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It still sounds more like a joke , but since 1974, Gelles found that male spouses became victims of violence nearly as often as women . In 1994 the U.S. 167,000 men complained that they had received physical violence from their partners and many more admitted that they have experienced similar incidents , but not mentioned anywhere , not ridiculed .

The same random confirmed in other studies (Tjaden & Thoennes, 2000) since their intention was to capture women’s abuse, says Efstratios Papanis , Assistant Professor of Sociology , University of the Aegean .

Thus , the official data parsimoniously conclude that at least 12.4% of men have received physical violence by the official or former spouse , while the 4.6 % that has fallen victim to extreme behaviors of the woman , including kicks , punches , bites, use knife or gun (Straus, 1980).

In the women questioned , most admitted that they often exceed too far mainly by flying objects against their partner in order to hurt him .

Family violence can not be interpreted simplistically with sexist terms like tried to do women’s organizations , but it is a complex phenomenon . In 1991 Follingstad et all showed that the phenomena of male abuse is not due to self-defense for women , but had all the characteristics of a normal attack , which could be attributed to anger , revenge , the inability to express emotions verbally , in the exercise of power , jealousy , lack of understanding , anxiety and reclaim control .

The concern is that the use of violence by women nearly doubled from decade to decade . Surveys showed that newlywed couples before marriage 44% of women initiated violence , 18 months after the marriage rate is 36 % and 30 months after marriage 32 % said they still resort to similar behaviors .

At the same time , found that while men tend to soften with time and cohabitation , women were becoming increasingly aggressive . The O ‘Leary (1989) found that in 41-57 % of these cases, the spouse who attacked resorted to violent self-defense , but the remaining 30 to 40 % passively accept violence .

As we analyze the intra – family violence now debunked the myth of male perpetrator and female victim and we tend to talk about violent couples . In 58.5 % of cases reporting violence was mutual , while 41.5 % of the exercise was due equally to the woman and the man .

In a survey of Simonelli & Ingram (1998) found that students in 40% of men had experienced violence from his girlfriend and 29% had to resort to hospital . Despite the fact that the man can exert more muscle power or limit effectively attacking partner , women resort to more sophisticated and better designed forms of violence , which equate rates .

This is confirmed absolutely in cases of domestic violence resulting in death or serious injury .

Greek Identity Research

‘ Conscious that the present investigation is the first to deal with the issue of male abuse in Greece and is a taboo subject for men and women , and the results can take many interpretations , we present the main findings, record pilot the general trend ‘ says Mr

Papanis . The survey was conducted during the period 2006-2008.

Sample: The study included 250 men who were tested individually , 280 women examined separately and 142 married couples surveyed in a joint interview. Of the men, 115 were married and 135 in some form of relationship ( engaged to (14 ) , in symbiosis (19 ) , divorced ( 42 ) , separated ( 35 ) and a simple relation ( 25) ) .

Of the women, 167 were married and 113 in some form of relationship ( engaged (18 ) , in symbiosis (11 ) , divorced (22 ) , separated ( 25) and a simple relationship . (37) The sample came from urban ( 37 % ) , suburban ( 46 % ) and rural areas (17 % ) of Greece , and the age range was from 18-65 years .

Respondents completed a questionnaire , while couples who were treated jointly passed by semistructured interview.

The proportion of men tested separately and reported that they had been victims of physical violence without themselves having the first attack ( slap, kick, scratching , throwing things , injury , etc. ) of the women were: 34.7 % Married , living in 25 2 % , 37.6 % divorced , separated 48.1 % , 8% and engaged to a simple relationship of 23.5 % .

The percentages of women who were tested separately and reported that they have physical violence , while not in defense were: Married 32 % in symbiosis 29.8 % , 26.8 % divorced , separated 36 % , 3% and engaged in simple relationship 26.4 % .
Married couples men reported that they were attacked at a rate of 31.5 % , while women said they attacked a rate of 38.4 % .

Note that, as shown by Goldberg and Tomianovich (1984) and Smith (et al., 1992) men – despite the common stereotype – exist equally serious injuries in female physical violence , and women .

In Greek survey 12.7 % of men tested separately said that it had to resort to hospital for wound care due to attacking women , while 23 % of women said that the purpose of the attack was made ​​the serious injury or damage husband .

The corresponding rates of psychological violence , as reported by men examined separately , were: Married 89.3 % , 65.7 % in symbiosis , 93 % divorced , 98 % separated , engaged to 27.7 % and 54 % simple relationship .

Women appear to recognize the best natural rather psychological violence when exercising. So from those examined separately , married reported psychological violence towards their partner in 31.5 % , 3% are engaged , as many were living in 26% , 35 % are separated , the estranged 38.5 % and those were simple relationship 41 % .

Finally married couples were considered together , the rate of psychological violence was reported by 78 % of men and 52.6 % by women .

A very important finding is that psychological abuse of the man many times not reserved by his wife and other members of the family of origin. So for married men considered separately 76.8 % indicates that psychological violence suffered by the mother , father or other family member of his wife , while agreeing with this 57 % of women
A research question concerned the initiation and continuation of physical or psychological violence during the last three months .

Of the men who reported that they had psychological or physical violence , 38 % believed that initially was at fault for this , 35 % blamed their partner and 27 % blamed both. Women who have experienced domestic violence , blamed for starting the altercation by 52 % in the same 30 % to their partners and 18 % to both .

Men who are abused by their partner experiencing anger ( 75 % ) , emotional devastation ( 40 % ) , depression and humiliation ( 35 % ), a trend for revenge (25 % ), feeling that are vulnerable (23 % ) , and fear or shame (15 % ) .

The effects are even more pronounced among young men : the experience of an early violent relationship stigmatizes subsequent interactions with the ‘ weak ‘ sex and makes them more susceptible to future episodes of depression and the emergence of psychotic symptoms.

Indeed, the risk increases with the intensity of lived violence . The combination of the two ( physical and psychological ) can impede the smooth social and emotional development of man .

psychological violence

In psychological violence faced by divorced or separated men including the parental alienation syndrome in which the woman turns against his father the child or children . The survey ( Papanis R -esteem of children from separated parents ) has revealed that this is particularly common in Greek families.

The research evidence is overwhelming :
The mother takes custody of children in 87.1 % of cases ( 85.7 % of boys and 88.1 % girls ) versus 12.9 % of cases where the father is the responsible guardian of the children (14, 3% of boys and 11.9 % girls ) .
38.1 % of boys compared with 68.3 % of girls only maintain contact with the mother after divorce .

In contrast , 11.9 % of boys and 6.7 % girls only maintains contacts with his father . With both parents having relationships 47.6 % of boys and 23.3 % girls , while only 2.4 % of boys and 1.7 % of girls do not maintain any contacts with both parents .

This difference in rates is statistically significant .

Variations presented between the two sexes for accountability for divorce. Specifically , 46.3 % of boys and 66.7 % girls considers responsible for the breakup is the father . These rates are reduced to 12.2 % for boys and 11.7 % for girls , when charge separation is considered only the mother .

41.5 % of boys and 21.7 % girls attribute responsibility to both parents .

In urban areas more responsible for the breakup is considered the father , which applies to villages – towns , to a lesser extent .
61.1 % of children aged 15 to 25 felt responsible for splitting the father, the mother 11.1 % and 27.8 % both .

In the age group 26-36 years , 22.2 % felt responsible father , the mother 22.2 % and 55.6 % both .
While only 28.9 % of children aged 15-25 maintain contact with both parents , at ages 26-36 this percentage increased to 88.9 % .

This variation is statistically significant .

Most studies so far have focused incorrectly where the man is exclusively only victim or victimizer . The most common case, however, is the emergence of mutual violence at the couple and then the borderline abuser and victim is blurred .

The roles are complementary and there appears a morbid implicit contract between the partners .

psychological abuse

Emotional or psychological abuse of women refers to behaviors that are intended to humiliate , to humiliate and embarrass the man, make him feel powerless , worthless , guilty , and ultimately to reduce the self-confidence .

Such behavior on the part of women ‘s voices , the constant nagging , the TSIRIDOU , the insults , the irony and sarcasm , ridicule in front of others , financial control , the rate of male relatives and friends , the deliberate interruption of verbal communication by his wife , the exercise of control in every aspect of his life man , the constant criticism etc.

In many cases, psychological abuse can coexist with the natural .

The evidence is overwhelming : The majority of men will experience at some point in his life emotional violence from his partner , but rarely or never to mention it to friends and much more at the beginning .

Yet the consequences will be crucial , as it will negatively affect the self-esteem , job performance , social life and personal and spiritual development.

The young men are five times more likely to suffer psychological abuse compared with their elders and critical phases of life of the couple ( eg Retirement , retraining , job loss , low income, overtime , birth of children ) will exacerbate this phenomenon .

It has now been found that women who experience the same intense social and interpersonal conflicts have borderline personality consume excessive amounts of alcohol , suffer from depression or mood swings are more likely to exert psychological abuse their partners .

This behavior generally reflects their own internal conflicts , childhood trauma or insecurities .

Shout at the men considering them responsible for anything negative happens , instead admit their problem , have unrealistic expectations and demands of them , consider them guilty of their own feelings and blame that they do not do something to change .

They see malice in their every action and endeavor to reduce them to any occasion . Often garment image of the victim and often earn the support of friends who do not know what exactly is the truth .

The male stereotype , the man who wants powerful, secure , independent , self-sufficient and suffering this causes strong emotions in the abused partner , who , if the states would face skepticism , irony and surprise .

The internalisation of the event, however , will cause emotional imbalance and devastated the self-confidence of the man who feels trapped in a situation that is constantly deteriorating. Many victims of psychological abuse reported that ridicule in front of friends cause even more painful emotions and physical violence by women .

The course of psychological abuse sometimes follows this process: first the woman is upset for some reason did not disclose to her partner . The man finds dysthymia and fearing an explosion of anger starts to ask what is , suspecting that something has bothered you .

The woman wants to talk to him , to feel less alone . Originally attributes the conflict to the man and he reacted emotionally isolated and attempts to explain the most logical arguments . The woman then waiting emotional support, feels ignored , experiencing lack of emotional support , does not understand any of the logic of arguments or emotionally distorts the logical message, rages against a man who does not see a major problem , which is essential for that .

The woman angry and starts to perform in this causes all the problems in their relationship . She wonders if her husband has no feelings or why not of the reveals. Eventually attacking him, featuring a liar and engages in word and faces of family and friends environment .

Calls him impotent and useless . Isolated in her room and resort to psychological warfare .

This situation can last for weeks and result in complete devaluation of man . The companion then incriminates himself , he feels unable to understand and even more removed . The risk for psychological violence increases when the scene in front are children , in which the woman communicate how vicious is their father .

This completes the emotional crash man . At some point the man reaches its limits , something breaks , beats his fist on the table , to show her that this is the last one can accept that he is enraged .

Succeeds, however, the exact opposite . So long did not show his emotions. I never gave her to understand that he can control the situation . Ever fell or react passively to a variety of psychological violence , he practiced .

So anger is easily manageable . Instead understand that the situation is out of control , challenges him saying ‘ What you gonna do, hit me . Do it and you destroy financially. You will never see your children again . ‘
The man leaves and he infuriates even more.

The cycle of psychological violence is perpetuated , but that was what she sought subconsciously.

The question that arises is why partners choose to stay with someone who abuses them physically or emotionally . For women , the literature reports a variety of social and cultural roles , emotional dependence on the partner and fear that they will avenge the possibility of separation.

For men , who usually have the financial means to divide and stigma is not as strong , the main reason is the commitment that marriage entails . It may sound strange, but it is usually the man who chooses to divorce , but women .

At the same time , legislation is totally unfair against men . The man will be forced to change lifestyle , sees his children and demarcated under degrading conditions , finances will worsen. The parental role is overshadowed them incorrectly than that of motherhood , the effect of a divorce borne more men and the experience of separation is much stronger .

In a nationwide survey ( Papanis 2004 ) found that separated women had much higher self-esteem compared with divorced men who tie down for many years in traumatic phase separation.

Finally , the social stereotypes of a ‘strong ‘ sex will cause the abused man suffered sarcasm , teasing and ridicule , if conceive terminate the event.
‘ It is time for our society to free itself from the stereotypes concerning gender and redefine their role in a more rationally and less hysterical voices ‘ concludes Mr
Papanis .
Sophia Neta