stop to investigate. The plaque has fallen out of the coat pocket and the sound was caused by the weight of the stone passing over it. Alan swiftly pockets it.


EXT. THE CAR PARK - NIGHT
IAN
The keys were in the coat!

Ian throws away his cigarette and runs back towards the Abbey, not worried about being conspicuous this time.


INT. THE ABBEY - NIGHT
The door to Poet’s Corner opens and Ian enters.

He gets down on his hands and knees and gropes along the route to the altar steps but finds nothing.

He takes out a matchbox and lights several matches while retracing his steps.

Near the door he stops, bends down and picks up the keys.

The ring has been flattened, but the keys are undamaged.


EXT. HEADING TOWARDS MILLBANK - NIGHT
Ian is running.


INT. THE ABBEY - NIGHT
The night watchman, Andrew Hyslop, is doing his rounds.

He walks down the transept, shining his torch.


EXT. THE CAR PARK - NIGHT
The battery is flat.

Ian cranks up the Ford’s engine with the starting handle.

It starts.

He jumps in and races the engine furiously.

He pulls out of the car park.


INT. THE ABBEY - NIGHT
The watchman, appalled, is shining his torch on the empty space where the Stone used to be.


EXT. NEAR OLD PALACE YARD - NIGHT
There are two policemen opposite at the doors of the Houses of Parliament under St Stephen’s Tower as Ian drives past.

Few pedestrians are about.


EXT. THE LANE - NIGHT
Ian swings the car into the lane, in sight of the policemen.

He backs up fast, smacking the hoarding heavily with the wing of the car, stops and gets out.


INT. THE ABBEY - NIGHT
The watchman is running down the transept, heading for the telephone in the office.


EXT. THE MASON'S YARD - NIGHT
Ian takes one end of the stone and drags it out to the car.

EXT. THE LANE - NIGHT
Ian raises the stone and walks it corner by corner to the car door.

He tips one end in.

The car comes down with a crash on its springs.

He lifts the other end mightily until it passes dead center into the car and falls with a crash.

INT. IN THE FORD - NIGHT
Ian follows the Stone and lifts it bodily onto the back seat.

He takes off Alan’s coat and covers the Stone with it.

Then he gets into the driving seat and drives down the lane.

INT. THE WATCHMAN'S OFFICE - NIGHT
WATCHMAN
(on the telephone)
Hello? Scotland Yard? This is Westminster Abbey. I wish to report a loss...


EXT. WESTMINSTER BRIDGE - NIGHT
Ian drives past the tower of Big Ben and across Westminster Bridge.


EXT. A SIDE STREET - NIGHT
Ian pulls up alongside a pedestrian and leans out of the window.

IAN
Excuse me. Could you direct me to the Old Kent Road?

PEDESTRIAN
Oh, you’re headed in the wrong direction. You need to turn round. Then you take the first left, no right, and you should see it signposted after that.

IAN
Thank you.

He turns the car around.


EXT. ANOTHER SIDE STREET - NIGHT
Ian stops another two pedestrians and asks them the way.

One points in one direction, the other points in the opposite direction. They start arguing.

Ian drives away and leaves them to it.

INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
A cold grey dawn is just breaking as Ian turns into another mean street.

Suddenly his mouth drops open and his eyes widen in wonder.

There, plodding away from him in the middle of the deserted street are Alan and Gavin!

EXT. IN THE STREET - DAY
Ian drives fast and pulls up behind them with a squeal of brakes.

Without turning round, Alan and Gavin break into a run and flee down the street.

Ian shouts out the window at them.

IAN
Hey! I’ve got a bit of Bannockburn in the back seat!

Alan and Gavin stop running and come back. Ian opens the near side door.

IAN (CONTD)
I’ve got it! I’ve got it! Look! It’s in there.

He pulls back the coat and reveals the Stone in the back seat.

Alan and Gavin both dive to get in beside it, and jam in the doorway.

IAN (CONTD)
Only one. The springs won’t hold the weight of you both.

Alan falls inside and Gavin closes the door.

IAN (CONTD)
We’ve go to find a piece of open ground where we can hide it.

He gives Gavin some money.

IAN (CONTD)
Meet us at Reading Station at four o’clock.

GAVIN
Right you are. Good luck.

IAN
We’ve been getting our fair share of that!

Ian and Alan drive away, leaving Gavin standing on the pavement watching them go.


INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
They are driving through suburbia.

IAN
We did it! We did it!

ALAN
It’s hard to believe!

IAN
What happened to my coat?

ALAN
Didn’t you get it? We left it behind the car.


EXT. THE CAR PARK IN MILLBANK - DAY
Ian’s dirty coat lies on the ground. A name tag with the words "IAN HAMILTON" is clearly visible.


INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
Alan is driving.

Ian lies back with his eyes closed, his forehead wet with sweat.

He sits up suddenly and peers out in all directions.

IAN
Have you not spotted a suitable hiding place yet? Can’t you drive faster?

ALAN
Calm down, Ian. Are you all right?

Ian looks down at his scratched and worn hands.

They are shaking, and spots of light dance about in front of his eyes.

IAN
No, I’m not. Let me take the wheel again, Alan. I’m feeling dizzy and faint, and I need the concentration of driving.

Alan slows down and stops.

Ian staggers out and takes his place at the wheel.

He drives away.


EXT. ON THE ROAD - DAY
At a crossroads they pass a large mock-Elizabethan roadhouse.

Straight ahead is a line of poplars.

They are in open country.

Further up the road they see a little cart track climbing up into the fields.

INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
IAN
This is as good a place as any.

He turns off the road and noses up the cart track.

EXT. OUT OF SIGHT OF THE ROAD - DAY
They get out, climb a bank and look over it.

There is a little hollow on the other side with a few bushes and trees, an overgrown path running through it.

They go back to the car, lift the Stone out, and half-drag, half-roll it up the hill. They are both very tired.

From the top of the slope they let the Stone toboggan down the other side, drag it away from the path and cover it with grass and leaves and crown it with a piece of scrap metal.

From the top of the rise they look back at their handiwork.

It seems very conspicuous.

They look at each other, shrug, and return to the car.

INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
Alan is driving.

IAN
Now should be the time for a song, but I’m too exhausted.

ALAN
Me too.

IAN
I’m a marked man, Alan. I’ve chatted with two policemen and one of them has my name and address, I’ve even shaken hands with the night watchman in the Abbey! I’m too dangerous to be seen with. You meet Gavin at Reading at four; hire a car and transport the Stone to Dartmoor. I’ll play the decoy and make for Wales in the Ford.

ALAN
Okay. It might not be too late to retrieve your coat from the car
park. The police have enough clues to go on, but that’s evidence with knobs on!


EXT. SUBURBIA - DAY
Ian is driving.

They are passing through the dull uniform suburban streets which surround the city of London.

INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
IAN
You know, Alan, I don’t envy these people. Getting up to another day of beer and Christmas turkey. The very thought of their lives terrifies me. The sameness of their existence day after day - night only bringing the promise of an identical dawn. They only want security - the cement of society - the God of suburbia. But give me adventure any day! I want to die with a pageant in my mind of a life lived to the full. I’m not after security or a pension or a portfolio of shares. I’ll trade wealth for the richness of life itself - a life filled with bright memories like this, of risks faced and chances taken, even if it means dying a pauper!

He glances at Alan to see his reaction.

Alan is asleep, his head slumped forward.

Ian smiles.


EXT. THE CAR PARK IN MILLBANK - DAY
Alan and Ian park the car across the road.

After carefully checking that the coast is clear, they walk over to the car park.

The coat is still there, lying on the ground in a terrible state.

After furtively glancing around, Ian picks it up.

ALAN
Do you think someone up there likes us?

IAN
It certainly looks that way. Alan, to be really safe you ought to take the train to Reading to meet Gavin, but I’ll be glad to take you if you want to risk it.

ALAN
It’s early still. They may not be on to us yet. Besides, if I can’t face risks and take chances, I’d rather die a pauper!


Alan grins cheekily and runs across the road to the Ford, pursued by a surprised and laughing Ian, whacking him with his coat.


INT. THE GENT'S TOILET OF READING STATION - DAY
Ian is washing his face and Alan is combing his hair in the mirror.

Ian dries his face on the hanging towel.

IAN
No Gavin yet, but you’re not meeting till four. He’s probably stayed in London for a meal. I wish we could have had one here, but Reading’s deserted, and there’s no room at the inn.

ALAN
We can’t really afford to be splashing out on food anyway.


IAN
It’s true. Stocks are getting low.

He opens his wallet, counts out some money and gives it to Alan.

IAN (CONTD)
It’s most important that you have enough to hire a car, and I’m afraid this might not be enough. I’ll phone Bill Craig on the way to Wales and arrange to have more money sent to Gavin care of the Post Office in the Strand. You’ll have to wait until after the Christmas holiday to pick it up.


EXT. READING STATION SQUARE - DAY
Ian pulls away in the Ford.

Alan stands waving, watching him go.

IAN
(leaning out of the window)
Give my love to Gavin!


INT. A RESTAURANT IN LONDON - DAY
Gavin is at a table in a crowded restaurant enjoying a meal.

As he is about to put a forkful of food to his mouth, he looks up and his eyes meet those of a man eating at a table opposite.

The man stops eating and stares at Gavin.

Gavin goes back to his meal and eats hastily. When he looks up again the man is eating very slowly and deliberately, his eyes on Gavin.

Gavin signals the waitress and hurriedly pays the bill.

He gets up and leaves.

The man quickly settles his account and follows Gavin out into the street.


INT. A TELEPHONE BOX NEAR THE VILLAGE OF THATCHAM - DAY
The Ford is parked outside.

Ian puts the money in the slot as the call is answered.

IAN
Hello? Mrs. Craig? I’d like to speak to your son Bill, please. Oh yes of course, I’m sorry! A very Merry Christmas to you too!

He waits.


EXT. A STREET IN LONDON - DAY
Gavin is walking through the streets, trying to look nonchalant.

He turns and looks over his shoulder.

The man from the restaurant is following him!

Alan hurries towards the station. The man follows.


INT. A TELEPHONE BOX OUTSIDE THATCHAM - DAY
BILL (FILTERED)
Yes?

IAN
This is Ian Johnstone.

BILL (FILTERED)
(ill-tempered)
Who’s Ian Johnstone?

IAN
Ian Johnstone, the famous novelist! Wake up! I need another advance.


INT. WESTMINSTER STATION - DAY
Gavin is at the ticket office.

GAVIN
I’d like a ticket for R-

He turns round.

The man who has been following him is standing right behind him.

Gavin glances at a timetable on the wall.

GAVIN (CONTD)
That is, a ticket to RUGBY, if you please.

TICKET CLERK
There’s a train leaving for Rugby almost immediately - platform 12 -would you like that one?

GAVIN
Yes please. I’ll take it!

He hands over money.


INT. THE PHONE BOX OUTSIDE THATCHAM - DAY
IAN
Aye, care of the Strand Post Office, London should be enough.

By the way, Bill, the book has been a great success down here...

BILL (FILTERED)
(loud)
HAS IT?!!

IAN
Wait and see!

He puts the phone down and smiles to himself.


INT. A PLATFORM AT WESTMINSTER STATION - DAY
The signalman blows the whistle and the train for Rugby is just pulling out of the station as Gavin jumps on it.

He looks at his watch. It is four o’clock.

He looks out of the window and sees the man who has been following him.

The man takes off his hat in salute.

He winks at Gavin and blows a kiss.

The train leaves.


EXT. A SUBURBAN STREET IN BIRMINGHAM - DAY
The Anglia pulls up in front of a house and Kay gets out.

She locks the car, goes up to the front door and rings the bell.

A girl of about the same age, VALERIE, wearing a paper party hat, opens the front door.

VALERIE
Kay! My God! What a surprise!

KAY
I’m a fugitive. I’ve got part of the Stone of Destiny with me.

VALERIE
It doesn’t matter. You’re a friend of mine, and that’s all that counts!

She embraces her warmly.

VALERIE (CONTD)
Let’s go up to my bedroom and invent a plausible story before I introduce you to Mummy.

They go inside.


INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
Ian is on his way to Wales.

Suddenly he hears the sound of a police car siren behind him.

He tenses and slows down.

The police car drives past without stopping.

Ian looks surprised.


INT. VALERIE'S HOME IN BIRMINGHAM - DAY
Valerie and her friends and family, all dressed in paper party hats, are celebrating Christmas.

The older members sit around drinking and talking, while the younger members, including Kay, are playing a game of musical chairs, controlled by Valerie, who is using the radio.

Popular music is playing. She turns off the radio and there is a scramble for the seats with much laughter.

Valerie’s mother and aunt are watching the game.

AUNT
Who’s that dark haired girl in the red hat? I don’t think I’ve seen her before.

MOTHER
She’s a friend of Valerie’s from Scotland. Her brother’s in the forces and he’s just been posted to Korea. She collected his car in Oxford and was driving it back to Scotland, but the roads are so bad that she’s decided to leave it here and return to Scotland by train.

AUNT
She’s a brave girl to have motored all the way here from Oxford on such bad roads!


INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
Ian is still on his way to Wales.

Another police car comes up from behind and passes him.

Ian stops the car and sit for a moment, thinking.

Then he starts the car, turns it round and heads back towards Reading.


INT. THE CHRISTMAS PARTY IN BIRMINGHAM - DAY
Valerie stands by the radio with her hand on the volume control.

There are now only two chairs left in the game of ‘musical chairs’.

Kay and two other guests dance around the chairs while the music plays on the radio.

Suddenly the music stops and they scramble for the chairs.

Kay is left standing.

RADIO ANNOUNCER (FILTERED)
We interrupt this programme for an important announcement. The famous Stone of Destiny, part of the Coronation Chair in Westminster Abbey has been stolen. The loss was discovered early this morning. Scotland Yard has begun urgent enquiries. Now back to the music.

Kay lets out a scream of surprise.

Everyone stares at her.

She covers her mouth and shares a secret glance with Valerie.

VALERIE
I’m sorry to tell you people on the chairs that you shouldn’t have sat down because I did not turn the radio off. You have both broken the rules, and so I declare Kay, our visitor from across the
border, the undisputed winner of the game!

Valerie holds Kay’s arm up like a champion, and the other guests applaud.

VALERIE (CONTD)
Congratulations!

She kisses her on the cheek.

Kay laughs in triumph.


EXT. ON THE PLATFORM AT READING RAILWAY STATION - DAY
Alan is standing on the platform waiting for the next train from London.

Ian walks up behind him and taps him on the shoulder.

Alan wheels round.

ALAN
Ian! You scared the life out of me! What are you doing here?

IAN
The police didn’t seem that interested in me, and I thought I’d be more useful helping you and Gavin than sitting in Wales waiting to be arrested.

ALAN
I’m glad you did. I was beginning to get worried. He hasn’t shown.

IAN
There’s time yet.

The station clock shows three o’clock.


EXT. THE SAME - DAY
The station clock shows half past four.

People are coming off the train from London, but Gavin is not among them.

ALAN
Something must have happened.

IAN
We can’t wait any longer. We’ll have a meal in London before we go back for the Stone.

ALAN
If you hadn’t decided to return...

IAN
Don’t even think about it!


INT. A CROWDED RESTAURANT OFF PICADILLY IN LONDON - DAY
Alan and Ian are finishing their meal.

A couple are at the table next to them. Another couple arrive and join them.

WOMAN 1
Sorry we’re late, darling, but you know what men are! Robert just couldn’t decide what to wear!

MAN 1
And this isn’t it! Merry Christmas, chaps!

ALL
Merry Christmas!

They shake hands and kiss and sit down together.

WOMAN 2
I say, have you heard the news? About the doings in Westminster Abbey?

WOMAN 1
No? Do tell! Something rather disreputable?

MAN 2
It was on the radio several times this afternoon. Apparently someone’s gone and stolen the Stone of Destiny!

MAN 1
Stone of Destiny? What’s that when it’s at home?

WOMAN 2
It’s this rock - sacred, apparently - that kings and queens sit over when they get crowned at coronations, but it isn’t at home any more!

MAN 2
Some cheeky blighters broke into the Abbey last night and nicked the blinking thing!

WOMAN 1
What on earth would anyone want a thing like that for?

WOMAN 2
They might be onto a nice little winner. Private coronations - at a price! I’m sure there’s many an American tourist that would fork out for the privilege of sitting on it, and go back to the States claiming to be Britain’s rightful monarch!

MAN 2
Anyway, we haven’t heard the last of this, by a long chalk. It’ll be headline news tomorrow, mark my words! The hive is buzzing!

MAN 1
Well, jolly good luck to the joking pilferers, whoever they be! And here’s to the Stone of Destiny, God bless her, and all who sit on her!

He raises his glass.

ALL
The Stone of Destiny!

They drink a toast and laugh.

Ian and Alan, smiling secretly and proudly at each other, pay their bill and leave.



INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
Ian is driving.

IAN
That’s us they were talking about!

ALAN
Aye, I know.

IAN
How does it make you feel?

ALAN
Pleased as a peacock!

IAN
You mean proud as a peacock!

ALAN
Aye - that too!

They laugh happily.

IAN
I’ll have to call Bill Craig.

ALAN
Can I call my folks?

IAN
Why not?


INT. A TELEPHONE BOX ON THE DOVER ROAD - NIGHT
IAN
Hello? This is Ian Johnstone. I’m phoning about the book.


INT. BILL CRAIG'S HOME IN SCOTLAND - NIGHT
Bill is in the hall of his house.

His mother listens from the living room, the door ajar.

BILL
Never mind the riddles. They can’t be tapping every line to Scotland. There’s nothing else in the papers or on the radio, except what you’ve done. The Borders have road blocks on them for the first time in 400 years, and the whole of Scotland is mad with excitement. There are two descriptions out. I can recognize them, but they’re not a hundred percent. How are you standing up?

IAN (FILTERED)
Fine.

BILL
Well, lie low. And good luck.

He puts the phone down.
INT. IN THE FORD - NIGHT
Ian, in the Ford, watches Alan gesticulating in the phone box outside.

Alan puts down the phone and comes out of the box. He gets into the car.

IAN
How did they take it?

ALAN
They were astounded. They thought I was at a wedding!

They drive off.


EXT. ON THE ROAD - NIGHT
They pass the same mock-Elizabethan road house, lit up, the car park full for Christmas parties.


EXT. THE CART TRACK - DAY
The car turns off the road and bumps up the cart track.


EXT. ON THE SLOPE OF THE HILL - NIGHT
The grass is slippery with frost.

Ian and Alan have got it halfway up the hill when they lose their grasp, and it toboggans back down.

Ian lies down for a moment, tired and exhausted, then gets up again and joins Alan to renew their efforts to get the Stone to the car.


EXT. THE CART TRACK - NIGHT
Ian and Alan have managed to get the Stone over the hill and slide it down.

They heave together and dump it into the back seat.

They close the door, lean against it, and slump to the ground in unison.


INT. IN THE FORD - NIGHT
Driving south, the roads are flanked by high-hedged lanes which give way to narrow sunken roads.

Signpost follows signpost and the lights of houses are often in view.

IAN
This is just suburbia on a higher level. We can’t hide the Stone in some rich stockbroker’s shrubbery. How would he explain it to the police?

ALAN
We’ve been going in circles for miles. Let’s get back to the main road. I keep telling you - we should hide it where they’d least expect it.

IAN
All right, I succumb. But where the hell are we?

Alan opens a large scale touring map and looks at it in bewilderment.

ALAN
Read me the signposts.

They drive on.


EXT. THE DOVER ROAD - NIGHT
The car stops.

Alan and Ian get out.

They take out the Stone and carry it to some bushes near the road, dump it there, then walk back to the car.

They turn back and look at their handiwork.

The Stone sticks out like a sore thumb.

IAN
Och, no! Alan - come on! "Oh look, Mummy! There’s the Stone of Destiny!"

ALAN
You’re right. Obvious can be obvious. Where next?

They go back, pick up the Stone and carry it to the car.


INT. IN THE FORD - NIGHT
A line of trees 10 yards from the road, comes into view. Some aircraft hangars loom in the distance.

Ian stops the car.

IAN
This could be the ideal place.

He gets out of the car and walks towards the trees.


EXT. BY THE ROADSIDE - NIGHT
Ian walks back from the trees giving the thumbs-up signal.

Alan gets out of the car.

IAN
It’s perfect.

They lift the Stone out of the car and stagger with it towards the trees.

A car approaches along the road.

Ian and Alan drop the Stone and sit on it. They pretend to be looking at the map while the car passes.

ALAN
Do you think we looked suspicious?

IAN
They’ll have thought we’ve escaped from the local loony bin! Come on.

They drag the Stone to the fence surrounding the little wood and push it under.


EXT. IN THE WOOD - NIGHT
Alan and Ian are hollowing out a recess in the leafy earth with their hands.

They lift the Stone into it and cover it with earth, leaves, straw and some scraps of paper that are lying around.

They walk away a few paces, then turn and examine their handiwork.

IAN
Couldn’t be better.

They shake hands and head up the slope to the fence.


EXT. AT THE CAR - NIGHT
IAN
We’ll take turns at driving. Half an hour each.

ALAN
You can sleep first.

IAN
I won’t argue with you.

He opens the back door, crawls in, and lies down on the back seat.

IAN (CONTD)
Home, James! And don’t spare the horses.

Alan closes the door on him and gets in the front.

They drive away.

INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
The sun is just rising. The car is parked off the road next to a field in the country.

Ian is asleep in the front seat. Alan is asleep in the back.

Ian wakes and sits up. He gets out of the car.

EXT. IN THE COUNTRY - DAY
Ian yawns and stretches. He looks at the map.

A bleary-eyed Alan climbs out of the back

ALAN
Where are we?

IAN
Biggleswade.

ALAN
How odd. We’ve come a long way then.

IAN
(pointing at the map)
This far.

Alan studies the map and smiles.

Ian washes his face and hands in the frost he rubs from the grass and dries them on his towel.

He lights a cigarette while Alan copies his washing technique, then hands him a cigarette.

They look at each other and smile.

ALAN
It’s not a dream, is it? We really did what we did?



IAN
(grinning)
And what was that, then?

ALAN
Raided the very heart of Englishry, and caused the gnashing of teeth and hastily called committee meetings?

IAN
Do you remember? Do you remember!

They laugh and hug each other, dancing around.

They jump into the car, and Alan drives off, the two of them singing old Jacobite songs at the top of their voices.


EXT. A SMALL ENGLISH VILLAGE - DAY
The Ford roars through the centre of a quiet English village.

The SOUND OF IAN AND GAVIN’S SINGING pours out of the car window as they pass.

A couple of pedestrians stop and stare in amazement.


INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
IAN
I wish I knew that Kay was safe. The Anglia would be the first car the police’d be looking for.

ALAN
And what happened to Gavin? How come he didn’t turn up at Reading station?

IAN
We’re coming into Stamford. I’ll phone Bill Craig for the latest news.

ALAN
And I’ll look for our breakfast.


INT. THE POST OFFICE IN STAMFORD - DAY
Apart from the postmistress there are no other people in the post office. Ian is on the phone to Bill Craig.

IAN
How’s Christmas?

BILL
(filtered)
Fine. There’s a big party going on. One of the guest’s has just arrived. He’s fine. We’re still waiting for his partner.

IAN
Gav-?

BILL
And the Border’s closed. Everything coming into Scotland’s being searched.

IAN
(laughing)
Are the English putting up customs posts at last?

BILL
You’d better go to ground.

IAN
Not at all. It’s not necessary.

BILL
If you’ve hidden it, send me a map. For God’s sake, let’s not lose it now!


INT. IN THE POST OFFICE - LATER - DAY
Ian is drawing a map on the back of an envelope.

Alan comes in.

ALAN
Everything’s closed for Boxing Day. What’s that?

IAN
A map for Bill of how to find the Stone in case we get captured. Or imagine if we were killed in an accident? No one knows where it is except us.

ALAN
There IS a bit of a problem with the steering wheel...

Ian puts the map into a registered envelope, seals it and hands it to the postmistress.


INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
Alan is driving. Ian is lying in the back seat.


ALAN
You did a grand job on the carburettor, Ian, but I don’t know what you’ve done to the steering wheel! Before you put your spanner to it we could have got home in twelve hours - now we’ll be lucky if we get there in twenty four!

IAN
(quoting)
I will take the road right gaily,
Heed no storm of wind or rain,
When at journey’s end there’s ceilidh
At the Inn of Edinbane.

Weariness will bring no sorrow,
I’ll be younger every mile,
When I know that ere tomorrow
I’ll be on Cuchullain’s Isle.


ALAN
(after a pause)
That’s braw. Who’s it by?

IAN
John MacKormick.


INT. IN THE FORD LATER - DAY
Alan is driving. Ian is dozing in the back.

We see the back of a police car through the windshield. It is deliberately slowing down in front of them.

ALAN
(quietly)
It’s the police, Ian.

IAN
(sitting up)
Where are we?

ALAN
Twenty miles north of Doncaster.

Alan pulls out to pass the police car.

As they draw level the two policemen scrutinize them closely. Ian stares coldly back.

They pass them.


EXT. ON THE ROAD - DAY
The police car puts on speed and travels beside them, signalling them to stop.

The police car pulls up in front of them.

The two policemen get out and come to Alan’s window with their notebooks ready.

POLICEMAN 1
May we see your driving license, sir?

ALAN
(handing it to them)
Not again.

POLICEMAN 2
What do you mean, Not again?

ALAN
It’s the third time we’ve been stopped in two hours.

POLICEMAN 1
Where've you been?

ALAN
London.

POLICEMAN 2
Where are you going?

ALAN
Home.

IAN
(leaning forward)
What’s the trouble?

POLICEMAN 1
It’s the Coronation Stone. You haven’t seen it, have you?

IAN
No, but I’ve heard about it. It’s a very good show. Should have been done years ago!

POLICEMAN 2
We live on one island, and some people think we should all be one people.

IAN
Aye, maybe. But the Scots people don’t think that, and we’re the people who have the edge on you today.

The officer glares at Ian vehemently. His companion hands back Ian’s license without a word and waves them on.

They drive away.


INT. IN THE FORD - DAY
ALAN
Can you believe it? I told you someone up there likes us!

IAN
This means that the detective who took the number outside Kay’s hotel didn’t hand it in as a suspect car to be checked out. We could be home and free!

They slow down as they suddenly come across another couple of police cars parked along the side of the road, but they are waved on.

IAN (CONTD)
But they’ll definitely be looking for the Anglia. Which means Kay’s in trouble.

ALAN
I thought you said she was lying low with a friend in Birmingham?

IAN
But what if she isn’t? What if she’s decided to get through on her own? Maybe we should draw the police off by giving ourselves up to help her slip through?

ALAN
She’d love you for that! Be logical, Ian. They wouldn’t have stopped us if they’d caught her already, and she was on the road way ahead of us. Let’s just go with the way it’s going.

IAN
(after a pause)
I’m glad I invited you along, Alan.

Alan smiles and keeps driving.


EXT. COMING INTO NEWCASTLE - NIGHT
The car is driving down a street of terraced houses. The Tyne bridge is visible on the horizon.


INT. IN THE FORD - NIGHT
Ian is driving. Alan is dozing in the back.

IAN
We’re coming into Newcastle. We’ll have a meal at the station buffet.

ALAN
(stirring)
God! I’m starving!


EXT. NEWCASTLE GENERAL STATION - NIGHT
Heading for the buffet, Alan and Ian pass the bookstall.

A billboard for the local paper proclaims - STONE; SCOTS AWAIT ARRIVAL!!

Alan buys a paper and they proceed towards the buffet.


INT. THE STATION BUFFET - NIGHT
Ian and Alan are halfway through their meal.

Alan is reading the newspaper.

ALAN
And apparently there’s a party of Scottish nationalists waiting on the border to convoy the Stone across!

They laugh.

IAN
That’s great!
(stops laughing)
But I’m still worried about Kay. If only we knew she was safe!

ALAN
The press would know if she’d been caught.


INT. A PHONE BOX IN NEWCASTLE /THE BULLETIN’S OFFICE IN GLASGOW - DAY
The REPORTER picks up the phone.

Ian puts coins in the slot.

REPORTER
The Bulletin?

IAN
Any news about the Stone?

REPORTER
Nothing new.

IAN
Any arrests?

REPORTER
No, none.

IAN
Thank God for that.

REPORTER
Who’s speaking?

IAN
It’s one of the crew who took it. I’m phoning from Newcastle station.

REPORTER
Where is it? Where’s the Stone?

IAN
You don’t expect me to answer that? Let’s just say it’s safe in Scotland, having left Newcastle six hours ago.

He puts the phone down.

REPORTER
(shouting)
Story!


EXT. THE SCOTTISH BORDER AFTER BERWICK - NIGHT
Alan is driving. Ian is in the back seat. Both are dead tired.

The Ford crosses the Border in to Scotland.

IAN
Scotland, Alan. We’re home.

ALAN
Almost. We’ve still got about a hundred miles to go before Glasgow, but already even the trees and hedges seem friendlier.
(pause)
And you’ll find a welcome at my home tonight. The family will be honored to put you up.

IAN
(his head nodding)
That’s a mighty welcome offer. My hearth will be cold, and the bed’s unmade...

Suddenly he looks up and his eyes widen in terror.

IAN (CONTD)
Look out! Swerve! Swerve!

Alan pulls to the side of the road.

ALAN
What is it, Ian?

IAN
That old woman behind the lamppost! She was about to throw herself under the car! Didn’t you see her?

ALAN
No. There was nobody to see. You’re tired, Ian. "You lack the season of all natures - sleep." We’ve been awake for three days. It’s not natural. Ghosts take advantage.

He starts the car again.

ALAN (CONTD)
Do you ken any more verses of that John MacCormick poem?

IAN
Though I know that time must sever
Every friendship, every tie.
Yet I’m sure the years will never
Change my welcoming in Skye.

Must a day come long hereafter
When I’ll travel sure in vain,
When I’ll hear no lilt of laughter
From the Inn at Edinbane?

ALAN
Aye. That’s braw. Will you start again from the beginning?

They drive away.


EXT. OUTSIDE ALAN'S HOME IN BARRHEAD - NIGHT
The Ford is parked outside the house.

Alan and Ian get out and walk up to the front door.

Alan rings the bell.

ALAN
I don’t mind telling you, Ian, I’m a little afraid of my father’s reaction. We’re criminals, after all. And I’ll have blighted my career prospects.

IAN
I’ll wait in the shadows and scarper if he’s mad.

He moves to the side.

The door opens and MR. STUART stands there for a moment, framed in the light of the hall, then he reaches out and grabs Alan’s hand and shakes it.

He sees Ian in the shadow and grabs his hand too.

He drags them both to the door and the light.

MR. STUART
(proudly)
You bonnie lads! You bonnie lads!

The front door closes.


INT. THE PARLOUR OF THE STUART HOME - NIGHT
A cheerful fire is burning in the hearth. MRS. STUART and Alan’s sister, FAY, stand smiling, waiting to greet them.

Mr. Stuart comes in with an arm around Alan and Ian’s shoulders.

MR. STUART
Hail the conquering heroes!

Mrs. Stuart embraces Alan and kisses him.

ALAN
(freeing himself)
Mum, this is Ian Hamilton.

Mrs. Stuart embraces and kisses Ian.

ALAN (CONTD)
And my sister, Fay.

Fay also embraces Ian and kisses him.

IAN
I notice you don’t stand on ceremony here!

MRS STUART
Och, away with ye! You’re marvels - the men of the hour! Have you no seen the papers?

She gathers a few from a pile on the table and holds them up one by one.

We see headlines - ‘STONE OUTRAGE!’ - ‘WHERE IS THE STONE?’ ‘STONE - YARD CONSULTS TELEPATHISTS’ ‘STONE THEFT! IS IT SACRILEGE?’ ‘SERPENTINE DREDGED FOR STONE’ ‘WHO ARE THE CULPRITS?’

FAY
(handing them both a tumber of whisky)
Sit down both of you, champions of Scotland, and tell us the tale from your own lips! We’re all ears! By the way, Kay’s safe. I got a call from her tonight. Her part of the Stone is safe in the back of the Anglia in Birmingham. She caught a train back from there. She’s gone on home to Inverasdale.

IAN
(raising his glass)
A toast to Kay. She was our powerhouse. We could have done nothing without her.

ALL
To Kay!

They drink.


INT. A BEDROOM IN THE STUART HOME - DAY
It is 8 am. Ian is fast asleep in bed.

There is A KNOCK at the door. Ian opens his eyes.

The door opens and Fay puts her head in.

FAY
Good morning, Ian. I’d have let you sleep on, but you were so firm at being called at eight. I’ve run a hot bath for you, and your breakfast’s waiting downstairs.

She goes out and closes the door.

Ian sighs. He puts his hands behind his head, stares at the ceiling and smiles to himself as he remembers.


INT. THE PARLOUR OF THE STUART HOME - DAY
Ian and Alan get up from the table having finished their breakfasts. Mr Stuart stands up with them.

ALAN
We’ll be off, then.

Fay comes in from the kitchen.

Mrs Stuart comes downstairs with Ian’s torn coat and an old one of Alan’s.

MRS STUART
I’m afraid this coat of yours has seen better days, Ian. If you like, you can have this old one of Alan’s. It’s good and warm.

IAN
(taking it)
Thanks very much Mrs Stuart.

FAY
We’ll keep your old one. It’ll become a family heirloom!

They laugh.

MR. STUART
(handing Ian a watch)
And here’s an old wrist watch. It doesn’t keep very good time, but you’ll look less suspicious. The watch you lost in the Abbey is a major clue. They’ll be looking for a man with a naked wrist!

They laugh again.

Ian and Alan head for the door.


EXT. THE STREET OUTSIDE THE STUART'S HOME - DAY
Alan and Ian are trying to start the Ford with the starting-handle, but it won’t fire.

IAN
And this is the car that started instantly for me outside the Abbey!

ALAN
We’re back in Glasgow now. It knows it’s near its stable.

They get behind and push it.

As it goes downhill, Ian jumps in and starts the engine successfully.

Alan runs alongside and jumps in.


INT. GLASGOW UNIVERSITY'S STUDENTS UNION - DAY
A group of students are standing in front of the fireplace talking.

Ian approaches.

One of Ian’s friends notices him.

STUDENT 1
Why Ian Hamilton! Well done on capturing the Stone, old man! I didn’t know you had it in you!

IAN
Och, it was nothing! There’s no need for congratulations. That’s far too complimentary!

STUDENT 1
Seriously, though. Do you think it could have been someone from the university? Bill Craig would have been my first suspect, but he was here on Christmas day.

STUDENT 2
Fergal McTavish was my bet, but he drinks too much to keep a secret. He’d have spilled the beans by now.

IAN
What about Adrian Drummond? He’s been talking about lifting the Stone for years.

STUDENT 1
Och, no! He’s just a vainglorious lout! He could never have pulled off such a feat.

STUDENT 2
Brian Stevenson claims he was there, but he’s making no statements at the present.

IAN
It beats me. I reckon I know every nationalist in Scotland, but I can’t put my finger on who did it. But by God, I’d have given my right arm to have been there!

Ian becomes aware of A FAMILIAR VOICE TALKING in the middle of another group of students on the other side of the room.

He looks across and sees that it is Gavin!

Ian walks slowly across to the group.

GAVIN
Yes, you can mark my words - Ian Hamilton’s the one who took it! Of that I’m certain! I’ll bet you anything he’s the instigator! There’s no doubt about it!

IAN
You’re very free with your words, Gavin Vernon. Would you mind telling us exactly where you were yourself over Christmas?

GAVIN
Ah, the man himself! Well, for your information, Mr. Ian Hamilton, I was following you all the way to Westminster! So I know for a fact!

STUDENT 1
Och, enough of these Rag Week jokes and posturings! Who the hell organized it and what’s their next move?

The students erupt into fierce debate.

Ian signals to Gavin and he removes himself from the group and joins him for a conversation apart.

IAN
So what happened to you? Why weren’t you at Reading?

GAVIN
I thought I was being tailed, but - it’s embarrassing... I’ll tell you later... But you? Mission accomplished?

IAN
(smiling)
All going according to schedule.

Gavin laughs loudly and triumphantly.

The other students break off their debate for a moment to look over at the interruption, then continue their discussion.

IAN
I’m meeting the big guys at Craig’s Coffee-room this afternoon.

GAVIN
You’ll be their Bonnie Prince Charles!


EXT. GIBSON STREET - DAY
Ian is walking down the street, killing time before his rendezvous with Bill Craig and the others.

TOM DAWSON approaches from the other direction.

They recognize each other and stop.

TOM
Hullo, stranger.

IAN
Tom! How are you? Still working for the Daily Mail?

TOM
Why shouldn’t I? I’m making a name for myself. Are you in a hurry?

IAN
Not specially.

TOM
Come and have a drink then.


INT. IN A PUB - DAY
Ian is sitting at a table.

Tom brings two half pints of beer from the bar.

Ian looks at them sourly.

IAN
I expect you’ll claim for double whiskies on your expense account.

TOM
(laughing shrewdly)
I don’t want to buy you whisky in case you think I’m trying to get you to talk.

IAN
(simulating delight)
You’re another! All morning people have been accusing me of stealing the Stone of Destiny. It’s the highest compliment I’ve ever been paid.

TOM
(pained)
Where were you over the weekend, Ian?

IAN
I was at home.

TOM
(shaking his head)
Ian, Ian. I phoned your home as soon as the news broke. Your mother hasn’t seen you for weeks.

IAN
Well...

TOM
What am I to do?

IAN
That’s up to you.

TOM
You’d better get a decent alibi before the police come.

IAN
What do you mean?

TOM
Ian, I may be a newspaperman, and I may have the greatest story ever. I’m hoping to go to Fleet Street soon, and I’m not much interested in Home Rule. But by God, I’m a Scotsman first. Don’t worry. I’ll never sell you.

Tom offers his hand and they shake firmly and sincerely.


INT. CRAIG'S COFFEE-ROOM - DAY
The café is crowded with businessmen drinking coffee and chatting.

Bill is at a table by himself.

Ian comes in and approaches him.

Bill stands up and shakes his hand. He pats him warmly on the shoulder.

BILL
Well done, Ian! Congratulations!

They sit down and Bill signals the waiter, who brings a coffee for Ian.

All around the businessmen are talking and the word STONE is heard frequently.

Some of the businessmen seem to be glancing suspiciously and even pointing at Bill and Ian.

Is it just paranoia?

They drink their coffee nervously.

IAN
(quietly)
We can’t talk here. I feel they all know it was me.

BILL
Aye. We could have chosen a more discreet place.

IAN
I can’t stand it! Excuse me!
Ian gets up and flees downstairs.

Bill gets up and follows him.


INT. IN THE TOILET - DAY
Ian and Bill are washing their hands.

BILL
It’s probably just paranoia.

IAN
I feel as though I bear the mark of Cain! And do you not think I’m a bit too risky to be seen with at the moment? The police could be trailing me even now.

The door opens and a MAN IN A COAT comes in. He nods at them and goes to a stall.

Bill silently indicates the door to Ian and he creeps out.

Bill resumes washing his hands, watching the man out of the corner of his eyes.


INT. CRAIG'S COFFEE-ROOM - DAY
Ian is heading for the door. It opens and Bertie Gray walks in.

Ian walks straight past him and out of the door.


EXT. IN THE STREET - DAY
Bertie’s car is parked outside with John MacCormick in the back.

Ian opens the door and climbs into the back seat.


INT. IN BERTIE'S CAR - DAY
JOHN MACKORMICK
(smiling)
Congratulations. You pulled it off.

The back door opens and Bill gets in beside Ian.

BILL
Paranoia. He just washed his hands and went back to his coffee.

Bertie gets into the driver’s seat.

BERTIE GRAY
I thought I might have deserved at least a ‘hello’ after all this time, Mr Hamilton!

IAN
Sorry, Bertie. I thought I was being tailed.

BERTIE GRAY
I thought it was something like that. Great fun! Was that the ‘Harry Lime Theme’ I heard playing in the background?

He starts the engine. They drive off.


INT. IN BERTIE'S CAR - LATER - DAY
BERTIE GRAY
And it’s safely hidden? You’re sure you’ll be able to find it again?

IAN
I made a map. Bill has a copy.

BILL
Is there any chance of anyone stumbling on it?


IAN
It’s highly unlikely. It’s an out of the way spot.
(pause)
It’s great to be able to talk without any fear of eavesdroppers! So tell me what you’ve heard! What’s the general reaction?

JOHN MACKORMICK
Great! Last night the Dean of Westminster was on the radio lamenting "this cunningly planned and carefully executed crime".

IAN
If they only knew!

BERTIE GRAY
The authorities are treating the affair as one of the first magnitude.

BILL
Which is just what we want.

JOHN MACKORMICK
But the Dean also said that the King is sorely troubled about the loss of the Stone.

BERTIE GRAY
Which is something we don’t really want.

IAN
Nobody knows yet who is really responsible for taking the Stone. It could be Anarchists, Communists, or honest souvenir hunters!

BILL
Which is why some sort of Press statement should be issued, explaining our position.


JOHN MACKORMICK
And that’s our next move. I’m calling a meeting in my flat tonight in order to draw up a petition to the King, making it clear that we meant no disrespect, and setting out our reasons for taking the Stone.


INT. JOHN MACCORMICK'S FLAT - NIGHT
Bill, Bertie, John and Ian are in John’s flat discussing the petition, but we don’t hear their voices.

Ian is at the table writing down the suggestions.

They are all drinking, smoking and gesticulating. Arguing.

Someone suggests something. The others are quiet and listen. Then there is shaking or nodding of heads and Ian writes down something or crosses out what has been written. They are tired.

Eventually Ian is holding up the finished petition and reading it to the others.

They nod their heads, applaud, and slump down into chairs exhausted.


INT. JOHN MACCORMICK'S FLAT - LATER - NIGHT
Ian is copying out the petition on a large piece of paper. He is wearing gloves.

Bill, Bertie and John stand looking over his shoulder.

IAN
Does it look like my usual handwriting?

BILL
Not a bit. But make sure it’s all legible.

BERTIE GRAY
The next thing is to get it noticed. It should be nailed to the door of some public building.

JOHN MACKORMICK
The obvious place would be the door to Scone Abbey, but it was pulled down a few hundred years ago.

BILL
Scone is the ideal place for it.

BERTIE GRAY
What about the door to Scone Post Office?

JOHN MACKORMICK
I like it. You couldn’t get more public than that. What do you say, Ian?

IAN
Hmm...

BILL
It’ll have to be done in the dark.


INT. IN THE FORD LATER - NIGHT
Ian is driving. Bill sits beside him.

IAN
What time is it?

BILL
Four thirty. I’m sorry for keeping from your sleep, Ian. You’ve seen little of it over the last few days.

IAN
It’s not that that’s bothering me. It’s the idea of pinning the petition to the door of a mundane country post office. It deserves a better fate than that.

BILL
We agreed Scone should be the place for it. That’s where the Stone was originally stolen from.

IAN
Aye, from the Abbey, which no longer exists because it was knocked down to provide the building material for Scone Palace... Ahh!

Ian suddenly pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car.

BILL
What’s the matter?

IAN
Scone Palace is the home of the Earl of Mansfield. Did you not read that comment in the Herald where he came out strongly in favour of our action? He’s on our side. A titled supporter is too good to waste. Let’s use him!


INT. IN THE FORD OUTSIDE PERTH POST OFFICE - DAY
It’s 7.30 am.

Bill sits in the car, watching Ian talking in a telephone box outside.

Ian finishes his call, comes back to the car and gets in.

IAN
He was just leaving for the moors with some guests, but he wants to see me at six o’clock.

BILL
Go canny, Ian. It could be a trap.

IAN
It’s a risk. Do you want to come?

BILL
As President of the Union I have more important tasks. I have to interview a new pastry cook this afternoon!

IAN
(laughing)
I'll drive you to the station.

BILL
You’ve got ten hours before your rendezvous. How’re you going to kill the time?

IAN
My parents have retired to Ballinluig, just thirty miles from here. I thought I might pay them a visit.



INT. THE HALL OF THE HAMILTON HOUSEHOLD - DAY
The doorbell is ringing.

Mrs Hamilton comes from the kitchen in her apron to answer it. She opens the door.

Ian stands there.

IAN
Hi, Mum.

MRS HAMILTON
Ian! Oh my Lord! How lovely to see you! Not since summer!

She kisses him.

MRS HAMILTON (CONTD)
(calling upstairs and taking off her apron)
Dad! Dad! It’s Ian!


INT. THE HAMILTON'S PARLOR - DAY
Ian is sitting uncomfortably in an armchair. His mother stands by his side, puzzled at his demeanor.

Mr Hamilton comes in.

Ian gets up and they shake hands.

MR HAMILTON
Well are you, Ian?

IAN
Yes, I’m well.

MR HAMILTON
Will you be staying long?

IAN
No, not long.

MR HAMILTON
The weather’s been bad, but the bees are surviving. The ground’s too hard for digging though. How did you come up?

IAN
By car.

MRS HAMILTON
By car!? Not your own?

IAN
It’s a friend’s. What time is it?

MRS HAMILTON
Why, there’s a clock on the mantelpiece! And where’s your watch?

IAN
I lost it. In Westminster Abbey.

MRS HAMILTON
Was it you who took the Stone? We thought you would have a hand in it.

MR HAMILTON
(grinning broadly and shaking Ian’s hand)
Well done. Well done. I haven’t been so proud of anything for a long time.

MRS HAMILTON
Is it in the Serpentine? They say the police are dredging it.

IAN
No. They’re daft.

They laugh.

MR HAMILTON
Is there any way we can help you, Ian? Anyway at all?

IAN
I know you hate lies. But if the police were to come - would you say that I was here for Christmas? That I hitch hiked up to be with you?

MR HAMILTON
There are some lies that do good.

MRS HAMILTON
You were here in spirit anyway!

MR HAMILTON
And what will you do when the police come?

IAN
I don’t know.

MR HAMILTON
Well, don’t worry. We’ll stand by you whatever happens.

They smile and put their hands on each other’s shoulders.


EXT. THE DRIVEWAY OF LOGIE HOUSE - NIGHT
The Ford turns off the road into the driveway and heads towards Logie House. The windows are brightly lit.


EXT. THE COURTYARD OF LOGIE HOUSE - NIGHT
Ian puts out a cigarette, walks up the steps to the front door and raps loudly.

The door is opened by the COUNTESS.

IAN
I have an appointment with the earl.

COUNTESS
You're late.

IAN
I was due an hour ago. The roads were bad.

COUNTESS
Come in.

Ian follows the countess into the house.


INT. INSIDE LOGIE HOUSE - NIGHT
Ian follows the countess upstairs and along a corridor.

COUNTESS
The earl has a heavy cold. He's doctoring it in bed.

The countess opens a door, shows Ian in, and withdraws.


INT. THE EARL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
The earl is sitting up in bed.


EARL
Don't tell me your name. It's better that I shouldn't know it.

IAN
(sitting down)
That's just as it should be.

EARL
And let me congratulate you on one of the most brilliant exploits in Scottish history.
Now tell me, are you a communist or a republican?

IAN
Neither. I think if you listen to this petition you'll get a picture of our politics.

Ian unfurls the scroll and begins to read.


INT. THE EARL'S BEDROOM - LATER - NIGHT
Ian is coming to the conclusion of his reading of the petition. The earl is listening carefully.

IAN
(reading)
"This information is given in lieu of signature by His Majesty's petitioners being in fear of apprehension."

EARL
(after a pause)
It's good. I don't think you should change a word of it. But I think I'll have to pass on the idea of acting as your intermediary. You're young unknowns. I don't think a man of my title, position and rank should become involved in your plot.

IAN
Actually, I think I agree with you. It just seemed like a better idea than nailing it to the post office door.

EARL
Still, I might be able to help you. I may be able to let it be known that you're not wild men, but moderate young people driven to anger at the way Westminster treats Scotland.

IAN
That would mean a lot.

We see a copy of 'the Bulletin' lying on the earl's bedspread.

The headline reads "STONE IN SCOTLAND".

Both Ian and the earl suddenly realize that their eyes are on it.

EARL
I - er - don't want to know anything about it! But is it in Scotland yet? I've worked it out with maps and times, and I don't see how it could possibly have been got over the Border by the time it says here.

IAN
No. That story was a decoy to let some of us get home.

EARL
It's not in the Serpentine?

IAN
No, it's not in the Serpentine.


EARL
(chuckles)
You know you'll have to be careful. They'll send you to prison when they catch you. The English don't like a joke against themselves, and you've twisted the lion's tail until it's come away in your hand.


IAN
I know.

He gets up to go.

EARL
(looking at the ceiling)
Of course, if the police ask if I have heard from you people, I shall have to say that you have been to see me.

IAN
(dismayed)
Well, if they ask for a description, I hope you'll just repeat the one that was given by the policeman outside the Abbey.

EARL
(sitting up sharply)
Description! Description! I shall give them no description! I shall tell them I'm not an Argyll to betray a fellow countryman!

They shake hands.

Ian goes out.


INT. IAN'S LODGINGS - DAY
There is a persistent knocking at the door.

Ian, in pyjamas, sleepily stumbles to the door and opens it.

Alan and and Gavin enter.

GAVIN
Come on! Come on! Can't lie in bed all day resting on your laurels! We've got a problem.

ALAN
My father's terribly worried about the Stone. He thinks it might disintegrate.


IAN
What are you talking about?

GAVIN
Mr Stuart works for a major civil engineering firm. He knows a lot about stone.


INT. A CORRIDOR OF GLASGOW UNIVERSITY - DAY
Ian is talking to Bill Craig.

Students pass on their way to and from classes.

IAN
He thinks that any piece of sandstone which has lain for six centuries in a dry and constant atmosphere might have lost a lot of its strength. If it's now exposed to the elements for any length of time it might suck up water like blotting paper and split into fragments when the water freezes.

BILL
(slapping the wall)
This is sandstone. In the summer it's dry. In the winter it's wet. The rain falls on it. The frost freezes it. Yet the Union isn't falling down.

IAN
Mr Stuart is anxious. He thinks we should recover the Stone as soon as possible.


INT. BILL CRAIG'S FLAT - DAY
Bertie and John are with Bill and Ian. They have been discussing the new events.

BERTIE GRAY
Don't go back down there again and take more risks. At least wait until the weather is better. More snow is forecast.

IAN
I say there's no time like the present. And if what Mr Stuart says is true, the sooner the better.

BERTIE GRAY
Aye well, you could be right. But we should have a new team to go down and get it.

IAN
Who will you get? Eh? Are you going to go out into Sauchiehall Street and shout "Hey Jimmy! C'mere a minute. Gonna go down and bring us the Stone?" What's wrong with me anyway? Who else could do it better than me? Eh?

BILL
And me. I'm determined to go this time.

BERTIE GRAY
All right. I don't want to be a damper to such enthusiasm. You'll need another. Who's it to be?

BILL
I think John Josselyn would be a good man. What do you think Ian?

IAN
Joss! That's a fine idea!

BERTIE GRAY
But isn't he an Englishman?

BILL
Only by birth. He was educated in Scotland and you can't get more Scottish than old Joss!


INT. THE STUDENTS UNION BAR - DAY
JOSS is sitting in a corner drinking coffee.

Bill approaches him and stands at his table.

BILL
Are you doing anything over the New Year, Joss?

JOSS
Aye! A'm going up to Mull.

BILL
Would you not rather come South to bring back the Stone of Destiny?

JOSS
Aye! A would that!


EXT. OUTSIDE IAN'S LODGINGS - NIGHT
Ian, Joss and Bill are waiting with grips and haversacks filled with clothes.

Gavin stands with them.

Alan arrives in an Armstrong-Siddeley. He stops in front of the lodgings.

The others are amazed.

ALAN
I can't believe my Dad agreed to let me take the Armstrong-Siddeley. Especially having 'mislaid' his Anglia in Birmingham, and what with the icy roads and Scotland Yard on the lookout.

IAN
He's a hero! What's the horsepower?

ALAN
Fourteen. And it's got a heater.

They pile into the car.

Bill stops and shakes hands with Gavin.

BILL
Goodbye, Gavin. Thanks for letting me take your place. It means a lot to me.

GAVIN
Good luck, and ca' canny.

Bill gets in the car and they drive away.

Gavin stands waving after them.


INT. IN THE ARMSTRONG-SIDDELEY - NIGHT
Ian is driving.

The group are in high spirits.

Joss is SINGING A CELTIC SONG.

BILL
Can you believe what fools the English police are making of themselves dragging the Serpentine?

The others laugh.


INT. IN THE ARMSTRONG-SIDDELEY - LATER - NIGHT
Alan is driving.

Joss is reading a book aloud to him as he drives.

Ian and Bill are asleep in the back seat.


INT. IN A TRANSPORT CAFE - DAY
It's early dawn.

The boys are in a comatose state - drinking tea and eating buns.

A group of football fans off a coach burst into the cafe, some with the early morning papers.

FOOTBALL FAN 1
If our bloody team had only half the bloody guts of these Scotch Stone stealers we'd be top of the bloody league!

FOOTBALL FAN 2
What a bloody cheek, eh? Right under the bloody nose of Parliament!

One of the fans tosses a newspaper on the next table.

We read the headlines -

"STONE - ARRESTS EXPECTED SOON!"

The boys laugh uneasily and get up to go.


EXT. ON THE ROAD - DAY
Snow is falling heavily.

The car, fitted with chains, is ploughing through the drifts.


EXT. ON THE ROAD - NIGHT
The car passes the familiar Elizabethan roadhouse outside Rochester.

Further along, parked by the side of the road is a gypsy caravan with a dancing fire in front of it.


INT. IN THE ARMSTRONG-SIDDELEY - NIGHT
IAN
(as they pass)
We're nearly there.

JOSS
Wouldn't it be funny if the gypsies were camping on top of the Stone?


EXT. THE ROAD BESIDE THE WOOD - NIGHT
The car is parked near the fenced wood.

Next to the wood are two gypsy caravans and two fires.

One caravan is parked very near to where the Stone is buried.


INT. IN THE ARMSTRONG SIDDELEY - NIGHT
IAN
Wait for twenty four hours. They can't stay here forever. We'd be fools to lose it now because we were too impatient to wait.

JOSS
Ach! Let's play the squire, walk through them and take it.

IAN
I suppose we could wait until they're asleep. But then the dogs would probably bark.

JOSS
What about buying some whisky and getting them drunk?

IAN
It might make them fight.

ALAN
What if they're detectives in disguise, just sitting there waiting for us?

They dissolve into laughter.

BILL
I'll talk to them and see what can be done.

He gets out of the car, followed by Ian.


EXT. THE GYPSY CAMP OUTSIDE THE WOOD - NIGHT
An old gypsy couple are warming themselves in front of their fire, sprawled against the fence outside their caravan.

Another caravan with a separate blazing fire is parked nearby.

Bill and Ian approach the fire.

A friendly puppy comes jumping towards them.

The old woman calls it off.

BILL
Can we have a heat at your fire?

GYPSY WOMAN
(smiling)
Sir.

Bill and Ian crouch by the fire.

BILL
It’s bitter cold. This is a welcome chance to thaw out. How long are you staying here?

GYPSY WOMAN
For a day or two.

GYPSY MAN
It’s late.

BILL
You’ve a free life, but I suppose you’re often moved on by the authorities.

People talk about liberty, but they deny it to those they don’t understand.

We’re a bit like you gypsies in a way. We come from a little country in the north which is trying to preserve its liberty and be itself. Our ways and customs differ, but it’s the same problem everywhere. There’s a darkness coming down over the world, and only a few people like the gypsies and the Scots foresee it and try to live our lives in the light.

The gypsies sit silently listening.

BILL (CONTD)
At the end of the day, liberty’s the only precious thing. The slaves who submit to their masters in exchange for food and drink and clothing are with us still today. But the only thing is the choice between freedom and slavery. And freedom is preserved, not in houses or caravans, but in people’s hearts. As soon as it stops being valued it disappears.

But we’re not like that. And to keep our freedom we need something out of that wood. It’s not wrong, but it’s illegal. We’re doing right, but we’ll go to jail if we’re caught.

Bill looks at the gypsy man.

GYPSY MAN
You can’t get it just now. There’s a local man who isn’t a gypsy at the next fire and you can’t trust him.

Alan and Joss arrive at the fireside.

BILL
They’re our friends.

The gypsies smile.

JOSS
(whispering fiercely)
Where’s the Lia Fail?

There is no answer. Alan and Joss crouch at the fire.

A gypsy comes from the other caravan, talks to the other, then goes back to the other fire.

GYPSY MAN
It will be all right. The stranger will be gone soon.

A man comes from the other fire, gets on a bike and rides away.

The other gypsy comes and gives a thumbs-up signal.

Ian vaults the fence into the wood, followed by Alan with a torch.

EXT. IN THE WOOD - DAY
Ian, Alan, Joss and Bill uncover the Stone. It is intact.

They handle it up the slope and under the bottom bar of the railing.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE FENCE - NIGHT
Two gypsies rush to help.

They all carry it to the car and sit it in the space prepared at the near side front seat.

Alan and Joss tumble into the car.

BILL
(to Joss and Alan)
Go on and wait for us up the road.

The car moves off down the track.

Ian feels in his pocket and offers three pounds to one of the gypsies.

GYPSY MAN
No! No!

IAN
(thrusting it into his hand)
Yes! Your kindness could never be paid for by money and I’m ashamed to even try, but believe me, your help and hospitality will never be forgotten!

Ian and Bill shake the gypsies’ hands and walk towards the road.

BILL
By God! The gypsies will have a fine place in the new Scotland we’re going to build.

IAN
By God. They will.


INT. IN THE HAWKER SIDDELEY - NIGHT
The passenger front seat has been removed and put on the back seat, draped with coats to make it look like an arm rest.

Joss is sitting on the Stone which has been placed instead of the front seat. It is still earthy and uncovered.

JOSS
It’s not groaning. I can’t be a King.

ALAN
Why don’t we put it in the boot? There’s room enough for it.

IAN
No. That’s where all the police will be looking. This is the place. Guest of honour! Cover it with a blanket.


EXT. CENTRAL LONDON - NIGHT
People are still buying newspapers from newspaperboys and headlines are rampant on their hoardings.

The boys shout and we see - "STONE - ARREST EXPECTED SOON!!!"


INT. IN THE HAWKER SIDDELEY - NIGHT
The conspirators look at each other and smile.

ALAN
If they only knew.

We see the front seat in the back. It looks big and obvious.

IAN
That seat has to go. One of us'll have to take it up by train.

JOSS
Why’re you all lookin’ at me? You are! You’re all lookin’ at me!

BILL
Which is our best route home? The Great North Road or the A6?

IAN
The Great North is the easiest, but it’ll be well watched. I reckon we should start with the A6 as far as Luton.


INT. IN THE HAWKER SIDDELEY - NIGHT
Joss and Alan are asleep in the back.

Ian is driving and Bill is reading a road map to him.



EXT. ON THE A6 NEAR BEDFORD - NIGHT
It is snowing heavily and the road is covered.

Alan, Ian, Joss and Bill are trying to put chains on the wheels of the car, wrestling, pulling and swearing.

IAN
It’s no good. We’ve wasted half an hour. We’ll have to do our best without them.

They chuck the chains back in the boot, get back in the car and slip and slide their way along the road.


EXT. THE OUTSKIRTS OF YORK - DAY
It’s early morning and the snow is not so deep here.

The car door opens and Joss gets out. The others hand him the car seat.

JOSS
I told you it was going to be me.

IAN
The closer we get to the Border the riskier it is. You realize the necessity of getting rid of it?

JOSS
Och aye! We’re all indispensable cogs in the wheel. It’s been great fun, and I wish you luck!

They wave to him and the car moves off.

Joss stands and waves as they disappear.

A policeman comes out of the brick building Joss is standing in front of, which is in fact a police box.

Joss turns around and comes face to face with the policeman.

JOSS
Good morning.

POLICEMAN
Where are YOU going?

JOSS
Mull.

POLICEMAN
(scratching his head)
And what are you doing with that car seat?

JOSS
I’m taking it to Mull to people who need a new seat for their car. A pig crapped on the other one.

He walks away, watched by the bemused policeman.


INT. ON THE ROAD - DAY
A young man is hitchhiking.

The car stops and he gets in.


INT. IN THE HAWKER SIDDELEY - DAY
HITCH HIKER
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. It must be great to have your own car. I'm going to get one some day. It’s just a question of money! Now, if I only
knew anything about this, all my troubles would be over!

He pulls out a newspaper from his haversack and slaps it.

The headline reads "STONE: 1000 POUNDS REWARD"

HITCH HIKER (CONTD)
But I’m just not the lucky sort. Oh, here we are! This is perfect for me! Thanks a lot! You can keep this if you like.

He leaves the newspaper and gets out of the car.

Bill takes it and stares at the article as they drive away.

BILL
Blood money. The bounty hunters will be out.


EXT. A GARAGE OUTSIDE DARLINGTON - DAY
ATTENDANT
(filling the tank)
Scots? You haven’t got the Stone of Destiny with you?

IAN
(with a laugh)
It’s in the boot.

ATTENDANT
The police have been round asking what Scotsmen I’ve given petrol to. When they come back I’ll tell them it went through this morning.

He chuckles to himself as he takes the money and they drive off.


INT. IN THE HAWKER SIDDELEY - DAY
BILL
Some people go looking for adventure.

OTHERS
Aye. Some do.


EXT. ON THE ROAD - DAY
There is more snow as they drive through Durham and Northumberland, but the roads are manageable.


INT. IN THE HAWKER SIDDLEY - DAY
Alan is driving.

IAN
Alan, you’re doing a great job, but we’ve only thirty miles to go, and I selfishly claim the honour of driving the Stone over the Border.

Alan stops and gets out without question. He and Ian change places.

BILL
Of course. Who else should the privilege go to but the Evil Genius?

Ian drives off.


INT. IN THE HAWKER SIDDLEY - DAY
Ian is speeding.

BILL
For God’s sake, Ian, slow down! We don’t want to be fined for speeding on top of everything else!

Ian slows down.

ALAN
We’re nearly in Longtown. What do we do if there’s a roadblock on the bridge?

BILL
What can we do?

IAN
Toe down!


EXT. LONGTOWN MAIN STREET - DAY
As the car drives down the semi-deserted main street we see a policeman disappear into the door of the police station.


INT. IN THE HAWKER SIDDLEY - DAY
BILL
(whispering)
I hope that’s symbolic!

They turn a corner and the bridge across the Esk, without roadblock, is in sight. They drive across it.

BILL (CONTD)
(with a sigh)
That’s that!


EXT. A COUPLE OF MILES FURTHER - DAY
The car passes a sign that says SCOTLAND.


INT. IN THE HAWKER SIDDLEY - DAY
There is a little ragged cheer as the sign is passed and the passengers shake hands.


EXT. BY THE ROADSIDE - DAY
The car stops and Ian, Bill and Alan get out.

They uncover the Stone.

BILL
The symbol of her liberty has come back to Scotland. Let it breathe her air for the first time in six hundred years.

ALAN
Let’s take it out and lay it on the soil for a wee while.

They lift it out of the car and put it on the ground.

Ian produces a gill of whisky from the provision basket in the boot.

IAN
(handing the bottle to Bill)
And let it have a taste of good Scottish whisky on its own soil.

BILL
(as he pours a libation over the Stone)
"For as long as one hundred of us remain alive we will yield in no least way to the domination of the English. We fight not for glory nor for wealth nor for honours, but only and alone for freedom, which no good man surrenders but with his life."

OTHERS
Amen.


EXT. THE RUINED ABBEY OF ARBROATH - DAY
On the screen we read the words:

11th APRIL 1951 – ARBROATH ABBEY - THREE MONTHS LATER.

The Stone lies covered by a blue and white Saltire on the High Altar at the end of the grass-floored nave of the ruined Abbey.

We hear the sound of a police car siren approaching.

Three police cars and a van arrive and a posse of policemen get out. Some are talking on walkie-talkies.

Other cars arrive with the Press. Photographers and reporters disgorge.

They all move down the slope to the High Altar.

A policeman gingerly pulls back the flag from the Stone.


POLICEMAN
This is it! Isn’t it?

POLICEMAN 1
It certainly looks like it. It’s back to England with you, my beauty. There’ll be another Coronation soon, and it wouldn’t be the same without you!

The policemen load the Stone onto a stretcher and carry it back up the hill under the flash of the photographers’ cameras.
On the screen we read information about the protagonists in the drama:

BILL CRAIG WENT INTO INDUSTRY. HE LIVES SOMEWHERE IN SCOTLAND.
JOHN JOSSELYN MARRIED, EMIGRATED TO AMERICA AND FATHERED THREE CHILDREN. HE DIED OF DIABETES.
GAVIN VERNON IS DOING WELL IN AMERICA.
ALAN STUART FORMED HIS OWN SUCCESSFUL CIVIL ENGINEERING FIRM AND LIVES IN HIS OWN CASTLE IN THE WEST OF SCOTLAND.
KAY MATHESON BECAME A TEACHER IN HER BELOVED INVERASDALE. SHE NEVER MARRIED.
IAN HAMILTON PRACTICED LAW IN ZAMBIA, SCOTLAND AND CANADA. HE MARRIED THREE TIMES AND HAS FOUR CHILDREN. HE IS AN AMATEUR PILOT, SAILED SOLO ACROSS SCOTLAND BY SLALOM CANOE, AND STOOD AS A CANDIDATE FOR THE SCOTTISH NATIONALIST PARTY.

IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS THE BRITISH HOME SECRETARY REFERRED TO THEM AS “..THIEVES AND VULGAR BANDITS.”





FADE OUT.




THE END







Michael Dickinson
- e-mail: michaelyabanji@gmail.com

Comments

Display the following 2 comments

  1. The Disunited Kingdom? — michael
  2. But the Scots people don’t think that...blah blah — Reality Check