I'll be at the Electronic Warfare Conference in Switzerland this May because.....
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I started out in Essex, but moved into town
Around about the time that the Crays were around.
I got into guns and learned odds and sods,
Made a few contacts, got hold of some rods.

The market was good with the brothers about
And before they were clobbered I was up and out.
I’d made a few contacts with some city-type bods
Who knew a load of Arabs who were looking for rods.

I moved up to Armalites and Kalashnikovs
And left the twins to their small time rip-offs.
No two ways about it I was making a killing
The buyers were there without you looking.

But this geezer in the FO was the one I had to thank
For setting up my first deal selling a tank.
Funny thing was I never saw the thing
Just sat in the office and let the telephone ring.

Then I went to Beirut in the Lebanon
Where half the blokes are like Reg and half like Ron
We got into rockets and mortars were nice
They paid in gold and un-cut ice.

It was like a permanent Saturday night
Down the roughest pub near a building site
But we made a bomb, while we sold a few
Then pissed off home before the fuses blew

After that I was on my way
I did a little deal with the IRA
They put me on to the Red Brigade
Which was hardly worth it for the money they paid

But it gave me an in to the PLO
And from them to Libya where’s there’s real dough
All sorts of geezers wanting all sorts of gear
I could’ve stayed for years but I missed me beer.

Back in the smoke the game was cooking
The buyers were there without you looking
Iran and Iraq were buying the best
And the African boys took care of the rest

New wars were coming up about one a week
The deal was done before you could speak
Everything was peace and profit back home
With just the occasional bomb in Rome

I never saw a gun from one week to another
But I sold forty thousand to a sheikh…. and his brother
I wouldn’t say most of our clients are fun
But I’ll talk to anyone who’s buying a gun

The government’s been co-operative
They understand that we gotta live
They turn a blind and we turn a buck
As long as pockets are lined they don’t give a fuck

Speaking just for me
The game has been good
And I’ve done very well
For a Basildon hood
Hear the song at  http://www.myspace.com/ccambler