Dear Mr. Springer,

Thank you for contacting me. Actually, I just received a somewhat skeptical email today from someone who read the information at your site. I would be more than happy to answer questions about validity, etc. with the following provision. I write under a pen name to protect my two children and husband, whom I do not want to have receiving hostile or threatening phone calls, etc. My two children are still healing from the experiences of being raised in the group as well, and I don't want any experiences that could traumatize them.

The topic I am addressing is somewhat volatile, to say the least. People have strong emotions pro and con as to whether the Illuminati are real. That said, I will give you a little background info, feel free to share this with readers. Also, my column at  http://www.Suite101.com (I have a column on ritual abuse; do a search on 'svali') has numerous articles on this topic if people want to learn more.

1. I was born in 1957 in Alexandria, Virginia. I lived briefly in a small town about an hour away from Washington, DC, then moved to a 500 acre farm in northern Virginia when my mother married my stepfather. Both my mother and my stepfather were members of this group. It is a very generational group. My mother sat on the regional council over the Washington, DC area and was in the "spiritual chair" (the Illuminati have 6 chairs on their ascended masters council: Sciences, Government, Leadership, Scholarship, Spiritual, and Military.)

These also correlate to the areas that children are taught growing up in this group. They believe in "well rounded" children. The "spiritual" rituals, or occult rituals, were only one small part of the teaching of this group, the other five areas are also equally emphasized. I spent more time learning history, languages, and sciences than I did seeing rituals, although they were important to the group.

2. I went to school in Charlottesville, Va. 1975 to 1981, where I received a BSN in nursing, and a BA in Spanish ( I got two degrees). This is also a place where a lot intense abuse and occultic crime occurred, on an estate about 10 miles south west of Charlottesville going towards Crowley, Virginia.

3. After graduation, I went to San Diego in 1981 ( I was called there by the leadership there, they were strong in military training but weak in sciences, which was my forte). I came and sat on leadership council, I was the sixth head trainer there (the lowest head trainer) and had 30 trainers in the local groups reporting to me. Leadership council met in Ramona, Ca. on an estate there that belonged to a man named Jonathan Meiers.

When I went to the police in 1996 (after I had left the group) sure enough, there was an estate there belonging to someone with that name. One of his cult names was "Black Hand" because he wore black gloves when he worked with people. He was the head trainer in the group, and one of the most sadistic and brutal people I ever knew. He burned out most of the trainers that worked with him, and I made it because I had a friend on leadership council who hated him and helped me undermine him (the Illuminati are a very political and back stabbing group, a "dog eat dog" mentality; everyone wants to move up ). Her cult name was Athena.

After years (12) of working with Jonathan, I moved up to the second head trainer position in the county. Jonathan was getting ready to move to regional, and he wanted me to take his place. But he and I also despised each other, and he set me up to take a fall. That's a whole different story, and was one of the factors that made me leave the group. I left the group in 1995, sick of the lying, deceiving, and politics, and fearful for my life. I fled to Texas, and went through therapy with Dr. Jerry Mundgaze and his group. But unfortunately, they didn't know how to help "deprogram me", or as Dr. Mundgaze told me, "you are higher than almost anyone we have seen, and more programmed."

I remembered so much, and he had never heard of it and had no idea how to help (definitely no suggesting of memories there, most of mine occurred spontaneously, AT HOME. I have never been hypnotized or age regressed, all of my memories have occurred in the course of daily life).

I spent a year intensely deprogramming myself. I was a head programmer, or trainer, so I used my knowledge to undo what was done to me. I also became enraged as I realized that the abuse I had endured (and done to others) was NOT normal, was used to manipulate me, etc.

My book is based on my memories as an ADULT in this group. I was a perpetrator, and I now regret it considerably. It is my restitution before God as I expose what this group does and stands for. I also wrote it for therapists, to help them understand the group and its methodologies, since it was so difficult to hear from a nationally known ritual abuse center, "we don't know what to do...". I based it on what I did to heal.

Two years ago, my children were on visitation with me and disclosed their abuse to me. I went to CPS, and the case was closed, because the worker said she didn't believe in ritual abuse! My ex came to get the children (he could have put me in federal prison for not giving the children back, since the San Diego court system blatantly states that they do not believe in ritual abuse, and in EVERY case of alleged RA, the children are given to the allegedly abusing parent).

The children confronted him in person. He turned white as a sheet, said, "you really don't want to go back to "family", they said "no". He then fled to California, quit his job, and moved out here and is in therapy for RA and DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). My children are also in therapy, and healing rapidly. My now 12 year old son is almost completely integrated, and happier than he has ever been before; my 16 year old daughter has some tough issues to face, such as the sexual abuse she endured. But God has been faithful in His healing work in all of our lives.

I wish that this was just "made up". That it weren't real. But it is. There is too much documentation of this occurring (I can send you an URL for documented convicted RA cases). My greatest regret is that I was used by this group, after a lifetime of teaching, to be a perpetrator of the worst kind. I used to torture and abuse others, believing that I was "helping" them.

Now, I realize that what I did was wrong, I have asked God's forgiveness. And am committed to exposing this group through my writing. I am also a professional writer in the medical field, was a registered nurse for 18+ years, and currently work as an ESL teacher, health educator, and freelance author (on non abuse topics!). I hope this is enough background info, it is the truth before God and men. If you need any other, that won't compromise my anonymity or my children's protection, please let me know.

Sincerely, Svali