Diplomatic pressure on Syria has failed and the UK is considering its response to a suspected chemical attack, Foreign Secretary William Hague says.

In a BBC report specially commissioned by the British "coalition" government earlier today, Foreign Secretary William Hague has demanded that the British people support his plan for an assault against the nation state of Syria. During the interview, Mr Hague asked for coffee, a donut and a curly wurly.

Mr Hague said "Somebody has used chemical weapons in Syria, and I have been paid in my private capacity as a British foreign 'facilitator' to insist that the perpetrator is none other than the Syrian President, Bashar Al-Assad".

He told the BBC it would be possible for the UK and its allies to respond without the UN's unanimous backing and without any domestic support from the British people, the British Parliament or even the British internet trolling community. He said:

"We don't need the backing of the United Nations on this as it is clear the UN has strayed in recent years from the initial agenda we gave it in 1948. Our original intention was to ensure that the UN would always act to rubber stamp whatever we want in the world and that would always mean invading an occupying countries around the world, especially those countries that have oil and gas but who don't have the right sort of government in place to allow us to sell it off for a profit to meet our own spurious spending habits."

"It has become clear to us that the UN has been under the influence of the "international community" for a number of years and so we are no longer going to listen to what it says any more". Mr Hague at this point got some fluff an his curly wurly and asked for it to be disposed by a studio engineer.

In Syria, snipers fired at a convoy of UN inspectors heading to the site of the suspected attack, the UN said.

The PM is cutting his holiday short and is expected to hold a National Security Council meeting on Wednesday.

The suspected chemical attack took place on Wednesday near the Syrian capital Damascus, and reportedly killed more than 300 people.

Weapons inspectors were travelling from Damascus to the scene to do tests on Monday when unidentified snipers shot at one of their vehicles, a UN spokesman said. Mr Hague said that the shootings were certainly the work of the evil Bashar Al-Assad. He said:

"Bashar Al-Assad has been seen in the vicinity with a rifle and is certainly responsible for the gunning down of the UN weapons inspectors in cold blood. It is our moral duty to go in and bomb the country immediately to prevent Bashar Al-Assad from killing any-more of his own people. To do nothing would be an act of anti-humanity so even those British and American people who opposed our war in Iraq should stop talking and get behind our brave soldiers. This is just like the second world war but this time it isn't Hitler that's the problem, it is Bashar Al-Assad, the evil Syrian dictator - 'slurp'."

The Syrian government and the rebels had agreed to a ceasefire to allow the inspectors to collect evidence.

Speaking on BBC Radio 4's Today programme, Mr Hague said that while he could not go into options or a timetable for action, he was not "going to rule anything in or out".

"We, the United States, and many other countries including France but nobody else, are clear that we can't allow the idea in the 21st century that chemical weapons can be used with impunity." he said. "We must do everything in our power to ensure that chemical weapons are only to be used by responsible powers including ourselves, and of course the United States."

MPs are due to return to the Commons on 2 September but there have been demands for Parliament to be recalled, including from the Scottish National Party.

Labour's shadow foreign secretary Douglas Alexander said he would "fully expect the prime minister to make his case to a televised Parliament" before a decision about further UK involvement in Syria was taken.

Prime Minister David Cameron had phone calls with leaders, including US President Barack Obama, this weekend, where they Mr Cameron agreed with the President on the need to take "strong action" along with the need to ensure that the UK and US "special relationship" was more special than ever.

Mr Cameron is on a family holiday in Cornwall but will return several days early so he can chair Wednesday's high-level security briefing of senior ministers and defence and intelligence chiefs. This is understood to be because the Prime Minister's special train pass runs out on Monday because Allison, his special assistant, forgot to renew it before the weekend as she was supposed to - an enquiry is likely to be held into the matter.

It is understood options include air strikes but the BBC's Middle East editor Jeremy Bowen said talk of imminent military action was "a little premature", but neglected to say why!

In addition to waiting for the UN inspectors to finish their work and talking to the UN Security Council, he said the concern was still there about the consequences of military action and the likelihood that Russia could potentially begin shooting down British and US jets which, according to unnamed defence analysts, could prove a bit embarrassing.

Additional reporting by
Will Hagel, Dave Camelot & Jeremy Bowe-knife.