Good news at last - Bernard Manning dies.
mini mouse | 18.06.2007 22:18 | Anti-racism
Controversial comedian Bernard Manning has died aged 76 after being treated in hospital for a kidney condition.
Manchester-based Manning denied being racist, once remarking: "I tell jokes. You never take a joke seriously."
Manchester-based Manning denied being racist, once remarking: "I tell jokes. You never take a joke seriously."
A charity dinner was held in 1995 near Manchester to raise funds for the police. One entertainer invited was Bernard Manning, one of the standup comedians who do the rounds of working men’s clubs in Northern England and notorious for his anti-ethnic jokes.
The dinner was attended by some 300 policemen – all white except for one black officer. Targeting this single black man, Bernard launched into a string of racist jibes. His audience (yes, the police audience) all whooped with delight and cheered him on. Here’s a sample of the jibes reported in News of the World (April 1995):
“Where is he? How are you, baby? Having a night out with nice people? Isn’t this better than swinging from the trees? – You’re black, I’m white. Do you think colour makes a difference? You bet your bollocks it does!”
“They actually think they’re English because they are born here. That means if a dog’s born in a stable, it is horse.”
“They used to be happy people in the cotton fields, singing their bollocks off day and night. A fella used to go around with a whip… ‘Oh, massa, give us another crack of dat whip. I love dat whip’…”
“A Liverpool docker went to South Africa for a job. The boss tells him: ‘It’s people like you we want here. Here’s a test. There’s a revolver, go out and shoot 6 niggers and a rabbit.’ The docker asks: ‘Why do I have to shoot the rabbit?’ He got the job.”
The occasion raised £28,000 for police charities. Said former Liverpool Council leader (Derek Hutton), a dinner guest: “The fact it was a police dinner makes it all the more disgusting… The black guy could do little about it. He had this embarrassed grin on his face. But the police officers loved it. They were standing on the chairs clapping and cheering…Just think, next morning some of them would be patrolling the Moss Side area (which has a large black population)…” Labour MP Terry Rooney said he would ask the Home Secretary to investigate, adding that “these men are defenders of the public… it shows that racist attitudes are still prevalent in the force…”
Characteristically, the victim’s own reaction was not reported. Instead the offender offered to speak for the victim and reconstruct his experience. Said Manning: “That (black) constable enjoyed every minute of it. It certainly wasn’t in bad taste.”
Writer and broadcaster Barry Cryer said: "The thing about Bernard was that he looked funny, he sounded funny and he had excellent timing. It was just what he actually said that could be worrying."
Another comedian, Stan Boardman, said that all he did "was take the mickey", which was "the British sense of humour".
A bit of background:
"Comic Stan Boardman, 61, (left) was hired by Leeds United football club to entertain guests at the club’s awards dinner. At the dinner were players Bowyer and Woodgate who were alleged to have assaulted Asian student Sarfraz Najeib in January 2001 outside a nightclub.
Said Boardman: “I see Woodgate and Bowyer are here tonight. I hear they went out to a club last night. When they came out, one said: I would murder an Indian.”
An Asian guest, Steven Thomas, supporter of Leeds United, called him a disgrace and told him to go back to Liverpool. Boardman hit back: “F****** hell. I am being heckled by Pakis now. Why don’t you go back to your curry house or shop in Bradford? Your elephant’s waiting outside.”
(
http://www.goacom.org/overseas-digest/Race%20(UK)/jibes.html)
The dinner was attended by some 300 policemen – all white except for one black officer. Targeting this single black man, Bernard launched into a string of racist jibes. His audience (yes, the police audience) all whooped with delight and cheered him on. Here’s a sample of the jibes reported in News of the World (April 1995):
“Where is he? How are you, baby? Having a night out with nice people? Isn’t this better than swinging from the trees? – You’re black, I’m white. Do you think colour makes a difference? You bet your bollocks it does!”
“They actually think they’re English because they are born here. That means if a dog’s born in a stable, it is horse.”
“They used to be happy people in the cotton fields, singing their bollocks off day and night. A fella used to go around with a whip… ‘Oh, massa, give us another crack of dat whip. I love dat whip’…”
“A Liverpool docker went to South Africa for a job. The boss tells him: ‘It’s people like you we want here. Here’s a test. There’s a revolver, go out and shoot 6 niggers and a rabbit.’ The docker asks: ‘Why do I have to shoot the rabbit?’ He got the job.”
The occasion raised £28,000 for police charities. Said former Liverpool Council leader (Derek Hutton), a dinner guest: “The fact it was a police dinner makes it all the more disgusting… The black guy could do little about it. He had this embarrassed grin on his face. But the police officers loved it. They were standing on the chairs clapping and cheering…Just think, next morning some of them would be patrolling the Moss Side area (which has a large black population)…” Labour MP Terry Rooney said he would ask the Home Secretary to investigate, adding that “these men are defenders of the public… it shows that racist attitudes are still prevalent in the force…”
Characteristically, the victim’s own reaction was not reported. Instead the offender offered to speak for the victim and reconstruct his experience. Said Manning: “That (black) constable enjoyed every minute of it. It certainly wasn’t in bad taste.”
Writer and broadcaster Barry Cryer said: "The thing about Bernard was that he looked funny, he sounded funny and he had excellent timing. It was just what he actually said that could be worrying."
Another comedian, Stan Boardman, said that all he did "was take the mickey", which was "the British sense of humour".
A bit of background:
"Comic Stan Boardman, 61, (left) was hired by Leeds United football club to entertain guests at the club’s awards dinner. At the dinner were players Bowyer and Woodgate who were alleged to have assaulted Asian student Sarfraz Najeib in January 2001 outside a nightclub.
Said Boardman: “I see Woodgate and Bowyer are here tonight. I hear they went out to a club last night. When they came out, one said: I would murder an Indian.”
An Asian guest, Steven Thomas, supporter of Leeds United, called him a disgrace and told him to go back to Liverpool. Boardman hit back: “F****** hell. I am being heckled by Pakis now. Why don’t you go back to your curry house or shop in Bradford? Your elephant’s waiting outside.”
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mini mouse
Comments
Hide the following 11 comments
A sad day
18.06.2007 23:08
Danny
CRAP
19.06.2007 07:59
You people Mini mouse (was'nt Walt Disney a racist as well) and Danny are just small minded, bitter and paranoid individuals who look for racism in a cup of tea. You probably think Jo Brand is funny making jokes about testicular cancer or snigger at jokes about paedophiles. Why don't you put up a proper post about child slavery in COMMUNIST China or the weakness of our legal system which means that paedophile scum like Timothy Cox who traded in live images of children and babies being abused could be out of jail in 18 months. No you probably think that some fat bloke banned from the TV and radio (censorship?) telling jokes in his OWN club in Manchester is far worse.
I hope Bernard Manning gets buried at sea, so you can tap dance on his grave !!!
JIMBO
Good riddance!
19.06.2007 10:05
alia
now there's an idea
19.06.2007 10:50
assuming he's buried on land. A competition to see how many could simultaneously dance there
professional dancer
controversial
19.06.2007 11:49
peoples republic of southwark
"I tell jokes. You never take a joke seriously."
19.06.2007 12:40
And if they bury him at sea the whole east coast of America will get wiped out in a massive fucking tsunami. But at least he sweaty bastard would get a wash.
Perhaps they should play safe and make a or a bouncy castle out of him. Mind you, can you imagine the fall out if that fucker burst. Apart from all the mountain of shit he’d produce the toxic cloud would block out the sun for years.
But seriously, think of all those pie shops that will go into liquidation not that him and Ariel Sharon have gone to meet their maker. I hope Satan has enough room down there.
Chubby B
Bernard
19.06.2007 13:24
Bernie
SICKOS
19.06.2007 14:40
I am sure that even in death Bernard would be very pleased that he is managing to annoy the boring, self absorbed, self loathing, arrogant, anti-racist, anti-homophobic, anti-sexist, middle-class student/ex-student brigade.
ALF GARNETT
So he did a lot of work for jewish charities...
19.06.2007 14:53
I bet he did never insult jews like he did insult black people.
Just like his modern successor Sacha Baron Cohen can afford to portray ethnic kazhakstanis as subhuman homosexuals who put their women in cages and drink horse's piss with impunity.
If anyone would do just 0.01% of what the above two are doing but directed at jews, I just let you imagine what would happen to that person.
Fucking double standards.
Worse than that even.
Yeah call me a racist or an antisemit if you like.
styx
bernard manning's "sense of humour" re: jewish people
19.06.2007 15:29
"i've just found out my grandad died at Auschwitz. He fell out of the machine-gun tower."
'nuff said
arbeit
arbeit
19.06.2007 21:08
styx