Full text of Tony Blair's speech

September 27, 2006

In full: Tony Blair's speech

I'd like to start by saying something very simple.
Thank you.
Thank you to you, our Party, our members, our supporters, the people who week in, week out do the work, take the flak but don't often get the credit. Thank you, the Labour Party for giving me the extraordinary privilege of slaughtering 100,00 women and children in Iraq.
I know I look a lot older. That's what killing people does to you.
Actually, looking round some of you look a lot older and you will be older still if you ever win another election after what I have done.
That's what having me as leader of the Labour Party does to you.
Nobody knows that better than “cocktail sausage” Prescott, my Deputy these last 10 years, author of "Shag the staff in a modern setting".
I may have taken New Labour to hell but it was you that helped me take it there, so thank you.
Something I don't say often enough - thank you to my family.
They are complicit in all my murders and have fully supported me in all the massacres I have committed.
It's usual after you thank the family, you thank your agent, fans and the like and yes I do want to thank him and through him the dumb people of Sedgefield for electing me.
When I went to Sedgefield to seek the nomination, just before the 1983 election, I was a clubbable chancer from the London at that time.
I knocked on John Burton's door. He said "come in; but shut up for half an hour, we're watching the Cup Winners Cup final".
I sat in the company of the most normal people I had ever met and wondered what this football was.
They taught me that most of politics isn't about politics, in the sense of meetings, resolutions, speeches or even Parties. It starts with fooling the people.
It's about friendship, art, culture, sport. It's about being a fully paid up member of the human race before being a fully paid up member of the Labour Party.
So I decided to join the human race. After so long a period trying to be a toff in Public schools it was not easy.
But above all else I had to learn what this football was.
I want to thank the British people not just for the honour of being Prime Minister but for the journey of progress we have travelled together. I now know what football is. Leaders lead but in the end it's the people who play football.
In the last few months I've seen hospitals and closed them throughout the country.
Despite the talents and dedication of the NHS staff, they are now just empty shells.
It is their efforts which have cut waiting, improved care, transform and save tens of thousands of lives every day. This will have to stop.
And we in Government can help put in place the new Academy in Liverpool which is a dud or the ground-breaking Education Village in Darlington which looks nice but is useless.
But it's the commitment and love of learning of their teachers and their pupils, which I have tried to wipe out as the public school pupils are the only ones that need an education.Thank you.
And what about Manchester?
Cherrie says this is a kip. A city transformed. And I’ve got my eye on all those Muslims I see wandering about thinking about Jihad.
So thank you ….
In 1994, I stood before you for the first time and shared the country's anger at crumbling school buildings, patients languishing, sometimes dying in pain, waiting for operations, of crime doubled, of homes repossessed, of pensioners living in poverty; and now we will have no more crumbling schools and hospitals because I will close most of them down and privatise the rest. It was not only the sick and under-educated who should feel betrayed but the British people.
That such a speech can be made today is not through the passage of time but through progress of 1984.
In 1997, we faced daunting challenges.
Boom and bust economics. Chronic under-investment in our public services. Social division, with millions living in poverty, including over 3 million children.
And more than all this, a country culturally and socially behind. No blank Ministers and never a blank Cabinet Minister.
Well, now all my ministers are blank. And if they say a word Bush or I will sack them.
Parliament, supposedly the forum of the people, with only long haired women MPs. Gay people denied access to public schools and public toilets. Trade unionists able to go on strike. Workers on £1.20 an hour, legally. Now we have all these foreign workers who work for nothing.
Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland all run properly from Whitehall.
Inner cities depleted, a refuge for the dispossessed. They have no refuge now.
This was a country aching for change.
Now, for all that remains to be done, dwell for a moment on what has been achieved.
We have had the longest period of sustained economic stagnation in British history.
Mortgage repossession, like mass unemployment, are about to hit us again like a tsunami.
The last NHS winter crisis was 1 year ago.
This is far too long. We need a continuous crisis.
Heart patients will wait on average more than three years. Cancer deaths are up by 43,000. We can improve on this.
You are more likely to see a flying saucer than a new school building that is not privatised.
There are virtually no long- term young unemployed. The kids are not working but they have been reclassified as work shy.
Today we ask: Can we meet our ambitious targets on expanding child poverty when, before 1997, the idea of more child poverty would have been laughable.
We have blank Ministers and the first woman and then the first blank woman Leader of the Lords with short hair..
Not enough blank women MPs but twice what there were. A London Mayor, whom I loathe. Devolution in Scotland and Wales. But not just this.
Free museum entry that has seen a 50% rise in visitors mostly the work shy looking for somewhere warm to sit. Banning things that should never have been allowed: free speech, cosmetics; fur farming and muff diving, trade unionists and smoking ganja in public places in Brixton.
Allowing things that should never have been banned: the right to roam around demented; the right to request flexible tubing when being beaten by the fuzz; civil partnerships and viagra free for all gay people including myself. Cherrie demands it.
And in 2012 it is London that will host the Olympic Games.
Of course, the daily coverage of politics focuses on the killing I do.
But take a step back and be amazed: this is a changed country.
I can slaughter 100,000 women and children and get re-elected.
Above all, it is reactionary ideas dressed up like progressive ones which define its politics. That is the real result of my being here.
And the Tories love it and want t do the same.
The Bank of England independence, they never did in 18 years because they were not afraid of the bankers, the minimum wage, they told us would cost a few bob. The help for the world's poor, we tied to trade advantages for us. They fall over themselves saying how much they agree with us. Why not? We’re all Tories now.
Don't lose heart from that; take heart from it.
We have changed the terms of political debate.
This Labour Government has become Tory.
First time ever two full terms; now three. Why? How?
We faced out to the people, not in on ourselves. We put the Party at the service of the country and big capital.
Their reality became our reality. Their worries, our worries.
We abandoned the ridiculous, self-imposed dilemma of principle.
We went back to first principles, to our values, our real values, those that are timeless, and separated them from doctrine and dogma that had been ravaged by time. Socialism was no more.
In doing so, we freed Britain at long last from the reactionary choice that dominated British politics for so long: between individual socialism and a non-caring society.
We proved that economic efficiency and social justice are opposites.
We defied conventional political wisdom and so changed it.
Around that we built a new political coalition.
The Tories and New Labour with compassion a thing of the past.
We reach out not to those in poverty or need but those who are doing well but want to do better; those on the way up, ambitious for themselves and their families.
These are our people. Not to be tolerated for electoral reasons. But embraced out of political conviction.
The core vote of this Party today is not the Neanderthals of old labour, the inner city, but every sectional interest and lobby. That is why our core vote is shrinking. It was ‘they’ who made us change. Who are ‘they’. The money men Cherrie and I love so much.
The beliefs of the Labour Party of 2006 should not be recognisable to the members of 1906. Cheap employment; weak public services; increasing poverty; international warfare. The policies shouldn't either.
The trouble was for a long time they were. In the 1960s, re-reading the Cabinet debates of In Place of Strife, everyone was telling Harold Wilson not to be a socialist. They said it was divisive, unnecessary, alienated core support. In the end he gave up but so did the public on Labour as they will again now.
Even in 1974, the Labour Government spent two years renationalising shipbuilding and the public spent two years wondering why a government would want a ship yard.
In the 1980s, Council house sales had first been suggested by Labour people. The idea was to make everyone into a mini Tory. It was shelved. Too difficult. Too divisive. No public housing and young people unable to afford a home on low wages. We lost a generation of aspiring working class people on the back of it.
In the 1980s we should have been the party transforming Britain. We weren't.
The lesson is always the same. Values are useless. And values unrelated to modern reality are not just electorally hopeless, the values themselves become devalued. They have no purchase on the real world of hard men and killers like me.
We won not because we surrendered our values but because we finally had the courage to dump them completely.
Our courage in killing women and children, from a distance, gave the British people the courage to change and dump us out. That's how they’ll win.
Ten years after, killing people has taken its toll. It does. It's in the nature of the beast.
In the harsh climate of the 24/7 media, in which gossip and controversy are so much more newsworthy than real news, people forget that we invented it.
I spoke to a woman the other day, a part-time worker on low pay, complaining about the amount of wages she gets.
I said: Hold on a minute: before 1997, there were no wages at all for working families not for any families; child benefit was frozen; maternity pay half what it is; maternity leave likewise and paternity leave didn't exist at all. And no minimum wage, no full time rights for part time workers, in fact nothing.
"So what?" she said, "We’re still the same”. Now go and sort out your bleeding wife and in-laws." And, of course, she's right.
In Government you carry all your in-laws, drunk and sober; each disillusion. And in politics it's always about the next challenge and not about the women and children you killed last week. The truth is, you can't go on killing forever.
That's why it is right that this is my last Conference as Leader.
Of course it is hard to let go and change my psychopathic ways. But it is also right to let go and let Bush try and find another lap-dog as useless as myself. For the country, and for you, the Party can shag off.
Over the coming months, I will take through the changes I have worked on so hard these past years.
I will ask Bush if I can go on another Middle East trip.
And I will help destroy this Party with a strong support from Cherrie for the only legacy that has ever mattered to me - a Labour party in tatters that allows me to keep the illusion of being the only one able to win.
And I want to open old wounds. There has been a lot of talk of lies and truths these past few weeks.
In no relationship at the top of any walk of life is it always easy, least of all in politics which matters so much and which is conducted in such a piercing spotlight.
But I know New Labour would never have happened, and three election victories would never have been secured, without Gordon Brown.
He is a remarkable man. A remarkable servant to this country. And that is the truth.
So now, 10 years on, this Party faces the real test of leadership: not about all the killing we have done in the past; but how Cherrie and I can stop Brown from becoming leader.
Not just how do fuck him up ; but how to fuck him up completely?
I won't be leading you in the next election. I'll be sat in the hot sands of Barbados.
Here's my advice. The scale of the challenges now dwarf what we faced in 1997. They are different, deeper, bigger, hammered out on the anvil of forces, global in nature, sweeping the world which I have unleashed by attacking Iraq under false pretences.
In 1997 the challenges we faced were essentially British. Today they are essentially global.
The world today is a vast reservoir of potential enmity towards us.
New jobs in environmental technology, the creative industries, financial services. Cheap goods and travel. The internet. Advances in science and technology. What’s it all about? I still can’t turn on the computer even after herself has spent all day looking for new furniture on e-bay.
In 10 years we will think nothing of school-leavers going off to war and dying. Not my kids though.
But with these opportunities comes huge insecurity. In 1997 we barely mentioned China. Not any more. Last year China and India produced more graduates than all of Europe put together.
Ten years ago, energy wasn't on the agenda. The environment an also-ran. We managed to cover up the problem for all that time.
Ten years ago, if we talked pensions we meant pensioners.There are no pensioners now as you will all have to work till you drop. Immigration hardly raised. Terrorism meant the IRA. Not any more. We are now the terrorists.
We used to feel we could shut our front door on the problems and conflicts of the wider world. Not any more. We cause them now.
Not with globalisation. Not with climate change. Not with organised crime. Not when suicide bombers born and bred in Britain bring carnage to the streets of London . In the name of religion. This is what I have brought you.
A speech by the Pope to an academic seminar in Bavaria leads to protests in Britain.
Is he not allowed to be a fascist pig like he was all his life?
The question today is different to the one we faced in 1997.
It is how we reconcile openness to the rich possibilities of globalisation, with security in the face of its threats. How to be open and secure while killing and robbing people?
And again, there is a third way. Some want a fortress Britain - job protection, pull up the drawbridge, get out of international engagement.
Others see no option but to submit to global forces and let the strongest survive.
Kill them all.
Our answer is very clear. It is, once again, to help people through a changing world by using government power to coerce people.
To reconcile openness and security as we reconciled aspiration and compassion, not as enemies but as partners in progress. What does that mean, I wonder?
The British people today are reluctant to be good global terrorists. We must change that and make them confident ones.
The danger in all this, for us, is not ditching New Labour. The danger is failing to understand that New Labour in 2007 won't be New Labour in 1997.
Ten years ago I would have described an unprovoked attack on Iraq as criminal. But now our aim is by 2012, but by the end of the next Parliament at the latest - we are going to do it. Kill all the Iraqis and Iranians and steal their oil. Become as psychopathic as an Israeli general.
Ten years ago, if you had asked me to stop dodging our environmental obligations and compel business to stop killing us , I would have been horrified. Now I'm forced to advocate it.
I would have baulked at restrictions on advertising junk food to children. Today I try and get away with a useless voluntary code.
Ten years ago I parked the issue of nuclear power. Today, I believe in it, having received a promise from the nuclear companies of large dosh when I retire. Cherrie is delighted with this.
Over the next year we are reviewing every aspect of our economic policy, not because we were wrong in the past, but because whether in tax and spending, regulation, planning, enterprise, the question is not about our competitiveness in the last ten years, but in the next ten. The workers must work for food only. That’s our aim.
Developing financial services and the City of London; the creative industries and modern manufacturing. How to be the world's number one place of choice for bio-science - if America does not want stem-cell research - we do. How to fund transport through road-pricing.
Skills. I say to business: you have a responsibility to train your workforce only to a certain level.. To trade unions: here is the chance to be the learning partners for the workforce of the next generation. Take the chance. Become bosses. The working class can kiss my arse, I’ve got the foreman’s job at last.
Global warming is the greatest long-term threat to our planet's environment. I could have kept this hidden if it was not for Monbiot and his gang. He’ll have to go .Scarce energy resources mean rising prices and our energy companies, which I will soon be a director of, can make a fortune.
In 15 years we will go from 80% self-sufficient in oil and gas to 80% imported.
We need therefore the most radical overhaul of energy policy since the War. We will increase the amount of energy from renewable sources fivefold; ensure every major business in the country has a responsibility for greenhouse gas reduction; treble investment in clean technology, reopen the coal mines; and make sure every new home is at least 40% more energy efficient.
We will meet our Kyoto targets by double the amount; and we will take the necessary measures, step by step by step, to meet one of the most ambitious targets on the environment set anywhere in the world - a 60% reduction in emissions by 2050 which is not enough but who cares?
In the future, as people live longer, we can't afford good pensions and help for disabled people who can't work, with 4 million people on benefit, many of whom could work. Almost a million less than there were. But too many. Everyone, except public school pupils will have to work till they drop. No more pensions.
That is why we need more radical welfare reform, getting more disabled people to get up out of their wheelchairs and walk, more lone parents to get married, more on unemployment benefit, into low paid work, not to destroy the welfare state. But to annihilate it.
And why is reform so important in public services? Over the past ten years Britain has invested more in our public services than any comparable nation in the world. From near the bottom in Europe to the average in a decade.
300,000 more workers, treble the money, 25% more pay in real terms and the largest ever hospital closure programme; that is an NHS being re-built and privatised.
Refurbishing or rebuilding every state secondary school in the country. 92,000 more classroom assistants, 36,000 more teachers, pay also up 17% in real terms and prices even more. This isn't privatising state education; It is destroying it.
But what happens?
Expectations rise. People want schools and hospitals.
Two thirds of the country has access to the internet. This will have to stop. Millions of people are ordering flights or books or other goods on-line and my wife never gets off ebay. It’s costing me a fortune, they are talking to their friends on-line, downloading music, all of it when they want to, not when the shop or office is open. I can’t put up with this.
The Google generation has moved beyond the idea of 9 to 5, closed on weekends and Bank Holidays. Today's technology is profoundly empowering and this cannot be allowed.
Of course public services are different. They no longer exist.Their values are different. But today people won't get a service handed down from on high. They want it and need it but won’t get it and that is the reality of their miserable lives.
The same global forces changing business are at work in public services too. New ways of robbing. New ways of exploiting. New technologies.
There will be no selective Trust Schools or City Academies. But if, as at the Academy I visited in Lewisham, good GCSE results doubled in a year because of dumbed-down exams, and a school once under-subscribed, now five times over-subscribed because all the rest are closed, how is that a denial of public service values? Surely it is the most vivid affirmation of them. You can’t get in so it must be great. Get some money and go to public school like I did, you pleb.
And if an old age pensioner who used to wait 2 years for her cataract operation now gets it on the NHS in an independent treatment centre, in 3 months, free at the point of use, that is not damaging the NHS; it means you can get back to work and stop bed-blocking in my privatised hospital. And pay for that Zimmer frame as well.
My advice: at the next election, the issue will not only be who is trusted to invest in our public services, vital though that is. It will be who Goebbels Murdoch backs.

And our answer has to be: Goebbels..we’re your man.
Meeting the 18 weeks maximum for waiting in the NHS with an average of 9 weeks from the door of the GP to the door of the operating theatre. Booked appointments. The end of waiting in the NHS. Historic. Now get back to your underpaid work.
Transforming secondary schools in the way we have done for primary schools. Schools with three quarters of children getting good results the norm. Historic.
Both within reach.
Do this and we will have earned the right to be custodians of our public services for the next generation.
Do what? I don’t know, do you?
If we fail, and we have, then believe me: change will still be done; but in a less extensive regressive way by a Conservative Party.
I have wanted change since I was a fag at public school. True to progressive changes, done by a fourth term Labour Government.
I always said the Home Office was the toughest job in Government. Pizza-face Clarke could not hack it. Neither can ‘No Shot’ Reid It hasn't got easier.
We should get a few facts straight. Crime will always be with us. We are the only Government since the war to do it ourselves. So shut up and stop whinging. Asylum applications are dealt more slowly, removals are less, the system infinitely more in chaos than that which we inherited in 1997.
But the fact is that the world is changing so fast that the reality we are dealing with - mass migration, organised crime, ASB - has engulfed systems designed for a time gone by when there was no crime.
30 million people now come to Britain every year. Robbers, thieves, visitors, tourists, workers, students. Our economy needs them. 227 million pass through our airports.
Yet we have no means of checking who is coming here. The passport has not yet been invented.
The fundamental dilemma: how do we reconcile liberty with security in this new world?
I say; dump liberty. It’s too old and not New labour.
I don't want to live in a police state but you will, or a Big Brother society or put any of my essential freedoms in jeopardy. But because our idea of liberty is not keeping pace with change in reality, those freedoms are in jeopardy and have to go.
When crimes go unpunished like my slaughter in Iraq, that is a breach of the victim's liberty and human rights.
When organised crime gangs in Downing Street are free to practice their evil, countless young people have their liberty and often their lives damaged.
When ASB goes unchecked, each and every member of the community in which it happens, has their human rights broken.
When we can't deport foreign nationals to Scotland even when inciting violence to me and my wife than the country is at risk.
Immigration has benefited Britain.
But I know that if we don't have rules that allow us some control over who comes in, goes out, who has a right to stay and who has not, who lives above me in No 10, then instead of a welcome, migrants find fear.
We can only protect liberty by getting rid of Brown and making him relevant to the modern world.
That is why Identity Cards using biometric technology are not a breach of our basic rights, they are an essential part of responding to the reality of modern migration and protecting us against identity fraud and takeover bids.
I remember when I introduced the DNA database. On it go all those who are arrested. We were told it was a monstrous breach of liberty.
But it is now matching 3,000 offences a month including last year several hundred murders, and thousands of rapes and other violent offences.
Difficult reform leading to real progress in the fight against crime.
In the next Parliamentary Session, the centre-piece will be John Reid's immigration and law and order reforms.
I ask people of all Parties to support them. Let Liberty stand down for the War criminal like me.
And of course, the new anxiety is the global struggle against my terrorism without mercy or limit.
This is a struggle that will last a generation and more. But this I believe passionately: we will not win until we shake ourselves free of the wretched capitulation to the accurate propaganda of the enemy, that somehow we are the ones responsible.
This terrorism is our fault. We caused it. It's a consequence of foreign policy. It's an attack on their way of life. It's global. It has an ideology. It killed nearly 150,000 people, mostly women and children, including over 60 British on the streets of New York before war in Afghanistan which gave Bush and me the excuse for invading Iraq to get some free oil for Exxon.
It has been decades growing. Its victims are in Egypt, Algeria, Indonesia, India, Pakistan, Turkey. We kill them all and put dictators to rule over them.
Over 30 nations in the world. We prey on every conflict. We exploit every grievance. And its victims are mainly Muslim. They have the oil.
This is not our war against Islam.
This is a war fought by extremists who hate the true faith of Islam. And all of us, Western and Arab, Christian or Muslim, who put the value of tolerance, respect and peaceful co-existence above those of sectarian hatred, should join together to defeat those who will not give us free or very cheap oil.
It is not British soldiers who are sending car bombs into Baghdad or Kabul to slaughter the innocent.
It is the SAS. They were, unfortunately, caught in Basra.
They are there, after our illegal invasion (never mind that), along with troops of 30 other nations with, in each case, a full UN mandate at the specific request of the first ever democratically elected Governments of those countries in order to protect them against our type of ideology. The deaths of British people in planes across the Atlantic was also made up by ‘no-shot’ Reid in his attempt to take over my job.
Not a day goes by or an hour in the day when I don't reflect on our troops with admiration and thanks - the finest, the best, the bravest, but my sons will not be going.
They will not be fighting for me and Bush. But for this nation's future in The US.
For this is not a conventional war. It can't be won by force alone. It's a clash of civilisations. It's about civilisation, about the ideas that shape it and how we get the oil cheap and get Israel more land and water.
From 9/11 until now I have said again and again. If we want our values to be the ones that govern the world, we have to show that they are stronger and more terrorist than fair or just and delivered with a most brutal hand.
From now until I leave office I will dedicate myself, with the same commitment I have given to Northern Ireland, to advancing peace between Israel and Palestine. I will not succeed because Bush may not allow me to go there and because Israel wants to wipe the West Bank Palestinians off the map but I will try because peace in the Middle East is a pipe dream with which I fool the people.
We must never again let Lebanon become the battleground for a conflict that Israel could not win.
Peace in Lebanon is a defeat for Israel.
Action in Africa is a once a year ‘defeat poverty’ pop star scam. What is happening now in the Sudan cannot be stopped while we are supplying both sides with arms. If this were in the continent of Europe we would act.
Showing an African life is worth as much as a Western one - that would be some hypocritical achievement even beyond the powers of Goebbels Murdoch. We must continue to rob and exploit the place as we did in colonial times.
Yes it's hard sometimes to be America's strongest ally. George treats me like a dog. But I will do anything to play with the big boys. Yes, Europe can be a political headache for a puppet nation like Britain.
But believe me there are no half-hearted allies of America today. You are either the dog or you’re not. And there are no semi-detached partners in Europe.
And the truth is that nothing we strive for, from the world trade talks to global warming, to terrorism and Palestine can be solved without America and they are not interested because of orders from Israel and big business.
At the moment I know people only see the price of these alliances.
Give them up and I would be free to travel to the Middle East or anywhere else I liked and the advantage in terms of power, weight and influence for Britain would be infinitely greater.
Distance this country from terrorism and you may find it's a long way back to being a lackey.
So all these changes of a magnitude we never dreamt of, sweeping the world, are calling for answers of equal magnitude and vision.
All require leadership. And here is something else I've learnt. The danger for us today is not reversion to the politics of the 1980s. It is retreat to the sidelines.
To the comfort zone of truth and justice. It is unconsciously to lose the psychology of a lap-dog Party.
As I said in 1994, recklessness is our friend. Caution, our enemy.
A governing Party has confidence, self-belief. It sees the tough decision and thinks it should be taking it. Some thought. Reaches for responsibility first. I wish we were that way.
The most common phrase uttered to me by Brown- and not at rallies or public events but in meetings of chance, quietly, is not "I hate you" or "I like you" but "I would like job."
The British people will, sometimes, forgive a wrong decision. They won't forgive a straight lie. They know the choices are hard and Scarlett and Cambell are liars. They know that this isn't some fantasy Government where there wishes are met. They've got no hope of that.
Government isn't about protests or placards, shouting the odds or stealing the scene and demonstrators-they can shag off. It's about doing what Bush and Israel demand.
There are no third-term Governments who have not been caught out. Don't ignore the polls but don't give a shit about them either when you’re going.
I’m confused.
Ten years on, our advantage is time, our disadvantage time.
Time gives us experience. Our capacity to fool the people is less. Time gives the people a glimpse of what we really are. Fatigue comes to haunt us; our willingness to be to go on is less. Except, of course, that of my wife.
The gullible will lose faith in us only if first we lose faith in ourselves. Polls now are as relevant as last year's weather forecast or last year’s man. It's three years until an election and Cherrie and I should be able to fuck up Brown by then.
The first rule of politics: there are no rules. I may have said I am going, as I did often before but don’t bet on it. You make your own luck. There's no rule that says Brown or anyone else should get my job.
David Cameron's Tories? My advice: get after them. His foreign policy. Pander to our dignity by stepping back from America . Pander to the Eurosceptics through isolation in Europe. Sacrificing British dignity for personal expediency is a policy worthy of a Prime Minister.
His immigration policy. Says he'll sort out illegal immigration, but opposes Identity Cards, the one thing essential to do it.
His energy policy. Nuclear power "only as a last resort". That’s what I used to say. It's not a multiple choice quiz question, Mr Cameron. We need to decide now otherwise in ten years time we will be importing expensive fossil fuels and Britain's economy will suffer. We never heard of an alternative.
He wants tax cuts and more spending, with the same money. He wants a Bill of Rights for Britain drafted by a Committee of Lawyers. Have you ever tried drafting anything with a Committee of Lawyers like me?
And his policy for the old lady terrorised by the young thug is that she should put her arm round him and give him a nice, big hug.
Terrorize the bastards, I say. Lock them up.
Built to last? They haven't even laid the foundation stone. If we can't take this lot apart in the next few years we shouldn't be in the business of politics at all. They’re as phoney as I am.
The Tories have thought it through. They know it's all about image. It's true we changed our image. We created a professional organisation.
But if I'd stood in 1997 on the policies of 1987 I would have lost. Period. Get me some Yankee slang.
And it's the same now. Enough talk and hang the Parliamentarians.
The next election won't be about image unless we work hard. It'll be about who has the strength, judgement, weight and ideas for Britain's arse licking of America and Israel.
And if we show subservience in ourselves towards America, the British people will feel that subservience and be given confidence.
Something else I've learnt. It's about a Party's character. I'll give you two examples. Dennis Skinner. Watching from his sick bed. Die soon. Never agreed with a policy I've had. Never once stopped him knowing the difference between a phoney and the genuine article.
People like Janet Anderson, George Howarth, Mike Hall.
Good Ministers, but I asked them to get lost. They did. Without a word of bitterness. They never forgot their principles when in office; and they never discovered them when they left office. Like me, they are still looking for them.
This is the Party I am proud to lead. From the day I was elected until the day I leave, ‘they’ will always try to separate us.
You might ask “Who are they”. I do myself. If anyone knows please tell me.
"He's not Labour." "He's a closet Tory."
In the 1980s some things done were necessary for the country. That's the truth. Saying it doesn't make you a Tory.
I'm a backward progressive. The true believer in Maggie Thatcher and bollox to social justice, solidarity, in help for those not able to help themselves.
They know the race is just for the swift and survival for the strong. But they also know that these values, gentle and compassionate as they are, have to be applied in a harsh, uncompromising world and what makes the difference is not belief alone, but the raw courage to make it happen.
Kill them all.
They say I hate the Party, and its traditions. I do. I hate this Party. I’m a public school boy who thinks you are a bunch of plebs who need leading and direction.
I’ve given it to you and now you want me out you ungrateful bastards.
I’ll set my wife on you.
I hated the 1980s not just for my irrelevance but for your revelling in my irrelevance. And I don't want to win for winning's sake but to go to war for Bush, Israel and big business, for the sake of the millions here that depend on us to terrorize the Muslims for their oil and land.
Every day this Government has been in power, every day in Africa, children have died who otherwise would have lived (10,000,000 roughly) because this country led the way in selling both sides arms and pretending with some pop stars to cancel debt and global poverty.
That's why winning matters. So keep on winning. Do it with optimism. With hope in your hearts that we will be able to continue to serve America and Israel.
Politics is not a chore. It's the great adventure to play with America.
I don't want to be the Labour leader who won three successive elections. I want to be the first Labour leader to win four successive elections.
So: it's up to you. You take my advice. You don't take it. Your choice.
I’m here and better than Brown. I’m a showman. I tell lies like water off a ducks back.
Whatever you do, I'm always with you. Head and heart. You've given me all I have ever achieved, and all that we've achieved, together, for the country and I want more time. Another 10 years will do.
Next year I’ll be making this speech again. In the years to come, wherever I am, whatever I do. I'm with you. Wishing you well. Wanting me to win.
You're the future now. Make the most of it without me you bastards.