He liked to ride his bicycle

Walker | 29.10.2007 00:00 | Repression

Incredible stuff! Maybe 'having sex with a bed' will become an offence (applies if you have a boner in the morning on waking etc and are caught doing it with your bed) FFS. BTW does anybody know how you have sex with pavements? (read below) Maybe it's like with the bed but a bit rougher? :- ) Answers on a postcard ..

Man who had sex with bike in court
28/10/2007

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox

Walker

Comments

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i wasgoing to comment, but

29.10.2007 12:55

but

but

what happens behind

29.10.2007 13:35

closed doors between consenting bikes and their friends is their affair.

hmm

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Critical Mass

29.10.2007 15:29

turbation

Penny Farthing

Human rights abuse

18.11.2007 12:56

There's a serious abuse of human rights at play here. Aberley House appears to be some dodgy privately run homeless hostel used by Ayrshire Council. Obviously, residents aren't entitled to privacy or personal freedom. If this guy wants to shag his bike he should be able to - same as I could shag any inanimate object in my home if I chose to.

Aided by the prurient media, this government is running a seriously repressive sexual agenda - proposals to criminalise users of prostitutes, people who choose to look at "violent" porn - the CCTV cameras will be running in our bedrooms soon.

Abdul Alhazred