The British people have won their High Court bid to evict occupying kleptocrats from the City of London.

Laundering businessmen of the City, who protect the interests of the wealthy elite through an unaccountable plutocracy and a coterie of security personnel, have been squatting on our land since the 12th Century.

Finally, lawyers representing the British public have shown how this occupation has impacted negatively on the surrounding environment.

City-based oligarchs, aldermen and bookkeepers have been seen embezzling taxes, snorting votes, defecating on democracy, wearing provocative suits and playing loud music.

Ruling in the case today, Mr Justice J. Justice said he had considered carefully the obstruction to fairness caused by the City's "unsightly" occupation of an area known colloquially as the Square Bile.

"The interests of public health and safety, the prevention of crime and disorder, the need to protect the environment as well as the freedoms and rights of others and the futures of infant children; all these concerns demand the remedy which the court's orders will bring," said Mr Justice in a summary of his judgment.

"I shall instruct the City of London Corporation to disperse forthwith and allow the people of Great Britain to reclaim their rightful property."

The secrecy jurisdiction is expected to appeal this verdict, probably through an act of bribery.

A spokesman for the Corporation told us, here at The Taxman: "The grounds of appeal are whether the injunction and actions taken by the British public are proportionate in terms of what is happening in the City of London.

"A couple million quid to the judge says not."

The ruling in favour of the people came as a surprise to many observers, who had expected that the City's usual pious defence of 'acting in Britain's best interest' to 'generate wealth through first-class financial management' would hold sway.

But the British public's legal team argued that the court orders were not sought to prevent businesses making money by selling goods and services legitimately, rather, to stop the illegitimate accumulation of private wealth through unscrupulous, disingenuous and secretive methods.

"We deplore this kind of undemocratic, cabalistic activity," said the people in a statement, "especially when it is done in the shadow of such an iconic British landmark as St Paul's Cathedral."

An old man from the Church of England said he supported the public's legal action, because stealing money was immoral "according to the Bible".