St. George's Day will see pubs pushing homebrews and England flags, in a weekend long public version of Al Murray's Happy Hour. Ah, how the heart swells with pride when we hear the name of that great British...oh dash, wasn't he was Turkish?

Like many patron saints, George wasn't from the countries who've adopted him. According to most he was the son of a Roman soldier from Cappodocia and his Lyddaian (today Lod, Israel)wife. Never mind, the British are renowned for their tolerance of Eastern European/West Asian immigrants, right?

Groups are campaigning to make St. George's Day a National Bank Holiday because other countries already have and dammit he's our patron and we're a small country with a big ego. Catalonia, Serbia, Russia, Bulgaria- all celebrate the day on either the 23rd April or 6th May. People at St. George's Day Events and www.stgeorgesday.com are aiming for the 23rd, to celebrate the day George was decapitated and martyred.

St. George is also the patron saint of Venice, Genoa, Portugal, Catalonia, Canada, Ethiopia, Georgia, Greece, Montenegro, Portugal, Serbia, the cities of Istanbul, Ljubljana and Moscow, skin diseases, and syphillis. In the Coptic tradition he's called the 'bridegroom of Christ', leading some to nominate him as the potential patron of same-sex matrimony. Imagine the celebrations! School children visiting clinics, something funded by the EU, flags boasting St. George's crosses superimposed over a rainbow flapping in every window...