How to defend the indefensible in 21 easy steps - just add Chutzpah - Empathy NOT included

Some readers out there may aspire to careers in foreign policy, and you may be called upon to perform these duties as part of your professional obligations. Moreover, all of us need to be able to spot the rhetorical ploys that governments use to justify their own misconduct. To help students prepare for future acts of diplomatic casuistry, and to raise public consciousness about these tactics, I offer as a public service this handy 21-step guide: "How to Defend the Indefensible and Get Away With It." The connection to recent events is obvious, but such practices are commonplace in many countries and widely practiced by non-state actors as well.

The Israeli Hasbara Ministry's 21-Step Guide to instant internet-based atrocity denial

1. We didn't do it! (Denials usually don't work, but it's worth a try).

1.a. Anyone that says we did, is an Anti-Semite



2. We know you think we did it but we aren't admitting anything.

2.a. Anyone that says we are, is an Anti-Semite



3. Actually, maybe we did do something but not what we are accused of doing.

3.a. Anyone that says we did what we are accused of doing , is an Anti-Semite



4. Ok, we did it but it wasn't that bad ("waterboarding isn't really torture, you know").

4.a. Anyone that says it was that bad, is an Anti-Semite



5. Well, maybe it was pretty bad but it was justified or necessary. (We only torture terrorists, or suspected terrorists, or people who might know a terrorist...")

5.a. Anyone that says that it wasn't necessary, is an Anti-Semite



6. What we did was really quite restrained, when you consider how powerful we really are. I mean, we could have done something even worse.

6.a. Anyone that says we were not restrained, is an Anti-Semite



7. Besides, what we did was technically legal under some interpretations of international law (or at least as our lawyers interpret the law as it applies to us.)

7.a. Anyone that says what we did was illegal, is an Anti-Semite



8. Don't forget: the other side is much worse. In fact, they're evil. Really.

8.a. Anyone that says they're not, is an Anti-Semite



9. Plus, they started it.

9.a. Anyone that says that they didn't, is an Anti-Semite



10. And remember: We are the good guys. We are not morally equivalent to the bad guys no matter what we did. Only morally obtuse, misguided critics could fail to see this fundamental distinction between Them and Us.

10.a. Anyone that says that we are NOT the good guys, is an Anti-Semite



11. The results may have been imperfect, but our intentions were noble. (Invading Iraq may have resulted in tens of thousands of dead and wounded and millions of refugees, but we meant well.)

11.a. Anyone that says our intentions were not 100% noble, is an Anti-Semite



12. We have to do things like this to maintain our credibility. You don't want to encourage those bad guys, do you?

12.a. Anyone that says otherwise, is an Anti-Semite



13. Especially because the only language the other side understands is force.

13.a. Anyone that disagrees, is an Anti-Semite



14. In fact, it was imperative to teach them a lesson. For the Nth time.

14a. Anyone that disagrees, is an Anti-Semite



15. If we hadn't done this to them they would undoubtedly have done something even worse to us. Well, maybe not. But who could take that chance?

15.a. Anyone that disagrees, is an Anti-Semite



16. In fact, no responsible government could have acted otherwise in the face of such provocation.

16.a. Anyone that disagrees, is an Anti-Semite



17. Plus, we had no choice. What we did may have been awful, but all other policy options had failed and/or nothing else would have worked.

17.a. Anyone that disagrees, is an Anti-Semite



18. It's a tough world out there and Serious People understand that sometimes you have to do these things. Only ignorant idealists, terrorist sympathizers, craven appeasers and/or treasonous liberals would question our actions.

18.a. Anyone that disagrees, is an Anti-Semite



19. In fact, whatever we did will be worth it eventually, and someday the rest of the world will thank us.

19.a. Anyone that disagrees, is an Anti-Semite



20. We are the victims of a double-standard. Other states do the same things (or worse) and nobody complains about them. What we did was therefore permissible.

20.a. Anyone that disagrees, is an Anti-Semite



21. And if you keep criticizing us, we'll get really upset and then we might do something really crazy. You don't want that, do you?

Repeat as necessary.

You must have missed the story earlier in the year about how the Israeli government were paying students to troll internet forums and post astroturfing comments about how great Israel was. This isn't some antisemitic conspiracy theory, it is mainstream fact.

I'm sure many Zionists do it for free as well, but certainly some get paid for doing it.

You could rewrite your posting starting with the line:

1. We didn't fire rockets into Israel

1a. And anyone who says we did is a Zionist troll paid by Israel

2 We didn't use knives and iron bars

2a. And anyone who says we did is a Zionist troll paid by Israel

etc

I boycott Israel, not because of the actions of the IDF (which are crimes against others) but because of the Hasbara (which is an insult to my intelligence). The Zionists ought to pay someone to teach them how psychologically deluded and politically isolated they really are.

It's has become pretty obvious from time, that Israel has a massive media manipulation army which
ranges from people who write letters to the mainstream media to people who scream insults on, for example youtube and indymedia.
I think once you actually get the gist of it it can be quite interesting to play along.
I mean that these "people" are basically programed "mediabots" they don't think for themselves they are
given a certain criteria, which they repeat over and over.
On youtube videos you get a lot of rabid comments from people who sound like satanic football hooligans.
On other channels there are the mild mannered types who have suddenly seen the light and realized that Israel is the victim that has suffered so much... I wonder if they can really keep it up for much longer.
Or will living the lie sometime catch up with them and they'll all start flipping out and losing the plot.

Yes, there is a powerful pro-Israel lobby. No, GIYUS/Megaphone is not a significant part of it. It's an RSS feed/reader, not a sinister global media control weapon. Their publicly available feed (see  http://ws.giyus.org/points/list ) features about a story a week, none of which is from indymedia. Presently most people won't be able to install the Firefox extension as it only works on quite old versions. Their forum doesn't work due to what looks like a webserver configuration error. Ranting about this totally unimportant and seemingly quite broken bit of software makes people look foolish, at best.