The following press release has been sent to Radiation Free Lakeland:

PROGRESS ON LONG-TERM NUCLEAR WASTE PLAN

PRESS NOTICE: DATE: 28 JUNE 2011

Due to the current untenable waste situation within the nuclear industry, the Government has decided to ask for volunteer communities for one or more Repositories for Atomic Pollutants in the Environment (RAPE). 

Communities electing to be voluntarily RAPED can apply to join the SHAFT scheme  (Special Help After your Futures Termination).  Those who have been RAPED AND SHAFTED will then be reviewed to qualify under the SCREW scheme.  (Scheme for Radioactive Environment and Water).

Please note that you can only be RAPED once , SHAFTED TWICE  but SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

Most importantly the Government prides itself on providing  Communities who have been RAPED, with substantial CRAP  (Community Recompense for Atomic Pollution).  If the Community feels it has not received enough CRAP please bring this to the attention of the minister responsible as his remit is to give all the CRAP you can handle as outlined below:

“Charles Hendry, Minister of State for Energy, told a meeting of the Geological Disposal Implementation Board in London today: “Today’s annual report and proposals for identifying and assessing possible sites show that we are making progress in this vital area. I want us to continue to be ambitious in our timescales for delivery. I would like us to set a goal of putting the first (high level) waste into a geological disposal facility by the end of 2029. I have tasked the Nuclear Decommissioning Authority to look at opportunities for accelerating progress to meet this aim.”