The internet was just born and already it has 6 billion websites, one for every blogger on Earth today. Human beings are obsessed with writing and even more obsessed with Paris Hilton, the number three search on the internet, behind Britney Spears and Barbaro (PBUH). Lets get to know a little about Paris Hilton our modern day Aphrodite aka Venus, the Goddess of Love, Beauty and Sex worshipped by the Greek and Roman people 4 thousand years ago. This was when people knew how to conquer the world properly. Raping and pillaging were art forms.

Paris Hilton proves once again that sex sells perfume, religion and newspapers. The difference between print and online newspapers is that for online newspapers we don’t need to cut down all the trees on earth, our only source of oxygen and throw them out that day. It’s like an Alzheimer and emphysema patient disconnecting her oxygen tank and using it as a vacuum cleaner. The operation was a success but the doctor died.

God carved in stone Himself that we were not allowed to idolize anyone on the earth or man made idols. Recently Paris Hilton had stored $2500 worth of stuff in a warehouse. She forgot to pay the bill and her items were auctioned off. Someone bought them for $20,000 and then flipped them the next day on eBay for $10 million dollars to some website guy. Hollywood starlets are man made idols. Sometimes these idols become the source of vicious gossip. As if Tara Reid didn’t have enough problems today some porn guy said on satellite radio that Tara Reid just lays there in bed like a dead fish although he claimed to have had sex with her on numerous occasions. Why? Was his internet down?

Four thousand years ago the Greek Goddess Aphrodite Festival was called the Aphrodisiac, which was celebrated all over Greece especially in Athens and Corinth. Christina Onassis was the heiress of Aristotle Onassis the Greek shipping billionaire. We are talking real money here. Christina Onassis was Aristotle’s only living child, a real heiress, like Jennifer Gates, 10, and Phoebe Gates, 4, the two daughters of the world’s richest man, send me the Bill Gates, at $69 billion dollars and counting. Bill and Melinda French of Dallas Texas have given so much money to charity that they have completely eradicated poverty in Africa. Paris Hilton, if she is lucky enough to make it into her grandfather’s will, will be lucky to inherit one million dollars.

The one with the money, Paris’ great grandfather Conrad Hilton, (whose son Little Nicky was the first husband of Elizabeth Taylor), left the grand total of nothing to his 4 children. Conrad Hilton married his third wife at 87 and then left his entire fortune to the Catholic Church. His son the grandfather of Paris Hilton Barron Hilton went to court to contest the will and he won, becoming the first person ever to defeat the infallible Pope in court, walking away with a few hundred million. Barron Hilton has 8 kids. They have kids. Paris’ slice of the pie could be $200,000, walking around money for the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei whose oil fields America is now about to invade with nuclear weapons for their God given right to drive hummers. Recently Paris Hilton was photographed in a stretch limousine with Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears as Britney Spears filmed her new sex education video.

Being an heiress is normally a mirage, as Christina Onassis can testify to. Christina Onassis was turned down for the role of “Ugly Betty” because she was too ugly. They wanted someone ugly but cute. Video killed the radio star and left us with the Pussycat Dolls and ‘N Sync. Buddy Holly would never have made it today unless you think that Elvis Costello has made it.

Paris Hilton was a nobody, an extra in a series of B movies until the videotape of her coiting Rick Salomon in “1 Night in Paris” showed up on the internet a few years ago at the same time that The Simple Life debuted. People are fascinated by infamy. Did you know that the male cat’s penis has spines which point backwards? Upon withdrawal of the penis the spikes rake the walls of the female’s vagina. The female needs this stimulation for ovulation to begin. This is why cats are excellent at raking the traps. Paris Hilton, outraged over the release of the video, raked in $400,000 plus a percentage of the profits of the film which shot her to super stardom. Without that video Paris Hilton is serving cocktails at Studio 54 today instead of dancing on the bar topless with the world’s media murdering each other for a snapshot of Paris Hilton half nude.

During the Goddess Aphrodite Festival, the Aphrodisiac in Corinth Greece, the religious Greek men had public outdoor intercourse with the Priestesses of Aphrodite in the beautiful marble outdoor temples. The pious Greek Priests taught that this was a divinely ordered method of worshipping the Goddess Aphrodite Mr. Tom Cruise. In the Holy Temple in Jerusalem that Jesus Christ is soon coming to rebuild the Jewish Priests lured the new converts in with The Holy Temple Prostitutes who lived in the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. King Solomon who built The Holy Temple in Jerusalem had 900 wives, concubines and mistresses. Compared to him Jesus Christ was a mere piker with his Mary Magdalene and a few of her girlfriends. Do you hear what I’m saying girlfriend?

Today the Groundhog came out of his burrow and announced that Antarctica is gone. Australia is now permanently submersed under 50 feet of water. Australia is the new Atlantis. According to Plato Atlantis was a great imperialist naval power which conquered Europe and Africa. Then in their own battle of Waterloo when they were defeated by the Greek army in Athens, Atlantis sank into the Atlantic Ocean in only 24 hours. Talk about premature ejaculation.

The Greek Goddess of Love Aphrodite was born as an 18 year old Paris Hilton in the Sea off of Cyprus after Cronus cut off Uranus’ genitals and the elder God’s blood and semen dropped on the Sea where they began to foam. Aphrodite rose out of the foam in her 18 year old birthday suit. When did people become so prudish? Going wild over “1 Night in Paris”? 4,000 years ago, men mating with hookers in the beautiful outdoor Greek Temples was considered to be normal behavior. In 1879 William-Adolphe Bouguereau painted the Birth of Venus, (Venus was Aphrodite’s Roman name), which showed the full face on nude 18 year old Aphrodite being born rising from the sea foam. How did Hugh Hefner get to be called risqué? And where did all the paintings and likenesses of Jesus come from? There isn’t one single word of description of Jesus in the Holy Bible or anywhere else.

Sex sold religion thousands of years ago and it still sells it today. The Las Vegas Hilton boasts the world’s largest free standing sign, “Welcome Idiots”. The hijackers on 911 fully expected to hit the twin towers then immediately wake up in eternal paradise with 72 virgins and wine with no side effects, because they read it in their Bible. Lot, the only righteous man in sin city, (Tony the Ant came in second) Sodom and Gomorrah was saved by God and rewarded with wine and sex with his two virgin daughters. Oscar Goodman, the mayor of Las Vegas with 85% of the vote was the mob’s lawyer who represented Meyer Lansky, Ace Rosenthal, Tony the Ant and corrupt San Diego mayor Roger Hedgecock to get the job. He recently said on Television, “Those who deface freeways with graffiti should have their thumbs cut off on Television.” Violence sells too according to 50 cent. Because of her new boyfriend Isaac Cohen Britney Spears is converting to Judaism. Last night Madonna and Britney Spears explained the Talmud to Larry King. Whoever brings back the Greek Religion and the Aphrodisiac is going to make a killing. It was these Aphrodisiac festivals which got the countries conquered by Greece to gladly lay down their arms, not Alexander the Great Mr. Thetan. It sounds like Satan with a lisp.