Saturday, August 11, 2007


Aug. 11, 2007 (McClatchy-Tribune Regional News delivered by Newstex) --
Dear Amy: My problem started when I entered my baby in a beauty pageant. Almost everyone criticized my decision to do this, including my boss and her daughter, whom I also work with.

Well, at the next local pageant we went to, my boss and her daughter were there and entered the daughter's baby, who is the same age as mine.

My daughter won that pageant, and things at work have been nasty ever since. I have been working at the same office for years. Now my close co-workers and I have been targeted.

What should I do? My daughter and I love the pageants -- but I also need a job. Should I move on?

-- Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Dear Between: Before a savvy movie producer scoops up an option on your story for a seamy movie of the week, I'd also like to weigh in.

Babies do not enjoy beauty pageants. Babies tolerate beauty pageants. It is mommies and daddies and the organizers who take their money who love pageants so much.

(And that goes for your boss and her daughter's pint-size contestant too.)

If you are being targeted and bullied at work, then you should contact your human resources department. If this is a small family business with no HR, it might be more challenging to work this out. You can do some research on workplace discrimination by checking the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission's Web site: www.eeoc.gov -- though what these people are doing may fall into a 'gray area.'

If you feel that this situation has deteriorated beyond the point of no return, you should definitely consider changing jobs.

Life is too short to engage in 'baby wars' at work.

Dear Amy: Last weekend, my husband and I took our 11-year-old son to see the new 'Harry Potter' movie at our local movie theater. After we were seated, a family with small children sat in the row behind us. One child looked to be around a year old.

When the show started and it became dark, the baby started to cry. The mother just sat in her seat holding the baby. No one around us could enjoy the movie.

About 15 minutes into the show, I got up and went out into the lobby to find the theater manager. I told him of the problem, and he then asked the mother to leave if she wasn't able to quiet down the child.

She finally left the theater with the baby, and the father stayed with the other children.

Was I wrong in asking the manager to correct the problem? Why would these parents bring a baby to a packed PG-13 movie? I would have found a sitter or stayed home! People are so rude to other people these days!

-- Movie Mom

Dear Mom: Sometimes families desperate to have a night out will put their good sense on the shelf to try to enjoy a couple of hours of escape in a movie theater.

This is how my 1-year-old baby niece ended up attending 'Jurassic Park,' a noisy, frightening, PG-13 movie that she slept through (she is now a budding movie critic, incidentally).

Some theaters have helpfully installed 'quiet rooms,' where caregivers can take fussy babies and still watch the film.

You did the right thing; with movie tickets inching up toward $10 a pop, a night out at the movies is a major commitment, and everybody deserves the same opportunity to enjoy the show.

Dear Amy: I am responding to 'Cringing Wife,' who complained about her husband's poor professional attire.

Don't ask me why, but I really like the show on TLC called 'What Not To Wear.' In each episode, the hosts critique someone's fashion sense and then help them make themselves over with some instruction (and $5,000).

Even if this wife can't get her husband on the show, she might benefit from learning how to put things together fashionably. Get her husband to watch, and see if he can learn a thing or two.

-- Fashion Challenged

Dear Challenged: I'm a fan of the show too. My favorite moments are when the fashion 'victims' go through their old wardrobe and describe and justify why they like their hideous outfits. Who can't identify with that? Mainly, the show demonstrates how most of us fall into fashion ruts.

Anyone who has ever gone to work dressed like a 'before' picture (as I have) could benefit from a little help.

------

Ask Amy appears Mondays through Fridays in Tempo, Saturdays in the Weekend section and Sundays in Q. Send questions via e-mail to  askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611. Previous columns are available at chicagotribune.com/amy.

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