Dear Sussex Police

For us bank holiday Monday normally means hanging around outside Stringfellows at 3am in the hope of snapping some media tart so pissed she can't help flashing her knickers. However next week we'll all be having an early night, then jumping in the motor down to the seaside.

We won't be on holiday, we'll be looking for some good shots of masked up thugs swinging lumps of wood, in the past our editors wanted them to be dressed in black hoodies with dreadlocks poking out. That's sooo last month, now everyone wants a shot of the boys in blue handing out some rough justice.

We'll be following your every move, so don't disappoint, don't wear your numbers, knock about the hippies and lets hope you kill someone huh? Who wouldn't want to be be 'suspended on full pay'? You know what you need to do, you've been doing it at every other demo over the last thirty years, we couldn't bothered snapping you back then, but it's news now, so don't stop!

We'll make a fucking packet!

Yours

The Paparazzi Bloc