Dear Lady Warnock,

I am to attend Camberwell Green Magistrates' Court on September 8th, 2008 at 10:00 a.m. regarding a public order offence for saying that wonderful anglo saxon word 'b*llocks'.

In speaking with my solicitor last week, he has advised me that you have been quoted in the Observer regarding our Olympic champions usage of another anglo-saxon word - 'f*ck' and made some relevant arguments to my own case.

I was hoping that if you are able to attend court, you may have something very interesting to add to my defence arguments.

Currently, I am relying on Professor Kingsley's arguments that were used in the 70's regarding the trial of 'b*llocks' and the infamous album by the sex pistols - "Never mind the b*llocks - it's the Sex Pistols" and the assumption that the public has become less sensitive over the past thirty years as opposed to more sensitive to this language.

I am certain you can appreciate my opinion that this forthcoming trial is 'b*llocks' and a waste of the tax-payers purse.

My solicitor is Mr. George Gross, a senior partner with Moss and Co Solicitors and can be contacted on x. I am positive he would be thrilled to hear from you and have your
invaluable input regarding this rediculous case.

I can be reached on .

Thank you in advance for your time in reading this email and I look forward to your response at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Charity Sweet